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A capital Burlesque.

The following capital satire upon the system of issuing orders indiscriminately by general officers, is furnished the Atlanta Confederacy by a private soldier in Gen. Johnston's army. It is peculiarly good:

Hdq'rs Reserve Brigade, February 20th, 1864.
General Orders no. 30,217.
in view of the numerous Orders on the subject of furloughs from army corps and division headquarters, and in order the more effectually to guard against the possibility of any soldier obtaining a furlough or leave of absence, the following regulations in reference thereto are published, and will be strictly observed in this command:

  1. I. In all applications, under General Orders No. 227, 15, 6, 18, 10, and 20, the certificates of company commanders must show--
    1st. That "Order is Heaven's first law."
    2d. That none are absent or desire to be absent on furlough or otherwise.
    3d. That every man in the company has re-enlisted for the war, and has signed a pledge to re-enlist again for the same length of time under the late military law.
    4th. That the applicant has been a "gallant and meritorious soldier," and has slain at least seven or eight Yankees in single combat. Scarps must be forwarded with application, or the certificate of a Medical Board who saw the same taken in action.
    5th in order that the above paragraph may be fully carried out, and only the meritorious receive furloughs, a certificate is required that applicant has been chosen by lot.
    6th. The number of barefooted men must be given, together with the condition of the camps, and the number of cases of camp itch.
    7th. "The vulgar fractions of each company will be aggregated with the extra duty men," wagons, and ambulance, the square root extracted, and nine wagons out of every ten furloughed.
  2. II. When a recruit is furnished, certificate of the mother of the recruit must show that he was piously brought up; that he is not subject to desertion, inclined to cavalry, and that he is not now, and never has been a minor or nitre bureau.--(Family Bible will, in all such cases, be enclosed with the application)
  3. III. In case of officers applying for leaves of absence, certificates must show--
    1. That applicant is alive and well, and hopes Col. Geo. Wm. Brent, A. A. G., is enjoying the same blessing.
    2. That applicant has never been tried by General Orders or General Court Martial.
    3. That he fully and entirely understands all orders upon furloughs and leaves of absence, as well as all other orders whatsoever that may have been or will be hereafter issued.
    4. No such plea as a desire to marry, or attend to important business, or to visit a dying wife, father, and mother, will be considered. In the present crisis of our affairs, no person of common patriotism will entertain the idea of dying; neither will it be allowed. They must quietly wait their turn under General Orders.
    5. No application for furlough or leave of absence will be entertained unless folded according to form prescribed in G. O. No. 5, and neatly secured with 6¾ yards of red tape.
  4. VI. The following persons are excluded from the benefits and operations of the foregoing order:
    1. All men who have been executed under sentence of court martial.
    2. All married men who have either visited home or written to their wives within twelve months preceding the battle of Missionary Ridge.
    3. All unmarried men who have at any time during the period of six months next preceding the 18th January, entertained the idea of a matrimonial affiance.
  5. VII. No furloughs or leave of absence will be granted in any case whatever.
By order of Brig Gen Vidette.
Jerry Screws, Active Expectant Gen.

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