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Philocleon comes out of the house, followed by his son and a slave. The Chorus turns to face them.

Philocleon
As long as I live, I will never give up this cloak; it's the one I wore in that battle when Boreas delivered us from such fierce attacks.

Bdelycleon
[1125] You do not know what is good for you.

Philocleon
Ah! I do not know how to use fine clothing! The other day, when cramming myself with fried fish, I dropped so many grease spots that I had to pay three obols to the cleaner.

Bdelycleon
[1130] At least have a try, since you have once for all handed the care for your well-being over to me.

Philocleon
Very well then! what must I do?

Bdelycleon
Take off your cloak, and put on this tunic in its stead.

Philocleon
Was it worth while to beget and bring up children, so that this one should now wish to choke me?

Bdelycleon
[1135] Come, take this tunic and put it on without so much talk.

Philocleon
Great gods! what sort of a cursed garment is this?

Bdelycleon
Some call it a pelisse, others a Persian cloak.

Philocleon
Ah! I thought it was a wraprascal like those made at Thymaetis.

Bdelycleon
No wonder. It's only at Sardis you could have seen them, [1140] and you have never been there.

Philocleon
Of course not, but it seems to me exactly like the mantle Morychus sports.

Bdelycleon
Not at all; I tell you they are woven at Ecbatana.

Philocleon
What! are there woollen ox-guts then at Ecbatana?

Bdelycleon
[1145] Whatever are you talking about? These are woven by the barbarians at great cost. I am certain this pelisse has consumed more than a talent of wool.

Philocleon
It should be called wool-waster then instead of pelisse.

Bdelycleon
Come, father, just hold still [1150] for a moment and put it on.

Philocleon
Oh! horrors! what a waft of heat the hussy sends up my nose!

Bdelycleon
Will you have done with this fooling?

Philocleon
No by Zeus. But my good lad, if need be, I prefer you should put me in the oven.

Bdelycleon
Come, I will put it round you. There!

Philocleon
[1155] At all events, bring out a crook.

Bdelycleon
Why, whatever for?

Philocleon
To drag me out of it before I am quite melted.

Bdelycleon
Now take off those wretched clogs and put on these nice Laconian slippers.

Philocleon
[1160] I put on odious slippers made by our foes! Never!

Bdelycleon
Come! put your foot in and push hard. Quick!

Philocleon
You're doing wrong here. You want me to put my foot on Laconian ground.

Bdelycleon
Now the other.

Philocleon
[1165] Ah! no, not that foot; one of its toes holds the Laconians in horror.

Bdelycleon
Positively you must.

Philocleon
Alas! alas! Then I shall have no chilblains in my old age.

Bdelycleon
Now, hurry up and get them on; and now imitate the easy effeminate gait of the rich. See, like this.

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