And Cynulcus, being very angry, said,—You glutton of a man, whose god is your belly, you know nothing else yourself, nor are you able to keep up an uninterrupted conversation, nor to recollect any history, nor to begin anything which may tend to throw a charm on any discussion. But you have been wasting all the time with questions of this sort, “Is there such and such a statement? Is there not? Has such and such a thing been said? Has it not been said?” And you attack and examine closely everything which occurs in anything which is said, collecting all your thorns—living continually
As if among thistles, or plants of rough borage—-never collecting any sweet flowers. Are you not the person who call that which is called by the Romans strena, being so named in accordance with some national tradition, and which is accustomed to be given to friends, epinomis? And if you do this in imitation of Plato, we should be glad to learn it; but if you find that any one of the ancients has ever spoken in such a manner, tell us who it is who has. For I know that there is some part of a trireme which is called epinomis, as Apollonius states in his treatise on what relates to Triremes. Are not you the man who called your new stout cloak, which had never yet been used by you, (for the proper name of it, my friend, is really φαινόλης,) useless? saying—“My slave Leucus, give me that useless cloak.” And once going to the bath, did not you say to a man who asked you, Whither now? I am going, said you, ἀπολούμενος (pronouncing the word as if it meant to kill yourself rather than to bathe). And that very day your beautiful garment was purloined from you by some bath robbers; so that there was great laughter in the bath, at this useless cloak being hunted for. At another time too, O my dear friends, (for the plain truth shall be told you,) he tripped against a stone and dislocated his knees. And when he was cured he again came into public: and when men asked him, What is the matter, O Ulpian? he said it was a black eye. And I (for I was with him at the time) being then unable to restrain my laughter, got anointed under the eyes with some thick ointment by a physician who was a friend of mine, and then said to those who asked me, What is the matter with you, that I had hurt my leg.