in my rear could see me, and I don't believe I was in any danger from their muskets, yet I felt less ‘out of place’ when I had passed around the flank of a company and stood in rear of the line.
I there witnessed, for the only time in my experience, one of those remarkable instances of a man too brave to think of running away, and yet too much frightened to be able to fight.
He was loading his musket and firing in the air with great rapidity.
When I took hold of his arm and shook him, calling his attention to what he was doing, he seemed as if aroused from a trance, entirely unconscious of what had happened.
This circumstance recalls the familiar story of two comrades in the ranks, the one apparently unmoved, the other pale and trembling.
The first said: ‘Why, you seem to be scared!’
‘Yes,’ replied the other; ‘if you were half as scared as I am, you would run away!’
A few minutes later I went toward the right to rejoin my chief, and found his lifeless body a few feet in rear of the line, in charge of his faithful orderly, Lehman
, who was mourning bitterly and loudly the death of the great soldier whom he adored.
At that supremely critical moment—for the fight was then raging with great fury—my only thought was the apprehension that the troops might be injuriously affected if they learned of the death of the commander who had so soon won their profound respect and confidence.
I chided poor Lehman
for his outcry, and ordered that the body be taken quietly to the rear, and that no one be told of the general's death.
Thus fell one of our bravest and truest soldiers and patriots, a man who had no fear of death, but who could not endure defeat.
's fall, Major Sturgis
became the senior officer
of military education and experience present.
Several of the senior volunteer officers had been wounded and carried from the field.
Who was the actual senior in rank on the ground was not easy to