DCCCXXI (F X, 31)
C. ASINIUS POLLIO TO CICERO (AT
ROME)
CORDUBA, 16 MARCH
You ought not to think it at all surprising
that I have written nothing to you on public
affairs since war broke out. For the pass of the
Castulonian Mountains, which has always delayed my
letter-carriers, though it has now become still
more dangerous from the increase of banditti, is
yet by no means so grave a hindrance as the
parties which, stationed at every available
position at both ends, spy out my letter-carriers
and detain them. 1 Accordingly, if I
didn't get letters by sea, I should be entirely
ignorant of what was going on at Rome. Now,
however, having got an opportunity, since
navigation has begun, 2 I
shall write to you with the greatest eagerness and
as frequently as I can. There is no danger of my
being affected by the conversation of the man,
3 whom —though there
is no one who can bear the sight of him-men can
yet never hate as much as he deserves. For he is
so utterly detestable in my eyes that everything I
have to do with him is odious to me. Moreover, my
actual disposition and pursuits incline me to
desire peace and liberty. Accordingly, I have
often bitterly mourned over that first step in the
civil war. Since, however, it was impossible for
me to be neutral, because I had bitter enemies on
both sides, I shunned the camp, in which I knew
for certain that I should not be safe from the
plots of my personal enemy. 4 Being thus
compelled to go to the last place to which I
desired to go, that I might not be lost in the
crowd, I boldly confronted dangers without any
hesitation. To Caesar, indeed, who regarded me as
one of his oldest friends, though he had not known
me until he had reached his own splendid position,
I was attached with the utmost devotion and
fidelity. What I was permitted to do in harmony
with my own opinion I did in such a manner as to
procure the warmest approbation of all the best
men. When I acted under orders, I did so with so
much deliberation and in such a spirit as made it
evident that I was an unwilling recipient of the
commands. But the wholly undeserved odium roused
by my conduct sufficed to teach me the charm of
liberty and the wretchedness of life under a
tyranny. Accordingly, if the object of the present
proceedings is to bring everything once more under
the power of a single person, whoever he is, I
avow myself his enemy: nor is there any danger
which I would shun or deprecate on behalf of
liberty. But the consuls have neither by
senatorial decree nor by despatch given me any
instructions as to what I was to do. For I have
only received one despatch from Pansa, and that
not till the 15th of March, in which he urges me
to write a letter to the senate declaring that I
and my army will be at its disposal.. But seeing
that Lepidus was making speeches and
writing to tell everybody that he was at one with
Antony, this was the most awkward possible step
for me to take. For by what road was I to lead my
legions through his province against his will? Or
if I had effected the rest of the journey, could I
take wings and fly over the Alps, which are
occupied by his force? Add to this the
impossibility of a despatch getting through on any
terms: for letter-carriers are examined in
countless places, and finally are even detained by
Lepidus. No one will question the sincerity of my
public pronouncement at Corduba, that I would hand
over the province to no one who did not arrive
with a commission from the senate. For why need I
describe the violent controversies I have had
about handing over the thirtieth legion? And if I
had handed it oyer, who does not know how much
less effective in serving the state I was likely
to be? For I assure you that it is the most
gallant and best fighting legion in existence.
Wherefore make up your mind that I am, to begin
with a man most strongly in favour of
peace—for I am seriously desirous that
all citizens should be unmolested—and in
the second place one prepared to assert my own and
the state's freedom alike. Your admitting my
friend into the list of yours is more gratifying
to me than you can think: yet I am envious of his
walking and jesting with you. You will ask me how
much I value that. If ever I am allowed to enjoy
leisure you shall find out from experience: for I
will never budge a step from your side. One thing
does profoundly surprise me—that you
have never written to tell me whether I could
better serve the Republic by remaining in my
province or by leading my army into Italy. For my
part, though it is safer and less laborious to
remain, yet because I see that at such a crisis
there is much more occasion for legions than for
provinces (especially such as can be recovered
without difficulty) I have resolved, as things are
now, to start with my army. For the restt, you
will learn everything from my despatch to Pansa,
for I am inclosing a copy of it for your perusal.
16 March, Corduba.
CORDUBA, 16 MARCH