Epops
[125]
Then you are looking for an aristocratic country.
Euelpides
I? Not at all! I hold the son of Scellias in horror.
Epops
But, after all, what sort of city would please you best?
Euelpides
A place where the following would be the most important business transacted. —Some friend would come knocking at the door quite early in the morning
[130]
saying, “By Olympian Zeus, be at my house early, as soon as you have bathed, and bring your children too. I am giving a nuptial feast, so don't fail, or else don't cross my threshold when I am in distress.”
Epops
[135]
Ah! that's what may be called being fond of hardships!
To Pisthetaerus. And what say you?
Pisthetaerus
My tastes are similar.
Epops
And they are?
Pisthetaerus
I want a town where the father of a handsome lad will stop in the street and say to me reproachfully as if I had failed him, “Ah! Is this well done, Stilbonides?
[140]
You met my son coming from the bath after the gymnasium and you neither spoke to him, nor kissed him, nor took him with you, nor ever once felt his balls. Would anyone call you an old friend of mine?”
Epops
Ah! wag, I see you are fond of suffering. But there is a city of delights such as you want.
[145]
It's on the Red Sea.
Euelpides
Oh, no. Not a sea-port, where some fine morning the Salaminian galley can appear, bringing a process-server along. Have you no Greek town you can propose to us?
Epops
Why not choose Lepreum in Elis for your settlement?
Euelpides
[150]
By Zeus! I could not look at Lepreum without disgust, because of Melanthius.
Epops
Then, again, there is the Opuntian Locris, where you could live.
Euelpides
I would not be Opuntian for a talent.
[155]
But come, what is it like to live with the birds? You should know pretty well.
Epops
Why, it's not a disagreeable life. In the first place, one has no purse.
Euelpides
That does away with a lot of roguery.
Epops
For food the gardens yield us white sesame,
[160]
myrtle-berries, poppies and mint.
Euelpides
Why, 'tis the life of the newly-wed indeed.
Pisthetaerus
Ha! I am beginning to see a great plan, which will transfer the supreme power to the birds, if you will but take my advice.
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Table of Contents:
Aristophanes. Birds. The Complete Greek Drama, vol. 2. Eugene O'Neill, Jr. New York. Random House. 1938.
The Annenberg CPB/Project provided support for entering this text.