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I am at no loss for information about you and your family; but I am at a loss where to begin. Shall I relate how your father Tromes was a slave in the house of Elpias, who kept an elementary school near the Temple of Theseus, and how he wore shackles on his legs and a timber collar round his neck? or how your mother practised daylight nuptials in an outhouse next door to Heros the bone-setter,1 and so brought you up to act in tableaux vivants and to excel in minor parts on the stage? However, everybody knows that without being told by me. Shall I tell you how Phormio the boatswain, a slave of Dio of Phrearrii, uplifted her from that chaste profession? But I protest that, however well the story becomes you, I am afraid I may be thought to have chosen topics unbecoming to myself.

1 Heros the bone-setter: this interpretation is doubtful; it assumes (1) identity with a person called, more respectfully, Heros the physician, in a similar passage of the speech On the Embassy, Dem. 19; (2) thatκαλαμίτηςmay mean one who uses splints (κάλαμοι). Otherwise: near the shrine (or statue) of the hero Calamites— unknown elsewhere, but perhaps identical with the Lycian “Hero Physician.” See Essay 6. in Goodwin's edition.

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