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CDXIV (A XI, 5)

TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
BRUNDISIUM (4 NOVEMBER)
What the reasons were, and how distressing, peremptory, and unprecedented, which influenced me and compelled me to follow an impulsive feeling, so to speak, rather than deliberate thought, I cannot tell you in writing without the utmost anguish of mind. They were so powerful as to effect what you see. 1 Accordingly I cannot think of anything to say to you about my affairs or to ask of you. The actual result and the upshot of the whole business is before you. I have myself gathered from your letters-both the one written in conjunction with others, and the one in your own name—that (as I saw independently) being in a manner unnerved by the unexpected turn of affairs, you are trying to find other methods of protecting me. You say in your letter that you think I ought to come nearer, and make my journey through the towns by night: but I cannot at all see how that can possibly be done. For neither have I suitable stopping-places, in which I could possibly pass all the hours of daylight, nor for the object which you have in view does it much matter whether men see me in a town or on the road. However, I will consider even this, as I shall other plans, to see how it can be most advantageously managed. For myself, owing to my extraordinary uneasiness both of body and mind, I have been incapable of composing numerous letters: I have only answered those who have written to me. Pray write to Basilus and to others to whom you think it proper-even to Servilius 2 —in my name, and say whatever you think right. As to the long interval during which I have written nothing at all to you, you will understand from this letter that what I lacked was a subject to write about, not willingness to write. You ask about Vatinius. 3 I should not have wanted attentions from him nor from anyone else either, if they could have found any way to be of use to me. Quintus was completely alienated from me at Patrae His son came thither also from Corcyra. From that place I presume that they have started with the rest. 4


1 His leaving the Pompeian fleet and coming to Italy.

2 P. Servilius Vatia Isauricus, Caesar's colleague in the consulship. Basilus is L. Minucius Basilus, an officer of Caesar's, and afterwards one of his assassins.

3 Cicero's relations with P. Vatinius—though he had finally defended him at Pompey's request—had been so unfriendly, that Atticus had some reason for doubting how he would treat Cicero at Brundisium, where he was in command of some of Caesar's ships. (Caes. B. Alex. 47.)

4 I.e., to Asia or Alexandria, to make their peace with Caesar.

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