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SCENE IV

A room in DOCTOR CAIUS'S house.
Enter MISTRESS QUICKLY, SIMPLE, and RUGBY.

Quick.
What, John Rugby! I pray thee,
go to the casement, and see if you can see my
master, Master Doctor Caius, coming. If he
do, i' faith, and find any body in the house,
here will be an old abusing of God's patience
and the king's English.

Rug.
I'll go watch.

Quick.
Go; and we'll have a posset for't
soon at night, in faith, at the latter end of a
sea-coal fire. [Exit Rugby.] An honest, willing,
kind fellow, as ever servant shall come
in house withal, and, I warrant you, no tell-tale
nor no breed-bate: his worst fault is, that
he is given to prayer; he is something peevish
that way: but nobody but has his fault; but
let that pass. Peter Simple, you say your name is?

Sim.
Ay, for fault of a better.

Quick.
And Master Slender's your master?

Sim.
Ay, forsooth.

Quick.
Does he not wear a great round (21)
beard, like a glover's paring-knife?

Sim.
No, forsooth: he hath but a little wee
face, with a little yellow beard, a
Cain-colored beard.

Quick.
A softly-sprighted man, is he not?

Sim.
Ay, forsooth: but he is as tall a man
of his hands as any is between this and his
head; he hath fought with a warrener.

Quick.
How say you? O, I should remember
him: does he not hold up his head, as it (31)
were, and shut in his gait?

Sim.
Yes, indeed, does he.

Quick.
Well, heaven send Anne Page no
worse fortune! Tell Master Parson Evans I
will do what I can for your master: Anne is
a good girl, and I wish--
Re-enter RUGBY.

Rug.
Out, alas! here comes my master.

Quick.
We shall all be shent. Run in here,
good young man; go into this closet: he will
not stay long. [Shuts Simple in the closet.]
What, John Rugby! John! what, John, I say!
Go, John, go inquire for my master; I doubt (43)
he be not well, that he comes not home.
[Singing] And down, down, adown-a, &c.
Enter DOCTOR CAIUS.

Caius.
Vat is you sing? I do not like des
toys. Pray you, go and vetch me in my closet
un boitier vert, a box, a green-a box: do intend
vat I speak? a green-a box.

Quick.
Ay, forsooth; I'll fetch it you.
[Aside] I am glad he went not in himself: if
he had found the young man, he would have (52)
been horn-mad.

Caius.
Fe, fe, fe, fe! ma foi, il fait fort
chaud. Je m'en vais a la cour--la grande
affaire.

Quick.
Is it this, sir?

Caius.
Oui; mette le au mon pocket: depeche,
quickly. Vere is dat knave Rugby?

Quick.
What, John Rugby! John!

Rug.
Here, sir!

Caius.
You are John Rugby, and you are
Jack Rugby. Come, take-a your rapier, and (62)
come after my heel to the court.

Rug.
'Tis ready, sir, here in the porch.

Caius.
By my trot, I tarry too long. Od's
me! Qu'ai-j'oublie! dere is some simples in
my closet, dat I vill not for the varld I shall
leave behind.

Quick.
Ay me, he'll find the young man
there, and be mad!

Caius.
O diable, diable! vat is in my
closet? Villain! larron! [Pulling Simple out.] (72)
Rugby, my rapier!

Quick.
Good master, be content.

Caius.
Wherefore shall I be content-a?

Quick.
The young man is an honest man.

Caius.
What shall de honest man do in my
closet? dere is no honest man dat shall come
in my closet.

Quick.
I beseech you, be not so phlegmatic.
Hear the truth of it: he came of an errand to (81)
me from Parson Hugh.

Caius.
Vell.

Sim.
Ay, forsooth; to desire her to--

Quick.
Peace, I pray you.

Caius.
Peace-a your tongue. Speak-a your
tale.

Sim.
To desire this honest gentlewoman,
your maid, to speak a good word to Mistress
Anne Page for my master in the way of marriage.

Quick.
This is all, indeed, la! but I'll ne'er (91)
put my finger in the fire, and need not.

Caius.
Sir Hugh send-a you? Rugby, baille
me some paper. Tarry you a little-a while.
[Writes.

Quick.
[Aside to Simple.] I am glad he is
so quiet: if he had been throughly moved,
you should have heard him so loud and so
melancholy. But notwithstanding, man, I'll do
you your master what good I can: and the
very yea and the no is, the French doctor, my
master,--I may call him my master, look you,
for I keep his house; and I wash, wring, brew,
bake, scour, dress meat and drink, make the
beds, and do all myself,--

Sim.
[Aside to Quickly] 'Tis a great
charge to come under one body's hand.

Quick.
[Aside to Simple] Are you avised
o' that? you shall find it a great charge: and
to be up early and down late; but notwithstanding,
--to tell you in your ear; I would
have no words of it,--my master himself is in
love with Mistress Anne Page: but notwithstanding
that, I know Anne's mind,--that's neither
here nor there.

Caius.
You jack'nape, give-a this letter to
Sir Hugh; by gar, it is a shallenge: I will cut
his troat in de park; and I will teach a scurvy
jack-a-nape priest to meddle or make. You
may be gone; it is not good you tarry here.
By gar, I will cut all his two stones; by gar,
he shall not have a stone to throw at his dog.
[Exit Simple.

Quick.
Alas, he speaks but for his friend.

Caius.
It is no matter-a ver dat: do not
you tell-a me dat I shall have Anne Page for
myself? By gar, I vill kill de Jack priest; and
I have appointed mine host of de Jarteer to
measure our weapon. By gar, I will myself
have Anne Page.

Quick.
Sir, the maid loves you, and all
shall be well. We must give folks leave to
prate: what, the good-jer!

Caius.
Rugby, come to the court with me.
By gar, if I have not Anne Page, I shall turn
your head out of my door. Follow my heels,
Rugby. [Exeunt Caius and Rugby.

Quick.
You shall have An fool's-head of
your own. No, I know Anne's mind for that:
never a woman in Windsor knows more of
Anne's mind than I do: nor can do more than
I do with her, I thank heaven.

Fent.
[Within] Who's within there? ho!

Quick.
Who's there, I trow! Come near (141)
the house, I pray you.
Enter FENTON.

Fent.
How now, good woman! how dost
thou?

Quick.
The better that it pleases your good
worship to ask.

Fent.
What news? how does pretty Mistress
Anne?

Quick.
In truth, sir, and she is pretty, and
honest, and gentle; and one that is your
friend, I can tell you that by the way; I praise (151)
heaven for it.

Fent.
Shall I do any good, thinkest thou?
shall I not lose my suit?

Quick.
Troth, sir, all is in his hands
above: but notwithstanding, Master Fenton,
I'll be sworn on a book, she loves you. Have
not your worship a wart above your eye?

Fent.
Yes, marry, have I; what of that?

Quick.
Well, thereby hangs a tale: good
faith, it is such another Nan; but, I detest,
an honest maid as ever broke bread: we had
an hour's talk of that wart. I shall never laugh
but in that maid's company! But indeed she
is given too much to allicholy and musing:
but for you--well, go to.

Fent.
Well, I shall see her to-day. Hold,
there's money for thee; let me have thy voice
in my behalf: if thou seest her before me,
commend me.

Quick.
Will I? i' faith, that we will; and I
will tell your worship more of the wart the
next time we have confidence; and of other
wooers.

Fent.
Well, farewell; I am in great haste
now.

Quick.
Farewell to your worship.
[Exit Fenton.] Truly, an honest gentleman: but
Anne loves him not; for I know Anne's mind
as well as another does. Out upon't! what (180)
have I forgot? [Exit.

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