CDXXVI (A XI, 13)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)I have not received anything by way of a letter as yet from Muraena's freedman. Publius Siser delivered the one which I am now answering. You mention a letter from the elder Servius; also you say that certain persons announce the arrival of Quintus in Syria—neither is true. You want to know how the several persons who have arrived here are or have been disposed towards me: I have not found any of them ill-disposed; but I know, of course, that you are alive to the importance of this fact to me. For myself, while the whole position is intolerably painful, nothing is more so than the fact that what I have always wished not to happen now appears the only thing for my security. 1 They say that the elder Publius Lentulus is at Rhodes, the younger at Alexandria, and it is certain that Gaius Cassius has left Rhodes for Alexandria. 2 Quintus writes to me to apologize in language much more irritating than when he was accusing me most violently. For he says that he understands from your letter that you disapprove of his having written to many persons with severity about me, and that therefore he is sorry for having hurt your feelings, but that he had done so on good grounds. Then he sets down—but in most indecent terms —the reasons for his having so acted. But neither at the present juncture, nor before, would he have betrayed his hatred for me, had he not seen that I was a ruined man. And oh that I had come nearer to you, even if I had made the journeys by night, as you suggested! As it is, I cannot conceive either where or when I am likely to see you. As to my co-heirs to the property of Fufidius, there was no occasion for you to write to me: for their demand is in itself equitable, and whatever arrangement you had made I should have regarded as right and proper. As to the repurchase of the property at Frusino, you have for some time past been acquainted with my wishes. Although my affairs were then in a better position, and I was not expecting such a desperate situation, I am nevertheless in the same mind. Please see how it may be brought about. And I beg you to consider, to the best of your ability, whence I may raise the necessary funds. Such means as I had I transferred to Pompey at a time when it seemed a prudent thing to do. 3 At that time, therefore, I took up money from your steward as well as borrowing from other sources; the time when Quintus writes to complain that I never gave him a farthing—I who was never asked for it by him, or had myself set eyes on the money. But pray see what can be scraped together, and what advice you would give on all points. You know the ins and outs of it. Grief prevents my writing more. If there is anything you think ought to be written to anybody in my name, pray do as usual: and whenever you find anybody to whom you can intrust a letter for me, I beg you not to omit doing so. Good-bye.