settled over all for the night.
What the feelings of a lady as sensitive, passionate, and proud as Miss Todd
were we can only imagine — no one can ever describe them.
By daybreak, after persistent search, Lincoln
's friends found him. Restless, gloomy, miserable, desperate, he seemed an object of pity.
His friends, Speed among the number, fearing a tragic termination, watched him closely in their rooms day and night.
“Knives and razors, and every instrument that could be used for self-destruction were removed from his reach.”
1 Mrs. Edwards
did not hestitate to regard him as insane, and of course her sister Mary shared in that view.
But the case was hardly so desperate.
His condition began to improve after a few weeks, and a letter written to his partner Stuart
, on the 23d of January, 1841, three weeks after the scene at Edwards' house, reveals more perfectly how he felt.
He says: “I am now the most miserable man living.
If what I feel were equally distributed to the whole human family, there would not be one cheerful face on earth.
Whether I shall ever be better, I cannot tell; I awfully forebode I shall not. To remain as I am is impossible.
I must die or be better, as it appears to me. . . I fear I shall be unable to attend to any business here, and a change of scene might help me. If I could be myself I would rather remain at home with Judge Logan
I can write no more.”
During all this time the Legislature to which Lincoln
belonged was in special session, but for a time