Great Discoveries made too late.
They tell us of a gold, a silver, an iron, a brazen and a dark age. The present is the age of discovery.
Let us enumerate a little:
- 1.
Greeley discovered that the South was a bill of expense to the rest of the Union--the sooner it left the better.
- 2. The Abolitionists generally, that the South was a poor-house, and supported by the North.
- 3. That the generality of the Southerners could neither read, write, work nor fight.
- 4. That we could neither kick the South into a fight nor out of the Union.
- 5. That nobody but Keitt, or, at most, South Carolina, would insurrect.
- 6. That the paupers would sooner secede from the town farm than the South attempt to leave the Union.
- 7. That we could quell the South "by driving an old black cow down there."
- 8.
That the slaves would do it in three months.
- 9.
That one Massachusetts regiment would do it.
- 10.
That three Massachusetts regiment could do it.
- 11.
That 75,000 three months men would do it.
- 12.
That 400,000 would do it.
- 13.
That 700,000 men were more than enough to do it, so we must stop volunteering.
(See Henry Wilson.)
- 14.
That 300,000 more three years men would finish it.
- 15.
That 200,000 nine months men would finish it.
- 16.
That the Maine, New York, New Jersey and Ohio militia would do it.
- 17.
That 300,000 drafted men would do it.
- 18.
That the whole North, from 20 45, shall do it.
- 19.
That "A. Lincoln" is the sole and final judge whether the country is invaded or in insurrection or not.
- 20.
That when he says that is the fact, he has the power to hang, roast, broil, banish or stew every person in the United States.
(See Lincoln to Corning and others.)
- 21.
That if the State Governors and Legislatures don't suit him, the provost-marshal will keep them in order.
(See New York Times)
- 22.
That by touching "a bell" Lincoln has more power than any one, aside from the Almighty, has ever attempted to exercise on earth, and that all his pimps have just as much.
(See Seward to Lyons, and Burnside to the Judge.)
- 23.
That it is the duty of white men to marry sooty wenches.
(See Eider Tilton.)
- 24.
That all men ought to have niggers marry their daughters.
(See Bishop Judkins.)
- 25.
That love for the mate blacks consists in putting them where David put Uriah.
(See Port Hudson and Morris Island.)
- 26.
That Hannibal was a nigger.
(See Solicitor Whiting.)
The corollary would seem to be that when we die we should go to a lamp-black Heaven.--
N. H. Democrat. 
