IN SELF-GRATULATION.If to remember deeds whilòme well done be a pleasure
Meet for a man who deems all of his dealings be just,
Nor Holy Faith ever broke nor in whatever his compact
Sanction of Gods abused better to swindle mankind,
Much there remains for thee during length of living, Catullus,
Out of that Love ingrate further to solace thy soul;
For whatever of good can mortal declare of another
Or can avail he do, such thou hast said and hast done;
While to a thankless mind entrusted all of them perisht.
Why, then, crucify self now with a furthering pain?
Why not steady thy thoughts and draw thee back from such purpose,
Ceasing wretched to be maugrè the will of the Gods?
Difficult 'tis indeed long Love to depose of a sudden,
Difficult 'tis, yet do e'en as thou deem to be best.
This be thy safe-guard sole; this conquest needs to be conquered;
This thou must do, thus act, whether thou cannot or can.
If an ye have (0 Gods!) aught ruth, or if you for any
Bring at the moment of death latest assistance to man,
Look upon me (poor me!) and, should I be cleanly of living,
Out of my life deign pluck this my so pestilent plague,
Which as a lethargy o'er mine inmost vitals a-creeping,
Hath from my bosom expelled all of what joyance it joyed,
Now will I crave no more she love me e'en as I love her,
Nor (impossible chance!) ever she prove herself chaste:
Would I were only healed and shed this fulsome disorder.
Oh Gods, grant me this boon unto my piety due!