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[513] displeased Mr. Lincoln so much he turned abruptly and asked, loud enough to be heard by others, “Why is this man forever following me?” At another time, when we were down at City Point, Johnson, still following us, was drunk. Mr. Lincoln in desperation exclaimed, “For God's sake don't ask Johnson to dine with us.” Sumner, who was along, joined in the request. Mr. Lincoln was mild in his manners, but he was a terribly firm man when he set his foot down. None of us, no man or woman, could rule him after he had once fully made up his mind. I could always tell when in deciding anything he had reached the ultimatum. At first he was very cheerful, then he lapsed into thoughtfulness, bringing his lips together in a firm compression. When these symptoms developed I fashioned myself accordingly, and so did all others have to do sooner or later. When we first went to Washington many thought Mr. Lincoln was weak, but he rose grandly with the circumstances. I told him once of the assertion I had heard coming from the friends of Seward, that the latter was the power behind the throne; that he could rule him. He replied, “I may not rule myself, but certainly Seward shall not. The only ruler I have is my conscience — following God in it — and these men will have to learn that yet.”

Some of the newspaper attacks on him gave him great pain. I sometimes read them to him, but he would beg me to desist, saying, “I have enough to bear now, but yet I care nothing for them. If I'm right I'll live, and if wrong I'll die anyhow; so let ”

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