CCCLXXV (A IX, 18)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
ARPINUMum 29 MARCH
I FOLLOWED your advice in both particulars:
for I spoke in such a manner as rather to gain his
respect than his thanks, and I stuck to the
resolution of not going to Rome. I found myself
mistaken in one respect—in thinking that
he would be easily satisfied. I never saw anything
less so. He kept remarking that he was condemned
by my decision, that the rest would be the slower
to come, if I did not do so. I remarked that their
case was unlike mine. After much discussion he
said, "Come, then, and discuss the question of
peace." . " At my own discretion?" said I. "Am I
to prescribe to you?" said he. "My motion will be
this," said I, "that the senate disapproves of any
going to Spain or taking armies across to Greece,
and," I added, "I shall make many regretful marks
as to Gnaeus." Thereupon he said, "Of course, I
don't wish such things said." "So I supposed,"
said I, "but I must decline being present there,
because I must either speak in this sense, and say
many things which I could not possibly pass over,
if present, or I must not come at all." The upshot
was that, by way of ending the discussion, he
requested that I would think it over. I couldn't
say no to that. So we parted. I feel certain,
therefore, that he has no love for me. But I felt
warm satisfaction with myself, which hasn't been
the case for some time past. For the rest, good
heavens! What a crew! What an inferno! to use your
word. . 1
What a gang of bankrupts and
desperadoes! What is one to say of a son of
Servius, a son of Tullus having been in the camp
by which Pompey was besieged? Six legions! He is
extra-ordinarily vigilant, extraordinarily bold: I
see no limit to the mischief. Now, at any rate, it
is time for you to bring out your counsels. This
is where you drew the line. Yet his closing remark
in our interview, which I had almost forgotten to
mention, was very offensive, that "if he was not
allowed to avail himself of my counsels, he would
avail himself of such as he could, and would
scruple at nothing." "So you have seen with your
own eyes," say you, "that the man is such as you
described him to be. Did it cost you a sigh ?"
Yes, indeed. "Tell me the rest." Well, he went
straight off to his villa at Pedum, I to Arpinum.
Next I await the "twittering swallow"—to
which you refer. 2 "Come," you will say, "don't cry over
spilt milk: 3 even the
leader himself, whom we are following, has made
many mistakes." But I wait
for a letter from you. For you can't say, as in
former ones, "Let us see how this turns out." The
final test was to be our meeting, and in that I
feel certain I have offended him. All the more
prompt must be my next step. Pray send me a
packet, and full of politics! I am very anxious
for a letter from you.
ARPINUMum 29 MARCH