Troy. Before Priam's palace.
Enter TROILUS armed, and PANDARUS.

Call here my varlet; I'll unarm again:
Why should I war without the walls of Troy,
That find such cruel battle here within?
Each Trojan that is master of his heart,
Let him to field; Troilus, alas! hath none.

Will this gear ne'er be mended?

The Greeks are strong and skilful to their strength,
Fierce to their skill and to their fierceness valiant;
But I am weaker than a woman's tear,
10Tamer than sleep, fonder than ignorance,
Less valiant than the virgin in the night
And skilless as unpractised infancy.

Well, I have told you enough of this:
for my part, I'll not meddle nor make no further.
He that will have a cake out of the wheat
must needs tarry the grinding.

Have I not tarried?

Ay, the grinding; but you must tarry the bolting.

Have I not tarried?

20Ay, the bolting, but you must tarry the leavening.

Still have I tarried.

Ay, to the leavening; but here's yet
in the word 'hereafter' the kneading, the making
of the cake, the heating of the oven and
the baking; nay, you must stay the cooling
too, or you may chance to burn your lips.

Patience herself, what goddess e'er she be,
Doth lesser blench at sufferance than I do.
At Priam's royal table do I sit;
30And when fair Cressid comes into my thoughts,--
So, traitor! 'When she comes!' When is she thence?

Well, she looked yesternight fairer
than ever I saw her look, or any woman else.

I was about to tell thee:--when my heart,
As wedged with a sigh, would rive in twain,
Lest Hector or my father should perceive me,
I have, as when the sun doth light a storm,
Buried this sigh in wrinkle of a smile:
But sorrow, that is couch'd in seeming gladness,
40Is like that mirth fate turns to sudden sadness.

An her hair were not somewhat
darker than Helen's--well, go to--there were
no more comparison between the women; but,
for my part, she is my kinswoman; I would
not, as they term it, praise her: but I would
somebody had heard her talk yesterday, as I
did. I will not dispraise your sister Cassandra's
wit, but--

O Pandarus! I tell thee, Pandarus,--
When I do tell thee, there my hopes lie drown'd,
50Reply not in how many fathoms deep
They lie indrench'd. I tell thee I am mad
In Cressid's love: thou answer'st 'she is fair;'
Pour'st in the open ulcer of my heart
Her eyes, her hair, her cheek, her gait, her voice,
Handlest in thy discourse, O, that her hand,
In whose comparison all whites are ink,
Writing their own reproach, to whose soft seizure
The cygnet's down is harsh and spirit of sense
Hard as the palm of ploughman: this thou tell'st me,
As true thou tell'st me, when I say I love her;
But, saying thus, instead of oil and balm,
Thou lay'st in every gash that love hath given me
The knife that made it.

I speak no more than truth.

Thou dost not speak so much.

Faith, I'll not meddle in't. Let her be
as she is: if she be fair, 'tis the better for her;
an she be not, she has the mends in her own hands.

Good Pandarus, how now, Pandarus!

I have had my labor for my travail;
ill-thought on of her and ill-thought on of
you; gone between and between, but small
thanks for my labour.

What, art thou angry, Pandarus? what, with me?

Because she's kin to me, therefore
she's not so fair as Helen: an she were not
kin to me, she would be as fair on Friday as
Helen is on Sunday. But what care I? I care
not an she were a black-a-moor; 'tis all one
to me.

Say I she is not fair?

I do not care whether you do or no.
She's a fool to stay behind her father; let her
to the Greeks: for my part, I'll meddle nor
make no more i' the matter.


Not I.

Sweet Pandarus,--

Pray you, speak no more to me: I
will leave all as I found it, and there an end. [Exit Pandarus. An alarum.

Peace, you ungracious clamors! peace, rude sounds!
Fools on both sides! Helen must needs be fair,
When with your blood you daily paint her thus.
I cannot fight upon this argument;
It is too starved a subject for my sword.
But Pandarus,--O gods, how do you plague me!
I cannot come to Cressid but by Pandar;
And he's as tetchy to be woo'd to woo,
100As she is stubborn-chaste against all suit.
Tell me, Apollo, for thy Daphne's love,
What Cressid is, what Pandar, and what we?
Her bed is India; there she lies, a pearl:
Between our Ilium and where she resides,
Let it be call'd the wild and wandering flood,
Ourself the merchant, and this sailing Pandar
Our doubtful hope, our convoy and our bark. Alarum.

How now, Prince Troilus! wherefore not afield?

Because not there: this woman's answer sorts,
110For womanish it is to be from thence.
What news, AEneas, from the field to-day?

That Paris returned home and hurt.

By whom, AEneas?

Troilus, by Menelaus.

Let Paris bleed: 'tis but a scar to scorn;
Paris is gored with Menelaus' horn. [Alarum.

Hark, what good sport is out of town to-day!

Better at home, if 'would I might' were 'may.'
But to the sport abroad: are you bound thither?

In all swift haste.

Come, go we then together. [Exeunt.

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