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ntries; then he explained everything minutely, informed me that I could not make a mistake, it was all so very simple, but damped this encouraging assurance with the reminder, that the general was very particular, and that any blunder of mine would be a disgrace to the regiment; and so we arrived at the parade. There stood the different guards in a long red line; there were the colors, and the band, and the brigade-major; and there, in the distance, overwatching the proceedings like a grim Jupiter, the awful general, and there, too, were a select body of ladies, nursery-maids, and children, who had turned our thus early to see the show, which was pretty enough to those who were not actors therein, or, who, being such actors, knew their parts, and had not sick headaches. I fell in, and the band played, and the colors were paraded up and down, and I got on pretty well until we arrived at a part of the performance where the officers had to march right across the square, in slow time, t
On guard. I confess that on the night when the Hundred-and-Ninth dined with us, I took a great deal more alcoholic drink than I should have done. Mr Gough would say, that was very wrong; I reply, that he is very right. Mr. G. might add, that if there was no such stuff as beer, wine, or spirits to be had, I could not have so erred, and that, therefore, we should pass a Maine Lior Law. I reply that, by the same reasoning; all horses should be converted into sausages, to prevent people from ruining themselves on the turf; that money, which is the root of all evil, should at once be plucked out of human institutions; that if there was no such thing as marriage, there could be no such thing as divorce; and that a community of goods would prevent the possibility of theft. I plead extenuating circumstances: my present life was so new to me. Six months previously, I had been a quiet, dreamy, middle-aged married man, living in the country, and devoted to entomology, when there came
ome one was knocking, with the regular single punch of a Nasmyth hammer, at the door, and that my mouth and throat were too parched to tell him to come in. However, I managed to utter some inarticulate cry, which was properly understood, and Sergeant Thomson entered the room, closed the door, brought his heels together, and saluted. Like an old soldier and an intelligent man as he is, Sergeant Thomson rightly interpreted my glance at the cupboard, and going thither, he produced a bottle of sodaSergeant Thomson rightly interpreted my glance at the cupboard, and going thither, he produced a bottle of soda-water. Pop! wobble, wobble, fissch!--and the sensations of years were crowded into the time it would have taken to count five; for those few seconds, I was in Paradise, but the sergeant soon dashed me to the earth. "You are for guard, sir," said he, taking the empty tumbler from my hand. "For guard! I!" "Yes, sir; Mr. Arundel was taken ill last night, and you come next. The adjutant says you must be on the square in half an hour." "But, but — I have never been on gua
ld soldier and an intelligent man as he is, Sergeant Thomson rightly interpreted my glance at the cupboard, and going thither, he produced a bottle of soda-water. Pop! wobble, wobble, fissch!--and the sensations of years were crowded into the time it would have taken to count five; for those few seconds, I was in Paradise, but the sergeant soon dashed me to the earth. "You are for guard, sir," said he, taking the empty tumbler from my hand. "For guard! I!" "Yes, sir; Mr. Arundel was taken ill last night, and you come next. The adjutant says you must be on the square in half an hour." "But, but — I have never been on guard; that is, I have only been as supernumerary." "Must make a beginning, sir." "I hope I am under a captain. Is it the Dock-yard?" "No, sir, Lockman Dock — the Magazine, as it's called." "Ah, well, the sergeant will tell me what to do; who is he?" "Don't know, sir; we don't find the guard." "What! and who do, t
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