58. the Adventures of the C. S. A. Commissioners.Ye jolly Yankee gentlemen, who live at home at ease,
How little do ye think upon the dangers of the seas!
The winds and waves, the whales and sharks, you've heard of long ago,
But there are things much worse than these, as presently I'll show.
If you're a true-bred Union man, go joyful where you please;
Beneath the glorious Stars and Stripes cross safe the stormy seas;
But look out for “San Jacintos” that may catch you on your way,
If you're acting as Commissioner for the noble (?) C. S. A.
And now you'll guess my subject, and what my song's about;
But I'd not have put them into rhyme, if they hadn't first put out;
For they put out of Charleston, when the night was drear and dark,
And then they put out all the lights, that they might not be a mark;
And then they did put out to sea, (though here there seems a hitch,
For what could they expect to see when the night was black as pitch?)
But they somehow ‘scaped the Union ships, and hoped on some fine day
To land in Europe and to “blow” about the C. S. A.
They safely got to Cuba, and landed in Havana;
Described the power and glory of New Orleans and Savannah;
Declared that running the blockade was a thing by no means hard,
And boasted of the victories won by their valiant Beauregard:
Davis's skill in government could never be surpassed--
The amazing strokes of genius by which he cash amassed;
Foreign bankers would acknowledge ere a month had passed away,
That the true financial paradise was in the C. S. A.
* * * * * *
Some days are passed, and pleasantly, upon Bermuda's Isle,
The sun is shining bright and fair, and Nature seems to smile:
The breezes waved the British flag that fluttered o'er the “Trent,”
And the ripples rose to lave her sides as proudly on she went.
Mason and Slidell on her deck thought all their dangers past,
And poked each others' ribs and laughed as they leant against the mast:
“Haven't the Yankees just been ‘ done’ uncommonly nicely, eh?
They've got most money, but the brains are in the C. S. A.!”
You have heard the ancient proverb, and, thoa old, it's very good,
Which hints “That it's better not to crow until you've left the wood:”
And so it proved with these two gents, for at that moment — souse!
A cannon-shot fell splash across the steamer's bows
The San Jacinto came up close, and thoa rather rude, 'tis true,
Good Wilkes lie hailed the Trent and said, “I'll thank you to heave to;
” If you don't give up two rascals, I must blow you right away,
“Mason and Slidell they're named, and they're from the C. S. A.!”
The British captain raged and swore; but then what could he do?
It scarcely would be worth his while to be blown up, he knew;
Wilkes's marines with bayonets fixed, were standing on the “Trent,”
So he gave up the traitors, and o'er the side they went.
Wilkes, having got them, wished they'd feel pleasant and at home,
So offered his best cabins if their ladies chose to come;
But they shook their heads, and merely smiled; I am sorry for to say
Conjugality's at a discount down in the C. S. A.
They coolly said unto their lords, “Our dresses all are new;
What on earth would be the use of going back with you?
And thoa we're very sorry that your plans are undone,
We mean to pass the winter in Paris and in London. 
‘Stead of bothering you, and sharing your prison beds and fetters,
We'll write each mail from Europe the most delightful letters:
Tell you of all we've done and seen, at party, ball, or play,
To cheer your hearts, poor martyrs to Cotton and C. S. A.”
So the two vessels parted; the San Jacinto went
To unload her precious cargo, while the captain of the “Trent”
Having lost a (probable) douceur which had seemed within his grip,
We presume, for consolation, retired and took a nip.
The ladies talked of the affair less with a tear than smile--
Their lords and masters took their way to Warren's Fort the while:
And gratis lodged and boarded there, they may think for many a day
That brains are sometimes northward found as well's in the C. S. A.