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Mnesilochus
aside
Wanting to rape indeed! you mean wanting to be raped. Ah! great gods! a fine excuse truly!

Euripides
Well then, do you agree?

Agathon
Don't count upon it.

Euripides
Oh! I am unfortunate indeed! I am undone!

Mnesilochus
Euripides, [210] my friend, my son-in-law, never despair.

Euripides
What can be done?

Mnesilochus
Send him to the devil and do with me as you like.

Euripides
Very well then, since you devote yourself to my safety, take off your cloak first.

Mnesilochus
There, it lies on the ground. [215] But what do you want to do with me?

Euripides
To shave off this beard of yours, and to remove all your other hair as well.

Mnesilochus
Do what you think fit; I yield myself entirely to you.

Euripides
Agathon, you always have razors about you; lend me one.

Agathon
Take it yourself, [220] there, out of that case.

Euripides
Thanks. To Mnesilochus Now sit down and puff out your right cheek.

Mnesilochus
As he is being shaved
Ow! Ow! Ow!

Euripides
What are you shouting for? I'll cram a spit down your gullet, if you're not quiet.

Mnesilochus
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!

He jumps up and starts running away.

Euripides
[225] Where are you running to now?

Mnesilochus
To the temple of the Eumenides. No, by Demeter! I won't let myself be gashed like that.

Euripides
But you will get laughed at, with your face half-shaven like that.

Mnesilochus
Little care I.

Euripides
In the gods' names, don't leave me in the lurch. Come here.

Mnesilochus
Oh! by the gods!

He returns reluctantly and resumes his seat.

Euripides
[230] Keep still and hold up your head. Why do you want to fidget about like this?

Mnesilochus
Mm, mm.

Euripides
Well! why mm, mm? There! it's done and well done too!

Mnesilochus
Alas, I shall fight without armour.

Euripides
Don't worry; you look charming. Do you want to see yourself?

Mnesilochus
Yes, I do; hand the mirror here.

Euripides
[235] Do you see yourself?

Mnesilochus
But this is not I, it is Cleisthenes!

Euripides
Stand up; I am now going to remove your hair. Bend down.

Mnesilochus
Alas! alas! they are going to grill me like a pig.

Euripides
Come now, a torch or a lamp! Bend down and watch out for the tender end of your tool!

Mnesilochus
[240] Aye, aye! but I'm afire! oh! oh! Water, water, neighbor, or my perineum will be alight!

Euripides
Keep up your courage!

Mnesilochus
Keep my courage, when I'm being burnt up?

Euripides
Come, cease your whining, the worst [245] is over.

Mnesilochus
Oh! it's quite black, all burnt down there!

Euripides
Don't worry! Satyrus will wash it.

Mnesilochus
Woe to him who dares to wash me!

Euripides
Agathon, you refuse to devote yourself to helping me; [250] but at any rate lend me a tunic and a belt. You cannot say you have not got them.

Agathon
Take them and use them as you like; I consent.

Mnesilochus
What shall I take?

Agathon
First put on this long saffron-coloured robe.

Mnesilochus
By Aphrodite! what a sweet odor! how it smells of young male tools! [255] Hand it to me quickly. And the belt?

Euripides
Here it is.

Mnesilochus
Now some rings for my legs.

Euripides
You still want a hair-net and a head-dress.

Agathon
Here is my night cap.

Euripides
Ah! that's fine.

Mnesilochus
[260] Does it suit me?

Euripides
It could not be better. And a short mantle?

Agathon
There's one on the couch; take it.

Euripides
He needs slippers.

Agathon
Here are mine.

Mnesilochus
Will they fit me?

Euripides
To Agathon
You don't like a loose fit.

Agathon
Try them on. Now that you have all you need, [265] let me be taken inside.

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