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Well, how should I knock on the door now? How?
How do the natives here knock on doors?
Don't waste time, take a bite of the door,
Just like Heracles, since you've got his form and temper.
Hey! porter, porter!
Who is it?
Heracles the mighty.
O impious, daring, and most shameless wretch,
O villain, double villain, and arch-villain,
It was you who came before, and stole my dog,
Poor Cerberus! you gagged and seized him,
And then ran off—I was guarding him! but now we've got you,
Thus the black-hearted Stygian rock
and the crag of Acheron dripping with gore
can hold you; and the circling hounds of Cocytus
and Echidna with her hundred heads shall tear
your entrails; your lungs will be attacked by
the Tartesian Eel, your kidneys
bleeding with your very entrails
the Tithrasian Gorgons will rip apart.
To them I will direct my hasty foot.
Hey, what'd you do?
I made a mess. Call the god.
Ridiculous! Quick, get up,
before some stranger sees you!
But I feel faint
Bring me the sponge, and place it near my heart.
Please apply it.
Where? O golden Gods!
Is that where you have your heart?
It was terrified,
and crept into my bowels down below.
Of Gods and men you surely are the biggest coward.
A coward? how so? Didn't I ask you for the sponge?
Another man would not have acted thus.
What would he do?
A coward would have lain down flat, and smelt unpleasant—
I stood upright and wiped myself besides.
A manly act, by Poseidon.
God, I think so.
But weren't you scared of that rumble of words
God no! I didn't even notice.
Well now, since you're so brave and heroic,
you be me, and take my club
and lion skin, if you've got fearless guts.
And I will be the porter in your place.
Give me that stuff quick; I cannot but obey.
Now look upon the Xanthian Heracles,
And see if I will be a coward and lose heart like you.
Oh no, you'll be a regular whipping-boy of Melite,
Let's go, I'll take up the pack here.