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[58]

For the last month that he had remained in Massachusetts, while growing weaker all the time, he had retained all his interest in his regiment. He expressed peculiar pleasure in recalling his intercourse with the men; saying that he felt sure he had been useful to many of them, and that only the pleasantest relation had existed between them and him. Great as was his disappointment, he certainly never regretted his participation in the war. He said once that it was a great satisfaction to him to think that if he had stayed at home he should have been better off in money affairs, for his business had increased since he went; so that it was proved to himself that he went from patriotic motives. He also liked the thought that, had he stayed at home, he probably would not have been thus mortally diseased; for his lungs had been pronounced perfectly sound by the physicians of a Life Insurance Company before he entered the service. He could feel that it was a vigorous life and a prosperous fortune of which he had made the sacrifice. There was something noble, not selfish, in the feeling that led him thus to dwell, in what he knew to be the closing period of his life, on the offering thus given to his country,— to rejoice that he had been permitted to give it, and that he had possessed so much to give.

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