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"Joe, my dear," said a fond wife to her husband; who followed the piscatory profession on the banks of the Newfoundland, " do fix up a little, you look so slovenly. Oh, what an awful memory it would be for me if you should get drowned looking so."

"Sire, one word," said a soldier one day to Frederick the Great when presenting to him a request for the brevet of lieutenant. "If you say two," answered the king, "I will have you hanged," "Sign," replied the soldier. The king stared, whistled and signed.

A profound observer remarks: "I have often observed at public entertainments that when there is anything to be seen, and everybody wants particularly to see it, everybody immediately stands up, and effectually prevents anybody from seeing anything."

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