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Charles Congdon, Tribune Essays: Leading Articles Contributing to the New York Tribune from 1857 to 1863. (ed. Horace Greeley), Mr. Benjamin Screws. (search)
ssed Union cannot possibly be preserved, we do not see but that somebody must deal in it, and why should not that somebody be Mr. Benjamin Screws as well as another? Our Southern friends are really too hard upon the Slatters and the Screws. As well might we at the North turn up our noses at our butchers and sneer at our bakers. As well might a Wall street gentleman, in a tight place, flout the accommodating philanthropist who lets him have money to pay his note withal. You are in New, Orleans and you want to buy a carpenter. Screws has first-rate ones constantly on hand. Your wife tells you that Venus, the cook, is really getting too old, and you take this superannuated piece of goods to Screws and exchange her for a more youthful article, paying such boot as Screws and equity may demand. Who will say that Screws is not a public benefactor?-a most useful and worthy member of society? We shall defend Screws. We see him in his office constantly striving to keep up a full asso
Charles Congdon, Tribune Essays: Leading Articles Contributing to the New York Tribune from 1857 to 1863. (ed. Horace Greeley), A New Laughing-stock. (search)
age. Unfortunately, Mr. Sumner, instead of spouting in a safe and general way, after the old fashion, discussed freely and earnestly the Dred Scott decision, and did not speak in very affectionate terms of Mr. Chief Justice Taney. To this, General Palfrey was obliged to listen. His too officious friends had probably conducted him to a front seat, so that egress would have been difficult; and pleased or displeased, he was compelled to stay. If Mr. George Sumner had been speaking in New Orleans, or even in Washington, the General might have silenced him by knocking him down; but such an experiment, however sweet, safe and effectual elsewhere, would have been a perilous one in Boston. So the martial veteran was forced to keep quiet. We do not understand why he did not go into convulsions. His escape from apoplexy appears to us little short of miraculous. But he did escape, and the oration delivered, went down to Faneuil Hall, with a sour stomach and a feeble appetite for his di
rings in the basins and the sponges, and is ready to hold the lady's bottle! Talk no more of a dearth of historical subjects for the easel! Why, the death of Nelson was nothing to this! Though we are, on the other hand, rather than else inclined to the opinion that no living painter could do justice to Miss Slidell's agony. Sir Joshua Reynolds managed Ugolino, but we do not think that our whole National Academy, with the Sketch-Club to boot, could adequately portray this Maid of (New) Orleans in all the sublimity of hysterics. If they are up to it, all we have to say is, that they do not need plaster-heads of Medusa to paint from any longer. Williams may be within reach of a clever brush, as with ears long and erect, and admiration driving stupidity from his countenance, he stands by speechless with gratification (and a large variety of other emotions) and wondering what this charming young woman will really do next. And finally, a companion-piece might represent Mr. Fairfax