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[8]

One thousand copies of Wendell Phillips's works treating of the diseases incident to the negro when suffering from the effects of mental excitement and Robinson County whisky.

One volume of Lloyd Garrison's sermons, wherein is discussed the probability of leasing the waste land in the moon for the purpose of building contraband camps thereon, and devising some means by which the circumference of Humphrey Marshall may be diminished.

One million copies of soft-soap Beecher's flattering eulogies on Stonewall Jackson, who killed several thousand Federal soldiers, and his bitter abuse of that patron saint of piety, Vallandigham, who never killed a man in his lifetime. The moral to be had from this is: Since no abolitionists are in the war, Jackson must have killed Democrats, and they in turn killed some rebs at least, and it is, therefore, (as said Beecher believes it to be,) a logical consequence that, if this war continues for fifty or one hundred years, both Democrats and rebs will get killed, and the abolitionists run the country to the d — l, where they are now trying to run it.

One daguerreotype of Harriet Beecher Stowe — not so much on account of its beauty as its----

Two barrels of wooden nutmegs, as evidence of the skill, enterprise, and ability of the Yankees to carry on this war one million years or more.

One half pumpkin, grown in Connecticut, carried to Texas, and captured in Cork by a Tennesseean, who went hunting his rights in a bold privateer, to be used as a washtub by the prisoners at Camp Douglas, Chicago.

One thousand copies of each of the Louisville Journal, containing the highly complimentary letters of its correspondent, Dr. Adonis, on the secesh women of the South, their frailties and follies. When read by the Northern rebel prisoners they (the papers) all to be reported at this post, then distributed to the fair little “rebs” of Murfreesboro, who are to use them as pillows, (wrapped in the Stars and Stripes, of course,) the better to facilitate their enraptured dreams of bliss, of the moral progress and intellectual improvement of said correspondent.

Time forbids my enumerating the many other and valuable articles bestowed toward alleviating the wants of the devoted bands of chivalry who pine in Southern prisons. As the ladies who are engaged in this laudable undertaking are open and avowed rebels, it will be no breach of courtesy to give an admiring public the names of these beauties. Among the most enthusiastic and devoted of those home-made warriors, is the charming Miss Kit C----, Miss D----e, the Misses Mac K----, Miss Betty G----e, Miss Kate M----l, and numerous others. Mrs. N----(lovely creature as she is) has her whole soul in the work, and is one of the leading spirits. Outside the lines, there are vivacious and sprightly young ladies, who worship at the same shrine: there's Miss Lucy H----l and Miss Fanny B----y. They are what is known as “country girls,” and have less policy and more honesty in their actions. Miss B----refused to take the oath, and vowed she would rather die, or get married, first. The modest officer who was to administer the oath allowed her her liberty on condition that she soon became a Union woman. If Mars relaxes his grasp from this precious daughter of the sunny South, an agonized nation and weeping people pray that Cupid (a god of more affable propensities) seize upon her, till she sends up three hurrahs and a tiger for some kind of a Union.

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