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Of the Nature of the Soile, and Other Incidents.

The Second Chapter.

THE soile is low and waterish, including diuerse little Ilands, inuironed with lakes & marrish. Highest hils haue standing pooles in their tops. Inhabitants especiallie new come, are subiect to distillations, rheumes and fluxes. For remedie whereof, they vse an ordinarie drinke of Aqua vitœ, being so qualified in the making, that it drieth more, and also inflameth lesse than other hot confections doo. One Theoricus wrote a proper treatise of Aqua vitœ, wherein he praiseth it vnto the ninth
Aqua vitæ. degrée. He distinguisheth thrée sorts thereof, Simplex, Composita. and Percectissima. Theoric. Episc. Hermenensis in Romanula iuxta Bononiam. He declareth the simples and ingrediences thereto belonging. He wisheth it to be taken as well before meat as after. It drieth up the breaking out of hands, and killeth the flesh wormes, if you wash your hands therewith. It scowreth all The commodities of Aqua vitæ. scurfe & scalds from the head, being therewith dailie washt before meales. Being moderatlie taken (saith he) it sloweth age, it strengthneth youth, it helpeth digestion, it cutteth flegme, it abandoneth melancholie, it relisheth the heart, it lighteneth the mind, it quickeneth the spirits, it cureth the hydropsie, it healeth the strangurie, it pounceth the stone, it expelleth grauell, it puffeth awaie all ventositie, it kéepeth and preserueth the head from whirling, the eies from dazeling, the toong from lisping, the mouth from maffling, the teeth from chattering, and the throte from ratling: it kéepeth the weasan from stifling, the stomach from wambling, and the heart from swelling, the bellie from wirtching, the guts from crumbling, the hands from shiuering, & the sinewes from shrinking, the veines from crumpling, the bones from aking, & the marrow from soaking. Vlstadius also ascribeth thereto Vlst. in cœlo philos. vel de secret. nat. cap. 11. a singular praise, and would haue it to burne being kindled, which he taketh to be a token to know the goodnesse thereof. And trulie it is a souereigne liquor, if it be orderlie taken.

The aire is verie holesome, not generallie so cleare and subtill as that of England. The weather is more temperat, being not so warme in summer, nor cold in winter, as it is in England and Flanders. The countrie is stored with bees, contrarie to the opinion of some writers, who both in this and other errors, touching this countrie, may easilie be excused, as those that wrote by hearesaie. No vineyards, yet grapes grow there as in England. They doo lacke the Robucke, as Polychronicon writeth. Poly. lib. 1. cap. 32. They also lacke the bird called the pie. Howbeit in the English pale to this daie, they vse to tearme a slie cousener, a wilie pie. Giraldus Cambrensis in his time Wilie pie. Camb. part. 1. dist. 3. No venemous worms in Ireland. complaineth, that Ireland had excesse of wood, & verie little champaine ground; but now the English pale is too naked: turffe is their most fewell and seacole. venemous creeping beast is brought forth, or nourished, or can liue in Ireland, being brought or sent. And therefore the spider of Ireland is well knowne not to be venemous, onelie because a frog was found lieng in the medowes of Waterford Camb. part. 1. dist. 1. somewhat before the conquest, they construed it to import their ouerthrow.

Bede writeth, that serpents conucied into Ireland did presentlie die, being touched Bed. lib. 1. Angl. Hist. cap. 1. with the smell of the land, that whatsoeuer came from Ireland was then of souereigne vertue against poison. He exemplifieth in certeine men, stung of adders, who dranke in water the scrapings of bookes that had béene of Ireland, and were cured. Generallie it is obserued, the further west, the lesse annoiance of pestilent cretures. The want whereof is to Ireland so peculiar, that whereas it laie long in question, to whether realme, Britaine or Ireland, the Ile of Man should apperteine The controuersie of the Ile of Man decided. the said controuersie was decided, that for somuch as venemous beasts were knowen to bréed therein, it could not be a naturall part of Ireland. And contrariwise, the Orchades appendant to Ireland. Hector Boet. in Scot. reg. descrip. pag. 9. Sect. 50. Camb. topo. lib. 1. dist. 1. rub. 29. Orchades are adiudged to be appendant to Ireland, because those Ilands, neither bréed nor foster anie venemous worme, as Hector Boetius auoucheth. Giraldus Cambrensis writeth that he heard certeine merchants affirme, that when they had vnladen their ships in Ireland they found by hap some toads vnder their balast. And they had no sooner cast them on the shore, than they would puffe and swell vnmeasurablie, & shortlie after turning vp their bellies, they would burst in sunder. And not onelie the earth and dust of Ireland, but also the verie thongs of Irish leather haue the verie same force and vertue. I haue séene it, saith Cambrensis, Cam. ibid. rub. 30. 31. experimented, that a toad being incompassed with a thong of Irish leather, and créeping thitherward, indeuoring to haue skipt ouer it, suddenlie reculed backe, as Irish leather expelleth venemous wormes. though it had béene rapt in the head: wherevpon it began to sprall to the other side. But at length perceiuing that the thong did embaie it of all parts, it began to thirle, and as it were to dig the earth, where finding an hole, it slunke awaie in the presence of sundrie persons.

It happened also in my time, saith Giraldus Cambrensis, that in the north of Cambr. in codem loco. England a knot of yongkers tooke a nap in the fields: as one of them laie snorting with his mouth gaping, as though he would haue caught flies, it happened that a snake or adder slipt into his mouth, and glided downe into his bellie, where harboring it selfe, it began to roame vp and downe, and to féede on the yoong man his entrals. The patient being sore distracted and aboue measure tormented with the biting pangs of this gréedie ghest, incessantlie praied to God, that if it stood with his gratious will, either wholie to bereaue him of his life, or else of his vnspeakeable mercie to ease him of his paine. The worme would neuer ceasse from gnawing the patient his carcasse, but when he had taken his repast, and his meat was no sooner digested, than it would giue a fresh onset in boring his guts. Diuerse remedies were sought, and medicins, pilgrimages to saints, but all could not preuaile. Being at length schooled by the graue aduise of some sage and expert father, that willed him to make his spéedie repaire to Ireland, would tract no time, but busked himselfe ouer sea, and arriued in Ireland. He did no sooner drinke of the water of that Iland, and taken of the vittels of Ireland, but forthwith he kild the snake, auoided it downeward, and so being lustie and liuelie he returned into England. Thus far Giraldus Cambrensis.

There be some that moue question, whether the want of venemous wormes be to Whether venemous wormes were expelled Ireland through the praiers of saint Patrike. be imputed to the propertie of the soile, or to be ascribed to the praiers of saint Patrike, who conuerted that Iland. The greater part father it on saint Patrike, especiallie such as write his life aswell apart, as in the legend of Irish saints. Giraldus Cambrensis disaffirmeth flatlie that opinion, and taketh it to be a secret or hidden propertie naturallie vnited to the soile, from whom Polychronicon dooth Polycbr. lib. 1. cap. 32. not swarue. For my part as I am wedded to neither of both the opinions, so I would haue béene easilie persuaded, being neither hot nor cold in the matter, to rest as a lukewarme neuter, in omitting the one and the other vnskand, were it not that one maister Alan Cope, or some other that masketh vnder his visours, more slanderouslie than pithilie had busied himselfe therein. Wherefore, sith I may with better warrant defend my natiue countrie, than he or his betters may reprooue it, especiallie where his slanderous reports are vnderpropt with flim flam surmises: I purpose vnder maister Cope his correction to cope and buckle with him herein: and before he beare the ball to the goale, to trip him if I may in the way. And because (gentle reader) I mind to make thée an indifferent vmpier in this controuersie, for the better vnderstanding of the matter, I will laie downe maister Cope his words, in such wise as they are imprinted in his booke. First therefore thou must vnderstand, that his booke is made in dialog wise, a kind of writing as it is vsed, so commended of the learned. In these dialogs Irenæus an Englishman and Critobulus a Germane plaie the parts. Irenæus entreth into the stage, and in this wise beginneth.

"Incipiam à sancto Paulo: nosti in Melita (quam hodie Maltam appellant) Alan Copus dialog. 3. acd. 28. Paulum viperam à manu pendentem in ignem excussisse. In ea insula scorpiones, qui alibi eunt lætales, Pauli, vt creditur, munere sunt innoxij.

"Critobulus. Fortasse hoc habet à natura.

"Irenœus. Falleris: nam insulani, vt Lucas refert, clamabant, delatum eò parricidam, cui cùm mare pepercisset, irati dij serpentes, qui eum tollerent, immisissent: nec quicquam magis quàm præsentem eius mortem expectabant. A qua cùm ille tantùm abesset, vt nihil omnino damni aut doloris inde sentiret, in admirationem acti, dixerunt, eum longè supra hominem esse, & deum sub humana specie.

"Critobulus. Sic est, vt dicis.

"Irenœus. Cætera itaque audi. E specu, ad quem diuertisse dicitur, colliguntur lapides in tota fermè Europa salutares Adhæc, quos nasci octauo calendas Februarij contingit (qui dies conuersionis eius memoriæ, dicatus est) quæcunque eos orbis pars in lucem proferat, non horrent nec formidant angues, imò, quod magis est, sola saliua horum morsibus medentur. Id quod homo doctissimus & diligentissimus Thomas Fazellus nuper prodidit, vsu ipso rerum, & certis, ni fallor, exemplis ab eo Thomas Fazellus. obseruatum.

"Critobulus. Ista quidem digna sunt obseruatione: & iam recordor, me legisse ac sæpiùs audisse, precibus beati Patricij Hiberniæ apostoli, ei regioni simile beneficium indultum, ne ca insula aliquid lætale pariat. Dici fortassè inde à nonnullis solet, nihil esse in Hibernia venenati præter ipsos homines, quod propter feros & agrestes eorum mores dictum à plerisque accipitur.

"Irenœus. Eam regionem nihil pestiferum aut venenatum alere, tum ex multorum sermonibus, tum ex Beda intelligo: adèo vt terra illius regionis exportata, Bed. lib. 1. Ang. bist. c. 1. pestifera ac venenata animalia extinguat. Verùm id quicquid est, non Patricio, sed naturæ regionis tribuo, propterea quòd longè antè Patricium natum constet, Sententia definitiua Solin. cap. 35. eam fuisse eius regionis óotem, quam non est difficile alibi reperiri."

"I will begin (saith Irenæus) with saint Paule. You know that in Melita (which at this daie is called Malta) saint Paule flung into the fire a viper that stucke or did cleaue to his hand. In that Iland scorpions which are elsewhere deadlie or venemous, are become through the gift of saint Paule (as it is supposed) harmelesse.

"Tush (quoth Critobulus) that may be percase incident to the nature of the soile.

"Naie then (replieth Irenæus) you are in a wrong box. For the Ilanders (as saint Luke mentioneth) showted, that a parentquellor was brought thither, and because he was not swallowed in the gulfes of the sea, the gods being in their fustian fumes, sent serpents to slaie him. And they looked for nothing sooner than to see him euen at a twinkling to perish. But when they perceiued him to be so farre distant from death, as that he susteined no harme, ne felt anie paine, the people therewith amazed, said he far surpassed mans estate, & that he was a god inuested in man his shape.

"You haue reason (answereth Critobulus) you haue hit the naile on the head.

"Yea but I praie you clip not my tale (saith Irenæus) but take me with you. Stones are culled in the caue or den wherein saint Paule is said to haue baited or soiorned, which stones in maner in all Europe are souereigne medicines to cure the bitings and stinges of scorpions and serpents. Furthermore, they that are borne the fiue and twentith of Januarie (which daie is named the conuersion of S. Paule) in what part soeuer of the world they are borne, they feare not or grudge not at snakes: yea, that which is more to be admired, the stingings of poisoned worms are healed by the verie spittle of this Januarie brood. Which thing hath béene of late published by a well lettered man Thomas Fazellus, to haue béene curiouslie noted of him, as well by proofe and experience, as by sure and substantiall examples, if I take not the matter amisse.

"Then commeth in Critobulus, whome maister Cope maketh (I will not saie the vice or hicscorner) but the plesant conceipted gentleman of this enterlude, and fetcheth a long leape (for I am sure he could not iumpe so farre) from Malta to Ireland, and frameth his tale in this sort. By the faith of my bodie sir, here is stuffe woorth the noting. And now I call to mind, that I haue read and often heard, that the like benefit hath béene imparted to Ireland, through the praiers of saint Patrike the apostle of the said Iland, that is to saie, that Ireland breedeth no venemous worme. And therevpon percase some are accustomed to saie, that there is no poisoned or venemous thing in Ireland, but onelie the people, which is taken to haue beene said of most men for their brutish and sauage maners.

"To this (saith Irenæus) I am doone to vnderstand by the report of diuerse, and also by Bede, that no poisoned or venemous thing is bred in that realme: in somuch that the verie earth of that countrie being brought into other realmes, killeth all venemous and poisoned wormes." But let the matter fall out which waie Judgement. it will; I ascribe that propertie not to saint Patrike, but to the nature of the soile, because it hath béen knowen long before saint Patrike was borne, that Ireland was indued with that propertie, which is elsewhere easie to be found. Hitherto Maister Cope.

In this discourse (gentle reader) thou seest that Maister Cope handleth two principall points, the propertie of Malta, and the nature of Ireland in destroieng venemous worms, the one he ascribeth to the blessed apostle saint Paule, the other he will not in anie wise impute to saint Patrike. Touching the first, as I have no occasion to intermeddle therein, so I purpose not for the quarell I haue to the person, to disproove his opinion so farre as it standeth with truth. Wherefore that God that of his bountifull goodnesse gaue the grace to Moses, to turne Aarons rod into a Exod. c. 7. verse 10. a) Iosu c. 10. verse 13. b) 3. Reg. 17. verse 22, and Eccles. 48. verse 50. serpent, to turne the riuer into bloud, and to worke diuerse other effects that are mentioned in the scripture; to (a) Josue, to staie the sun; to (b) Elias to raise the dead child; to (c) Peter to make the lame go; to heale (d) Eneas; to reuiue c) Act 3. ver. 7. d) Act 9. ver. 34. e) Act 9. vers. 40. f) Act 5. vers. 13. g) Act 14 verse 10. h) Act 20 verse 10 & 11. i) Act 27 verse 23. Act. 9 vers. 43. Act. 28 verse 9. (e) Tabitha; yea with his verie (f) shadow to cure the sicke; and the God that gaue to that Paule, of whome maister Cope speaketh, his gratious gift to make the (g) lame go; to (h) quicken and raise the deceased, and for his sake to (i) salue his fellow passengers: it is not to be denied, but that God would impart his goodnes to anie region, euen the sooner that any of his blessed seruants would harborough there. And as I doubt not but Simon the tanners house was nothing the woorse for lodging so happie a ghest as Peter: so I am sure Malta was farre the better for harboring so blessed a traueller or passenger as Paule. Which S. Luke letteth not to sell, declaring that all they which were sicke in the Iland, flocked to Paule, and were cured; and also the patient that was father to Publius, in whose house they were thrée daies, verie courteouslie interteined, was by S. Paule healed. Which cure as well of that patient, as of the residue of the Ilanders, did not onlie extend to their bodies, but chéeflie & especiallie to their soules, according to the opinion of the learned diuines. For as our sauior Iesus Christ was neuer thought to cure Augu. tract 30 in Iohan. Th. p. 3 q. 44. a. 3 ad. 3 m. anie ones bodie, but he would also heale his soule: so it must be thought of his apostles, in whose steps both in life and miracles they traced. And therfore the learned hold opinion, that S. Paule being in Malta expelled from diuerse of their soules the old serpent that deceiued our progenitors Adam and Eue; for which God is to be Gen. 3 vers. 13. magnified and glorified. Thus much I thought good here to insert, as a clause not wholie swaruing from that we treat of, and also that I would be found prest and readie, as farre as my simple skill stretcheth, to vnderstand anie opinion that tendeth to the honor and glorie of God.

Howbeit forsomuch as M. Cope hath so strictlie dealt with Ireland, as with a countrie nothing apperteining to this matter, I trust he will pardon me, to be somewhat bold with him, touching the historie of Malta, that as his negligence shall be in the one disshrowed, so his slanderous iudgement maie be in the other reuersed. First therfore where he writeth, that the inhabitants of Malta Clamabant, that is, cried, or showted, it was not so. The Gréeke text runneth, ἔλεγον πρὸς ἀλλήλθς, Dicebant ad inuicem, that is to saie, they muttered one to an other. And saint Luke Act. 28. vers. 4. paraphraseth his meaning after. For when they perceiued that the viper did not annoie Paule, then saith saint Luke, Conuertentes se, dicebant eum esse deum; They turning the one towards the other, whispered or muttered that Paule was a god. Now put the case they cried, as M. Cope saith, is it like that Paule was so Saint Paule heard not the inhabitants of Malta. busie in making of a fire, or that his eares did wander so farre off, as that he could not heare them? And if he heard them, thinke you that he would haue beene whist, in hearing God so farre blasphemed, as that he would suffer himselfe to be defied? No trulie. He would haue taken on, as he and Barnabas did at Listris, Act. 14. vers. 11, 12, 13, 14. where the inhabitants named them gods, Barnabas to be Iupiter, and Paule, for that he was well spoken, to be Mercurie. For when the apostles heard of their idolatrie, renting their clothes, they rusht into the throng, crieng and speaking, that they were mortall men, &c. In which place S. Luke putteth an expresse difference as it were of set purpose, betwéene both the words, Clamantes & dicentes. M. Cope addeth further, Delatum eò parricidam, and yet the Gréeke hath πάντως φονευς, Omninò interfector, or as the vulgar text is, Vtique bomicida est homo hie. So that they tooke him to be but a manquellor, yet M. Cope maketh him a parricide, which is woorse. For although euerie parricide be a manquellor, yet E conuerso, euerie manquellor is not a parricide.

M. Cope procéedeth further, "Irati dij, serpentes, qui eum tollerent, immisissent: The gods being angrie sent serpents to dispatch Paule." And yet forsooth, all these serpents were but one viper, as is plainelie exprest in the text, vnlesse. M. Cope would teach saint Luke to tell his tale after the finest fashion, least the apostle should haue béene thought to haue fitoned. As the parson that preached to his parishoners A parson his sermon. of the gospell, wherein mention is made of them that Christ fed in the desert, or wildernesse. O (quoth the parson) what a Christ was that, that with fiue barlie loaues, and fiue fishes fed fiue hundred persons. The clerke hearing his master to grate ouerlong on that point, for he did often iterate that sentence, stole up to the pulpit, and plucking the parson by his gowne, whispered in his eare that Christ fed fiue thousand. Hold thee contented thou foolish fellow (quoth the parson) if I should tell mine hearers of so great a number, I should but discredit the gospeller, and they would not beléeve me. So it fareth with M. Cope. Belike he mistrusted, that if he had said, that one viper could haue slaine Paule, the reader would haue suspected the vntruth of the matter: bicause it carrieth great likelihood with it, that one man could withstand one viper: and therefore to saue saint Luke his credit, he increaseth the number by putting the plurall for the singular. Whereas therefore it standeth with M. Cope his pleasure, to florish in his rhetoricall figure M. Cope his rhetorike. named, Veritatis superlatio, in terming muttering, showting, a manquellor, a parricide, one viper, serpents: he must be borne withall, if in the heat of his figure he step a little awrie in the remnant of his discourse. For thus he saith.

And therevpon it is reported percase by some men, that there is nothing venemous or poisoned in Ireland, but the men and women. Which is taken to haue beene spoken by most men for their brutish and sauage maners. Here (good reader) thou must vnderstand that M. Cope putteth the text downe and the glose. The text is, There is nothing in Ireland venemous but the inhabitants. The glose is, This is said to haue béen spoken for their brutish and sauage conditions. Now well harpt by saint Lankfield. Here is a glose, I vndertake you, sutable to the text. But let vs sée, how cunninglie M. Cope beequiteth himselfe. First he obserueth not Decorum personœ, secondlie he followeth not Decorum dialogi, thirdlie he sheweth herein little diuinitie. Touching the first point, who knoweth not, that these iapes and gibes are onelie fit for ruffians, vices, swashbucklers & tospots. And trulie they beeset a diuine as well, as for an asse to twang quipassa on a harpe or gitterne, or for an ape to friske trenchmoore in a paire of buskins and a doublet. The heathen Cic. lib. 2. de orat. misliked in an orator squirilitie, what should be thought then of a diuine, whome saint Paule would haue to be sober, modest, graue, and wise? Vnlesse M. Cope Tim. 3. vers. 2. & 3. leaning to the letter of saint Paule his words would beare vs in hand, that saint Paule would haue modestie to rest onelie in bishops. We are commanded in the old and new testament, to loue our neighbors as our selues Which dooth implie, that we ought not to slander our neighbours.

And shall a diuine then speake vncharitablie, not onelie of one, but of an whole realme, and not onelie speake but also write, yea and that in the language that is vniuersallie spoken, thoroughout the greater part of the world, vpon no sure ground, but onelie vpon hearesaie, weieng not what the prophet writeth, Perdes omnes qui Psal. 5. ver. 7. Sapient 1. Vide August. in cundem Psal. loquuntur mendaciū. Thou shalt destroie all them that speake vntruths? And were it that anie such flim flam flirts were soothed by anie person of credit; yet (as me seemeth) it would stand more with the grauitie of a diuine, than such childish quips, and scornefull tawnts should sooner by his meanes charitablie be whisted, than thorough his procurement carpinglie published. I will stand no longer on this Mattb. 5. vers. 22. point, but onelie craue M. Cope to resort to the fift of Matthew, and there peruse Christ his verdict touching slanderous toongs. To come to the seeond part, in which he obserueth not Decorum dialogi, thou shalt vnderstand (good reader) that Critabulus, or Critobulus, whome M. Cope maketh his bagpipe to belch out his rancour, is a Germane borne, as M. Cope saith, who séemeth to be Critabulus his godfather. Now let anie one, that is acquainted with the maners of Germans, iudge, if it be decent, that one of them should scoffe and scorne the conditions and fashions of other countries. I will not speake by heare saie, as M. Cope dooth, but by eiesight. I could neuer espie nor probablie haue I heard it reported, no not of the méere sauage Irish, such quaffing, such swilling, such bolling, such gulling, such brutish drunkennesse, such surfetting, such vomitting, as I haue seene some Germans doo. In good sooth it is knowne, and for my part I haue seene it being The German his friendship. beyond the seas, that in their carowsing and cup friendship, they threaten such kindnesse on their companions, that least their felowes should mistrust them with double dealing, they will not sticke to shew them the bottome of their stomachs; & to the end they should take the better view thereof, they will place it now and then in their neighbors bosome.

Thus when they haue cast their gorges, they clap on their thrumd hats, and run like bedlem barretors into the stréets with their naked flatchets, and there they keepe such a stinking sturre with hacking of stones, with hewing of blocks, with thwitting of stocks, with striking of stalles, with thumping at doores, that it would make a horsse breake his halter, to see so drunken a pageant. In fine, this qualitie is so naturallie ingraffed in the greater part of them, that a famous diuine did not sticke of late to saie openlie in his lecture, than drunkennesse in that countrie man, was either Peccatum originale or Accidens inseparabile. I write not this (I take God to record) to the reproch or slander of that countrie (being loth to commit the selfe same fault that I reprehend in anie other) but onelie my meaning is to settle before the reader his eies the absurditie of M. Cope, in framing poore Critabolus to flout Ireland, considering that if he cast his eie homeward, he shall find as filthie puddle in his owne countrie, as in other realms. And therefore this quip sat as vnseemlie in his mouth, as for an whoore to reprehend bitcherie, or for an vsurer to condemne simonie. For as there is nothing lesse to be tollerated, than for anie one to haue an other to account for his life, that can yeeld no account of his owne: so there is nothing that ought to moozzell vp anie one from rebuking other nations, than to sée the misdemeanor of his owne natiue countrie. I would wish M. Critabolus or M. Cope, if it shall please him to make vp the muster, with indifferencie to weie the estate of Ireland, and so without parcialitie to frame his iudgement.

Ireland, and especiallie the ruder part is not stored with such learned men as Ireland how it maie be reformed. Germanie is. If they had sound preachers, and sincere liuers, that by the imbalming of their carian soules with the swéet and sacred flowers of holie writ, would instruct them in the feare of God, in obeieng their prince, in obseruing the lawes, in vnderpropping in ech man his vocation the weale publike; I doubt not, but within two or thrée ages M. Critabolus his heires should heare so good a report run of the reformation of Ireland, as it would be reckoned as ciuill as the best part of Germanie. Let the soile be as fertile and betle as anie would wish, yet if the husbandman will not manure it, sometime plow and eare it, sometime harrow it, sometime till it, sometime marle it, sometime delue it, sometime dig it, and sow it with good and sound corne, it will bring foorth wéeds, bindcorne, cockle, darnell, brambles, briers, and sundrie wild shoots. So it fareth with the rude inhabitants of Ireland, they lacke vniuersities, they want instructors, they are destitute of teachers, they are without preachers, they are deuoid of all such necessaries as apperteine to the training vp of youth: and notwithstanding all these wants, if anie would be so frowardlie set, as to require them, to vse such ciuilitie, as other regions, that are sufficientlie furnished with the like helps; he might be accounted as vnreasonable, as he that would force a créeple that lacketh both his legs to run, or one to pipe or whistle a galiard that wanteth his vpper lip.

But such is the corrupt nature of vs worldlings, and me thinketh such vaine humors are not vtterlie dried vp in our sage and mortified diuines. We are most commonlie giuen rather to tawnt that which is amisse, than to praise that which is good; and rather we follow the spider in soking the poison, than in imitating the bée by sucking the honie. Now that it appeareth, that it was not fitting for the author being a diuine, to write so vncharitablie, nor for M. Critabolus being a Germane to carpe other countries so snappishlie: let vs see what wholesome diviaitie hath beene here vttered, and how well the sinewes of M. Critabolus his argument shall be found to hang togither, when the anatomie therof by peecemeale shall be examined. I call to mind (quoth M. Critabolus) that I have read and often heard, that the like benefit hath béene granted to Ireland through the praiers of S. Patrike. M. Critabolus read & heard that by the praiers of S. Patrike, Ireland hath no venemous worme: Ergo some hold opinion, that the poison resteth onlie in the people. Truly this argument hangeth togither by verie strange gimbols. And I dare say, M. Cope neuer learned this kind of reasoning in the famous college of Magdalene in Oxford, whatsoeuer M. Critabulus did in Germanie. But let vs put the logike apart, & scan the singular point of diuinitie. I would gladlie lerne in what part of scripture or in what ancient father M. Critabulus read or heard (for most of his learning hath beene, as it seemeth, purchased by heare-saie) that anie holie prelat, that came of meere charitie to conuert a countrie from night to light, from rudenesse to knowledge, from infidelitie to christianitie, from vice to vertue, from the diuell to God (which dooth implie an especiall zeale in saluing their soules) would purge the soile of all venemous wormes, & leaue the soules that haue more néed to be wéeded, wholie infected with the contagion of vice and sinne. Wherby insueth that the place is better than the inhabitants, and so consequentlie the saieng of the Machabées must be falsified: Non propter locum gentem, sed propter 2. Mac. 5. ver. 19. gentem locum Deus elegit: God did not choose the people for the place, but he elected the place in respect of the people. Our sauiour Iesus Christ dipossessing Luc. 8. ver. 32. the patient of the legion of diuels, permitted them to enter into an heard of hogs. Critabulus would haue Christs saints doo the contrarie, to dispossesse the hogs, and to leaue the men possessed with diuels. For so he reporteth saint Patrike to haue doone, by ridding the land of all poisoned wormes, & leauing the rancour to lurke in the people. Trulie if the matter stood so farre out of ioint, I doubt not, but the Ilanders might haue come as lawfullie to him, as the Gergesens came Luc. 2. ver. 37. ingratefullie to Christ, requiring him to depart their countrie. For such a scoffing prelat, his roome had béene better than his companie, sith his abode would tend rather to the peruerting, than the conuerting of their Iland.

Hitherto thou hast heard (gentle reader) how gallantlie Critabulus hath plaied his part: now shall I desire thée to view how sagelie Ireneus claspeth up all the whole controuersie. He saith it is the nature of the soile, not to breed anie venemous worme, and that was incident thereto before saint Patrike was borne. How prooue you that sir? Pleaseth you to skew your eie towards the margent, and there shall you find the fiue and thirtith chapter of Solinus solemnlie quoted. Touching this matter, there is nothing in Solinus but this; Illic anguis nullus, auis rara, In Ireland is no snake, and seldome a bird, & yet birds are as commonlie there as in anie other countrie. But I would gladlie vnderstand how this authoritie of Solinus furthereth M. Ireneus his opinion. Ireland bred no snake before saint Patrike was borne. Ergo it ingendred no toad, no adder, no frog, nor anie other virulent worme. As if a man would reason thus: Before saint Patrike his time there was no horssemill in Ireland: Ergo before his time there was no milhorsse. Certes he that would wind vp his conclusion so fondlie, might be thought to haue as much wit as a rosted horse. This authoritie of Solinus is so far from vpholding Ireneus his assertion, as that it plainelie séemeth quite to ouerthrow it, & as it were in his owne turne, it giueth him a fall.

For the cause whie saint Patrike was mooued to expell all the venemous wormes out of Ireland, might probablie haue béene coniectured, to haue proceeded of this; that he perceiuing the land to bréed no snakes, therof was occasioned, for the furthering of christian faith, to expell other kind of wormes that lurked there before his comming, as toades, adders, blindworms, frogs, &c. Héere perchase M. Cope Objection. may blench me, in replieng that Anguis may be construed generallie for all kind of vermine, and so I might be taken tardie in building my discourse vpon a misconstruction.

In good sooth to omit what strange and absurd signification Anguis should beare, Answer. by notifieng a poisoned spider and such like, and in mine opinion further from the purpose, than the father that dissuading his sonne from plaieng on sundaie, fortified his reason with the old said saw, Non est bonum ludere cum sanctis, It is not good, quoth he, to plaie on sundaies or holie daies. Is it (thinke you) fellonie or treason, to bring the credit of Solinus in question, for mistaking Anguis aswell as Auis ? For as he was groslie deceiued in the one, in writing that birds were rare in Ireland; so might he haue straied as likelie in the other, by disburdening Ireland of all venemous wormes, bicause the Iland wanted in his time but one or two kinds, as a snake and a toad. Where a man buildeth vpon euerie twatling and pratling rumor, and Rumor catcheth fethers. his eie is not his iudge, he may be sure, that such flieng tales will catch manie feathers before they come at him that is as far distant from their nests, as Solinus was from Ireland when he wrote his pamphlet. The proofe whereof as it is dailie tried, so not manie yeares past hath beene verie pretilie verefied. There was a gentleman of mine acquaintance that met his enimie in the fields, where they both vpon a trifling quarell fought so fréendlie, as they had more néed to haue beene grapled togither with cables, than parted by indifferent sticklers. Howbeit, bicause the gentleman was neuer before flesht, and yet nothing at all that daie, for each of their blowes did commonlie light on the medow where they fought; a friend of his reported well of him to an other, saieng, that he was like in time to prooue a proper man of his hands, for the well handling of his weapon in his late combat. Wherevpon soon after, the other doubling the gentleman his praise, gaue notice to an other, that such a gentleman (naming him) fought valiantlie such a daie in such a place. Immediatlie vpon this in a shire or two off, it was noised that the partie praised, fought with two at once in such a place, naming the medow. At length it was bruted, that he fought foure seuerall daies; and I am well assured that was the first fraie that euer he made, and I thinke it will be the last, vnlesse he be forced maugre his heart to the contrarie.

Not long after it happened, that a gentleman and I trauelled abroad the countrie of set purpose to disport our selues, and so to returne afresh to our books, where entering in communication with a blunt countrie lob (yet such an one as tooke his halfepenie to be good siluer) that knew the foresaid champion. My companion and I made wise, as though we were not acquainted with him, or euer heard of the combat: Now in good faith gentleman (quoth he) you would doo verie well to A fréendlie commendation. enter in acquaintance with him; for ouer this, that he is a gentleman abundantlie endued with singular good qualities, he is become of late so valiant a cutter, as he maketh blading his dailie breakefast. By saint Marie, quoth my companion, that is verie cold roste, and if his breakefasts be no better than a peece of cold yron, I little weigh how seldome I take a repast in his companie at anie such ordinarie. Naie, my meaning is (quoth the other) that he vseth to fight fresh and fasting euerie morning, in so much that of late, I dare bide by it, he fought eight daies in one weeke. At which words I for my part could not refraine from laughing, séeing how demurelie the fellow kept his countenance, and how that he spake Bona fide. Wherevpon I shaped him an answer and said, that I neuer heard of anie that fought eight daies in one weeke, but onelie in old time, when fiue quarters made vp the yeare.

The fellow perceiuing that he ouershot himselfe, replied: Sir, you take me verie short, as long and as verie a lowbie as you imagine to make me: my meaning is, that he fought eight seuerall times in one weeke. Eight times (quoth my companion) then belike he fought once aboue commons. For you told vs right now, that he made his fraie his morning breakefast, and whereas there are but seauen daies in the wéeke, & he fought (as you report) eight times, and you know that eight maketh one aboue seauen, and seauen maketh six and one vnder eight; either you must confesse that he fought out his breakfast, dinner, beuer or supper; or else you must grant that there be eight daies in one wéeke, or at the least two breakefasts in one daie: and that I am sure you will confesse to be as great an absurditie as the other. Naie (quoth the clowne) and you intrap me with such sophistrie, you shall dine, sup and breake your fast alone for me, and therewithall departed. Wherby may be gathered, that if he had bin soothed vp, & his toong let run at libertie vncontrold, like a bowle that runneth in a smooth allie without anie rub, he would haue brought himselfe to that baie, as he would not sticke to saie that his fréend had fought eight daies in one houre. Wherefore as this pudding his pricke grew at length by report to an huge post, so the want of one venemous worme in Ireland, being bruted in forren realmes, might haue beene so thwitted and mangled in the cariage before it came to Solinus his eares, as he might haue beene informed, that the countrie was deuoid of all venemous woormes, whereas indéed there lacked but one kind.

Like as God of his iustice punisheth a countrie that is hardhearted, with outward wormes: so of his mercie they are remooued from a realme that is pliant to follow his lawes and precepts. As when Pharao would not listen to God his threats Exod. 8. vers. 7, 17, & 24. Vide Apoc. 9. verse 3, at 2. Reg. 8. verse 37. denounced him by the preachers of God, Moses and Aaron, Egypt was punished with frogs and diuerse kind of flies, as is exprest at full in holie writ: and againe vpon Pharao his feined promises (the secrers of whose hollow heart God perfectlie knew) at the instance of Moses, these plagues were appeased, and the vermine quite extinguished: so I praie you, is it so absurd a position to hold, that saint Patrike finding the Irish priest to embrace the gospell, as he did in verie deed, might stand so highlie in God his fauor, as through his earnest petition made to God, the poisoned woormes should be abandoned ? This is not so rare a thing vpon the implanting of christian faith in anie region, but rather a propertie incident thereto, according to Christ his promise: "Signa autem eos, qui crediderint, hæc sequentur; Gregor. bom. 29. in euang. In nomine meo dæmonia eijcient: linguis loquentur nouis: serpentes tollent: & si mortiferum quid biberint, non eis nocebit: super ægros manus impouent, & bene habebunt" And these tokens shall follow them that beléeve; In my name shall Mar. 16. v. 17. they cast out diuels, they shall speake with new toongs, they shall driue awaie serpents, and if they drinke anie deadlie thing it shall not hurt them: they shall laie hands on the sicke, and they shall be cured. Wherefore, sith it is so euidentlie warranted by scripture, that in the name of Iesus, serpents may be driuen awaie, if Ireland be found through anie such means to be deuoid of poisoned wormes, we are to ascribe the glorie hereof to God, according to the saieng of the prophet; "A domino factum est istud, & est mirabile in oculis nostris," That hath béene Psalm. 117, verse 22. doone by God, and it séemeth woonderfull in our eies.

Thus farre (gentle reader) incroching vpon thy patience, I haue imploied my trauell in defending my natiue countrie against such as labour to distaine it with their slanderous scoffes. Touching the principall question, whether S. Patrike did expell poisoned wormes out of Ireland, or whether it be the nature of the soile, as I said in the entrie of this discourse; so I saie againe, that I weigh not two chips which waie the wind bloweth, bicause I sée no inconuenience that may insue either of the affirmatiue or negatiue opinion. And therefore if M. Cope had dealt as modestlie as Cambrensis, the author of Polychronicon or others, that stood to the deniall, haue doone; he should haue gone scotfree with his complices, and haue made in mounterbankwise the most he could of his wares. But for that he would needs sée further in a milstone than others, and not onelie slanderlie disprooue the triuiall opinion, but scornefullie slander an whole realme, wherein he shall find his superiors in honour, his betters in parentage, his peeres in learning, his mates in wisdome, his equals in courtesie, his matches in honestie: I must craue him to beare it patientlie, if by crieng him quittance, I serued him with a dish of his owne cookerie. And if for this my streict dealing with him (wherevnto I was the sooner led, for that as it is courtesie to mollifie wild speaches with mild answers, so I reckon it for good policie now and then to cleaue knurd knobs with crabbed wedges) he will séeme to take pepper in the nose, for anie recompense he is like to haue at mine hands, he may wipe his nose on his sléeue. And if it shall stand with his pleasure, to replie either in English or in Latine (the occasion of which is rather of him growne than by me giuen) he shall find me willing, if God spare me health, to reioine with him in so good a quarrell, either in the one language or the other: and when both tales are heard, I beshrow him, for my part, that shall be driuen to the wall.

Cambrensis reporteth of his owne knowledge, and I heare it auowed by credible persons, that barnacles thousands at once are noted along the shores in Ireland to The barnacle. hang by the beakes, about the edges of putrified timber, as ships, oares, masts, anchor holds, and such like, which in processe taking liuelie heat of the sunne, become waterfoules, and at their time of ripenesse either fall into the sea, or flie abroad into the aire. The same doo neuer couple in the act of generation, but are from time to time multiplied, as before is exprest.

Æneas Syluius writeth himselfe to haue pursued the like experiment in Scotland, Sabel. part. 3. Ene. 10. lib. 5. Cam. lib. topog. dist. 1. rub. 15. Thom. p. 3. q. 31. ar 4. corp. where he learned the truth hereof to be found in the Ilands Orchades. Giraldus Cambrensis gathereth hereof a pretie conclusion against the Iewes in this wise following: "Respice infœlex Iudæe, respice, vel serò, primā hominis generationem ex limo sine mare & fœmina. Secundámque ex mare sine fœmina, ob legis venerationem, diffiteri non audes. Tertiam solam ex mare scilicet & fœmina, quia vsualis est, dura ceruice approbas & affirmas. Quartam vero, in qua sola salus est ex fœmina scilicet sine mare obstinata malicia in propriam perniciem detestaris. Erubesce miser, erubesce, & saltem ad naturam recurre, quæ ad argumenta fidei, ad instructionem nostram noua quotidie animalia sine omni mare vel fœmina procreat & producit. Prima ergo generatio ex limo, & hæc vltima ex ligno. Illa quidem quoniam à Domino naturæ tantùm semel, ideò semper obstupenda processit. Istam vero non minùs admirabilem, minus tamen admirandam (quia sæpè it) imitatrix natura administrat. Sic enim composita est humana natura, vt nihil, præter inusitatum & rarò contingens vel pretiosum ducat vel admirandum. Solis ortum & occasum, quo nihil in mundo pulchrius, nihil stupore dignius, quia quotidie videmus, sine omni admiratione præterimus. Eclipsin verò solis quia rariùs accidit, totus orbis obstupescit. Ac idem etiam facere videtur, flatu solo, & occulta quadam inspiratione citra omnem mixturam apum ex fauo procreatio."

"Marke thou wretched Iew, saith Cambrensis, marke yet at length the first creation (that is of Adam) of earth without male or female. As for the second, of a man without a woman (that is to saie Eue) for that thou hast the old law in reuerence, thou darest not denie. As for the third, both of man and woman, bicause it is dailie vsed as stiffeneckt as thou art, thou dooest acknowledge and confesse. But the fourth procreation, in which consisteth our onelie iustification (he meaneth the incarnation of Christ) of a woman without man, with sturdie and obstinat rancor to thine vtter destruction thou doost detest. Blush therefore thou vnhappie Iew, be ashamed of this thy tollie, and at the least wise haue recourse to nature, and settle hir works before thine eies, that for the increase of faith, and to the lessoning of vs, dailie bréedeth & ingendreth new liuing creatures, without the coupling of mascle or female. Adam was created of earth, the barnacles are ingendred of wood, bicause Adam was once created by him, who is Lord of nature, therefore it is continuallie admired. But for that dame nature the counterfeitresse of the celestiall workeman, eftsoones bréedeth barnacles, therefore their brood is accompted more maruellous than to be maruelled, more woonderfull than woondered. For such is the framing of man his nature, as he deemeth nothing pretious or woonderfull, but such things as seldome happen. What may be thought more beautifull than the course of the sunne ? And yet bicause we sée it dailie rise and set, we let it ouerslip vs as an vsuall custome, without anie staring or gazing. Yet we are amazed and astonied at the eclipse, bicause it happeneth verie seldome." The bées that are ingendred of the honie combe, onlie by a puffe or secret breathing Beées how they are ingendered. without anie coupling, séeme to vphold this procreation of barnacles. Hitherto Cambrensis, with whom concerning the ingendring of bées Iohannes de sancto Ioban. de S. Gem. in lib. de exempl. & simili. rerum li. 4. c. 31. Whether the barnacle be fish or flesh. Cambr. lib. 1. topog. dist. 1. r. b. 15. Polyobr. lib. 1. c. 32. Germiniano accordeth.

The inhabitants of Ireland are accustomed to mooue question, whether barnacles be fish or flesh, & as yet they are not fullie resolued; but most vsuallie the religious of streictest abstinence doo eat them on fish daies Giraldus Cambrensis, and after him Polichronicon suppose, that the Irish cleargie in this point straie. For they hold of certeintie that barnacles are flesh. And if a man saie they had eaten a collop of Adam his leg, he had eaten flesh. And yet Adam was not ingendred of mascle or female, but onelie created of claie, as the barnacles of wood & rotten timber. But the Irish clergie did not so farre straie in their opinion, as Cambrensis & Polichronicon, in their disproofe. For the framing of Adam and Eue was supernaturall Adam & Eue onelie created by God. August. super Genes. ad lit. lib. 9. c. 18. onelie doone by God, & not by the helpe of angels or anie other creature. For like as it surpasseth natures course to raise the dead, to lighten or insight the blind, so it stood not with the vsuall & common linage of nature, but onlie with the supereminent power of God, to frame a man of claie, and a woman of a mans rib. But the ingendring of barnacles is naturall, & not so woonderfull as Cambrensis maketh it. And therefore the examples are not like.

Now it should séeme that in Cambrensis his time, the Irish clergie builded their reason vpon this plot. What soeuer is flesh, is naturallie begotten or ingendred of flesh; barnacles are not naturallie ingendred of flesh, but onelie of timber and wood; barnacles therfore are not flesh, vnlesse you would haue them to be wooden flesh. And if the reason be so knit it may not be disiointed by Cambrensis his example. As if a man should argue thus. She that is begotten of anie man, must be of force daughter to that man; Melcha was begotten of Aran; Ergo Melcha was Arans Genes. 11. verse 29. daughter. This argument is of all parts so fortified, as it séemeth of all sides to be impregnable. Yet a busie braine sophister cauilling on the terme (begotten) might saie, that Eue was begotten of Adam, and yet she is not Adams daughter. True it Adam & Eua of no kin. Thom. p. 1. q. 92. art. 2. ad. 3. m. is that Adam was not Eues father, no more than Eue was Adams mother, neither by that ingendring was there anie degree of consanguinitie sprong betwéene them. But bicause the word (begotten) is taken in the argument for the naturall ingendring of man and woman, the instance giuen of Eue dooth not disproue the Maior. And yet for the better vnderstanding of the question, it is to be noted that the Thom. p. 1. q. 91. art. 2. ad. 2. m. Liuing things are of two sorts. Thom. p. 1. q. 71. 1. o. 1. m. Auicenna. philosophers distinguish Animalia sensitiua, that is, sensible liuing things, in two sorts, perfect and vnperfect. The perfect are they that are ingendred of seed, the vnperfect without seed. Those that are naturallie ingendred with séed, can neuer be naturallie ingendred without séed: albeit Auicenna verie erroniouslie holdeth the contrarie: as for example.

Bicause man is naturallie ingendred of man and woman, no man may naturallie be ingendred without the copulation of man and woman: yet supernaturallie it may be. As Adam was made without man and woman: Eue framed without woman: Gen. 2. vers. 7. Gen. 2. ver. 21. Mat. 1. ver. 10. Luc. 1. vers. 34. our sauiour Christ begotten without man. And therfore the diuell could not haue attainted him of originall sinne. Contrariwise, the vnperfect may be ingendred without séed by mire, mud, doong, carien, rotten timber, or anie other thing; and chieflie by the secret influence and instillation of the celestiall planets, as the sunne Vide Arist. lib. 1. Meteor. ca. 3. 6. 7. and such other. As if you put the haire of an horsse taile in mire, puddle, or in a doonghill for a certeine space, it will turne to a little thin spralling worme, which I haue often séene & experimented. And they are termed vnperfect, not in respect of their owne nature, in which they are perfect, but in comparison of other sorts of liuing things. Among this crue must barnacles be setled. But here some will saie; Let them be perfect or vnperfect, what then ? I would faine know, whether Cambrensis be in an errour, or the Irish clergie. For hitherto I sée nothing, but Cambrensis his reason disprooued. And it is often séene that a sound opinion may be weakened by a féeble reason, as we sée manie faire garments mard in the making. It is true: and if anie be desirous to know my mind herein, I suppose, according The barnacle neither fish nor flesh. to my simple iudgement, vnder the correction of both parties, that the barnacle is neither fish nor flesh, but rather a meane betwéene both. As put the case it were enacted by parlement, that it were high treason to eat flesh on fridaie, and fish on sundaie. Trulie I thinke that he that eateth barnacles both these daies, should not be within the compasse of the estatute: yet I would not wish my friend to hazard it, least the barnacle should be found in law fish or flesh, yea and perhaps fish and flesh. As when the lion king of beasts made proclamation, that all horned beasts should auoid his court, one beast hauing but a bunch of flesh in his forehead departed with the rest, least it had béene found in law that his bunch were an horne.

But some will peraduenture maruell, that there should be anie liuing thing, that were not fish nor flesh. But they haue no such cause at all. Nits, fleshwormes, bees, butterflies, caterpillers, snailes, grassehoppers, beetels, earewikes, reremise, frogs, toads, adders, snakes, & such other, are liuing things, and yet they are neither fish nor flesh, nor yet red herring: as they that are trained in scholasticall points may easilie iudge. And so I thinke, that if anie were so sharpe set (the estatute aboue rehearsed, presupposed) as to eat fried flies, butterd bees, stued snailes, either on fridaie or sundaie, he could not be therefore indicted of haulte treason; albeit I would not be his ghest, vnlesse I tooke his table to be furnisht with more wholesome and licorous viands. The like question may be mooued of The sell whether it be fish or flesh. Thom. p. 1. a. 71. e. 1. e. 3. e. the sell, and if it were well canuassed, it would be found at the leastwise a moot case. But thus farre of barnacles.

Ireland is stored of cowes, of excellent horsses, of hawkes, of fish and of foule. They are not without woolues & greihounds to hunt them, bigger of bone and lim than a colt. Their cowes, as also the rest of their cattell, and commonlie what else soeuer the countrie ingendreth (except man) is much lesse in quantitie than those of England, or of other realms. Shéepe few, and those bearing course Sheéepe. fleeses, whereof they spin notable rug. Their shéepe haue short and curt tailes. They shéere their shéepe twise yearlie, and if they be left vnshorne, they are therewith rather pained than otherwise. The countrie is verie fruitfull both of corne and grasse. The grasse (for default of good husbandrie) suffered vncut, groweth so ranke in the north parts, that oftentimes it rotteth their cattell. Egles are well Egle. knowen to bréed in Ireland, but neither so big, no so manie as bookes tell. The horsses are of pase easie, in running woonderfull swift, in gallop both false and full The Irish hobbie. The nag. indifferent. The nag or the hackeneie is verie good for trauelling, albeit others report the contrarie. And if he be broken accordinglie, you shall haue a little tit that will trauell a whole daie without anie bait. Their horsses of seruice are called The chiefe horsse. chiefe horsses, being well broken they are of an excellent courage. They reine passinglie, and champe vpon their bridels brauelie, commonlie they amble not but gallop and run. And these horsses are but for skirmishes, not for trauelling, for their stomachs are such, as they disdaine to be hacknied. Thereof the report grew, that the Irish hobbie will not hold out in trauelling. You shall haue of the third sort a bastard or mongrell hobbie, néere as tall as the horsse of seruice, The mongrell hobbie. strong in trauelling, easie in ambling, and verie swift in running. Of the horsse of seruice they make great store, as wherin at times of néed they repose a great péece of safetie. This brood Volaterane writeth to haue come from Austurea, the countrie Volat. lib. 3. Geog. Asturcones. of Hispaine, betwéene Gallicia and Portugall, whereof they were named Asturcones, a name now properlie applied to the Hispanish genet.

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