Table of Contents:
Queen of Sheba visited the great Oriental monarch, we read that she presented him with apes and peacocks, though it is not stated that they were designed for the chiefs of his ‘"grand army."’ Since the Virginia races of Bethel and Manassas, the unlucky Federal Generals have been pitched out of the camp as unceremoniously as ever a litter of blind puppies were tumbled out of a bag into the horse-pond.--Under these circumstances a substitute was indispensable, and a venerable turkey cock is to supercede the ‘"butler"’ sent in disgrace from Fortress Monroe. We doubt whether the world has ever seen a ‘"grand army"’ headed by two such antiquated coxcombs as Fuss and Feathers and his rival, numbering one hundred and fifty years between them — equals in age, in vanity, and in mutual hatred. Of all the birds, the turkey is the most stupid; but he will fly at anything, even if ten times stronger than himself. So Gen. Magruder will have to look cut. It is known, on undoubted authority that General Banks figured as a dancing master before he was exalted to his present position. It is, therefore, fair to infer that he was selected as manager of the great triumphal ball, in Richmond, on the 22d of July, where he was to have danced a passeul for the entertainment of the Federal ladies, who rode so gracefully at the races, and on which occasion he might have flourished a pair of handcuffs as castanets. That vocation being gone, he can now take the place of showman for the menagerie. As to the newly-appointed General, he has one means left of immortalizing himself.--His name forms a happy substitute for the celebrated Bull, in the funeral of Cock Robin, and the well-known lines may be appropriately applied to the condition of the ‘ "grand army:"’ ‘ "Who'll toll the bell? Who'll toll the bell?
I, says Gen. Wool, because I can pull,
And I'll toll the bell!"
This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License.
An XML version of this text is available for download, with the additional restriction that you offer Perseus any modifications you make. Perseus provides credit for all accepted changes, storing new additions in a versioning system.