Aristophanes, Plutus
Eugene O'Neill, Jr., Ed.

Cario
[1135] Willingly, if I can.

Hermes
Give me some well-baked bread and a big hunk of the victims they are sacrificing in your house.

Cario
That would be stealing.

Hermes
Do you forget, then, [1140] how I used to take care he knew nothing about it when you were stealing something from your master?

Cario
Because I used to share it with you, you rogue; some cake or other always came your way.

Hermes
Which afterwards you ate up all by yourself.

Cario
But then you did not share the blows [1145] when I was caught.

Hermes
Forget past injuries, now you have taken Phyle. Ah! how I should like to live with you! Take pity and receive me.

Cario
You would leave the gods to stop here?

Hermes
One is much better off among you.

Cario
[1150] What! you would desert! Do you think that is honest?

Hermes
“Where I live well, there is my country.”

Cario
But how could we employ you here?

Hermes
Place me near the door; I am the watchman god and would shift off the robbers.

Cario
Shift off! Ah! but we have no love for shifts.

Hermes
[1155] Entrust me with business dealings.

Cario
But we are rich; why should we keep a haggling Hermes?

Hermes
Let me intrigue for you.

Cario
No, no, intrigues are forbidden; we believe in good faith.

Hermes
I will work for you as a guide.

Cario
But the god sees clearly now, [1160] so we no longer want a guide.

Hermes
Well then, I will preside over the games. Ah! what can you object to in that? Nothing is fitter for Plutus than to give scenic and gymnastic games.

Cario
How useful it is to have so many names! [1165] Here you have found the means of earning your bread. I don't wonder the jurymen so eagerly try to get entered for many tribunals.

Hermes
So then, you admit me on these terms?

Cario
Go and wash the entrails of the victims at the well, [1170] so that you may show yourself serviceable at once.