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The Daily Dispatch: June 5, 1861., [Electronic resource], A snoring wife. (search)
A snoring wife. --Talk about your scolding wives and your smoky chimneys, but they ain't nowhere — they ain't a circumstance. I would rather have a chimney that emits smoke enough to cure the whole family, and be forced to live with a dozen Xanthippe all together, than to have to "put up" with a snoring wife. Oh! the very idea makes a nervous man tremble from the top of his stovepipe hat to about a foot below the soles of his boots! A snoring wife! Boo-o-o-o! But I started out to tell a story, and I am going to do it. Well, "In life's morning march, when my bosom was young," I wooed and won the beautiful and accomplished Miss Ann M. Dash. The difficulties of the courtship I will not here enumerate, for they will not weave into the plan of this story, which is intended to be short — very short. The appointed time for the wedding arrived, and hundreds of young people, from far and near, assembled at the mansion of the old man Dash, to witness the ceremony and "
Fanny Fern Parton has separated from her husband. Cause — ill usage. Possibly Parton found his modern Xanthippe hard to manage age. Col. W. W. Fambro, an editor and prominent member of the bar of Dallas county, Alabama, died a few days since. J. F. Jackson, for many years an eminent lawyer of Montgomery, Ala., is dead. John C. Heesan, the bruiser, has gone to Europe.
We trust that when Peace shall return to this belligerent land, and our Universities and Colleges are again in operation, there will be established in each of them a new department, --the School of Silence. In its Professor's chair should be installed, grave and reflective, a Socrates,--if such can now be found,--not destitute himself of the capacity of eloquence, but chastened in oratorical fervor by the domestic declamation of Xanthippe. At the feet of this Professor should be laid the golden statue of Georgia, inventor of extemporaneous eloquence and founder of the school described by Plato as "word weavers." With his foot on this prostrate statue should our Professor sit, and bid his pupils look and shudder at the ruin which gales of speech, let loose by a rhetorical Æolus, have brought upon an afflicted land. Then, in due course of time, another generation will arise, which will appreciate, at the proper value, those representative bodies which, in times like these, di