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Maria Edgeworth (search for this): chapter 15
en he refuses to meet it with some slight compliance; as Felix Holt, in George Eliot's story, was willing to die for the improvement of society, but could by no means consent to wear a cravat for its sake. Manners come next to morals, not alone because they help us to make the world pleasanter, and thus render life easier to all around us, but also because they afford a key to those greater successes and usefulnesses for which all generous persons long. And their domain goes beyond this world; for if the utmost saint makes himself personally repulsive, he so far diminishes our desire to meet him in any land of pure delights. Miss Edgeworth says in Helen that any one who makes goodness disagreeable commits high-treason against virtue; and I remember how elevated a doctrine it seemed to me when I heard one of my ignorant black sergeants say, in a prayer I accidentally overheard, Let me so live dat when I die I may hab manners, dat I may know what to say when I see my heabenly Lord!
Recamier (search for this): chapter 15
A charming American woman, the late Mrs. Sidney Brooks of New York, who retained into age all the attractiveness and much even of the physical beauty of her youth, once told me that the secret of the invariable popularity of the celebrated Madame Recamier was that she really felt the universal kindliness she expressed. Mrs. Brooks had been in youth a great favorite of this distinguished French woman, and had been admitted to her society at all times, except when the appearance of a large pair of wooden sabots, or overshoes, outside the door of the boudoir announced that the venerable author M. de Chateaubriand was having an interview. She said that at Madame Recamier's receptions it was always understood that the friends of the hostess must amuse one another, leaving her wholly free to attend to her strangers --mes étrangers, she called them --who, precisely because they were such, needed all the special attention that could be given them. This was surely to unite Tennyson's tw
Francisco Petrarch (search for this): chapter 15
XV. the empire of manners. How delightful it is, when about to be shut up for a week or two on board ship, or in a country hotel, with a party of strangers, to encounter in that company even one person of delightful manners, whose mere presence gives grace and charm, and secures unfailing consideration for the rights and tastes of all! I have once beheld on earth, says Petrarch, in his 123d sonnet, angelic manners and celestial charms, whose very remembrance is a delight and an affliction, since it makes all things else appear but dream and shadow. Most of us have in memory some such charms and manners, not necessarily associated with poetic heroines, and still less with the highest social position. We recall them as something whose mere presence made life more worth living; as distinct an enrichment of nature as fragrant violet beds or the robin's song. All life is sweetened, joys are enhanced, cares diminished, by the presence in the room of a single person of charming man
F. R. Chateaubriand (search for this): chapter 15
and much even of the physical beauty of her youth, once told me that the secret of the invariable popularity of the celebrated Madame Recamier was that she really felt the universal kindliness she expressed. Mrs. Brooks had been in youth a great favorite of this distinguished French woman, and had been admitted to her society at all times, except when the appearance of a large pair of wooden sabots, or overshoes, outside the door of the boudoir announced that the venerable author M. de Chateaubriand was having an interview. She said that at Madame Recamier's receptions it was always understood that the friends of the hostess must amuse one another, leaving her wholly free to attend to her strangers --mes étrangers, she called them --who, precisely because they were such, needed all the special attention that could be given them. This was surely to unite Tennyson's two types of manners — the artificial and the natural — in one. But if no manners are enough which have not the fou
Felix Holt (search for this): chapter 15
son at the bottom of all of them, but there is not time always to explain, and it greatly facilitates that social ease which is the object really aimed at, to accept the habits of society as they are; and not, for instance, to insist on calling for fish with your dessert at a dinner-party, merely because you happen to fancy that combination. Many an ardent and zealous young reformer offends the very world he is burning to reform when he refuses to meet it with some slight compliance; as Felix Holt, in George Eliot's story, was willing to die for the improvement of society, but could by no means consent to wear a cravat for its sake. Manners come next to morals, not alone because they help us to make the world pleasanter, and thus render life easier to all around us, but also because they afford a key to those greater successes and usefulnesses for which all generous persons long. And their domain goes beyond this world; for if the utmost saint makes himself personally repulsive, h
Charles Lamb (search for this): chapter 16
ple simply lay it down, during their insatiate pursuit of their favorite virtue, as rich people lay down their carriage-occasionally --when they go into bankruptcy. But such collateral faults are not the whole evil. There are positive virtues to be cultivated as well as the negative virtue of self-surrender. It is right to do one's own work in the world, to develop one's own powers, to exercise a tonic as well as a soothing influence on those around. That was a profound remark which Charles Lamb made about himself in regard to his close and arduous supervision, for many years, of his partially insane sister. He said — I quote from memory — that though this way of life had saved him from some vices, it had also prevented the formation of many virtues. No person can spend the greater part of his time in a constrained position, or with a tight ligature round some portion of his body, without suffering some physical retribution; and if the constraint and repression are applied to
Socrates (search for this): chapter 16
the greater part of the world may be guilty of selfishness, there are always many who need rather to be condemned for an unreasonable unselfishness, which mars their own lives, and also demoralizes those of other people? Who knows but Blue-Beard himself might have turned out a decent domestic character, and have had his life cherished by his brothers-in-law, had he encountered a spirited resistance, instead of weak concession, from some of his earlier wives? How much of the usefulness of Socrates may have been due to the wholesome rasping that he received from that friend of her race, Xantippe Husbands spoil wives, wives ruin husbands, sisters are absolutely destructive to the characters of brothers, and it is said that brothers in some instances have actually been injurious to sisters, by unmitigated petting under the specious name of unselfishness. It is for this reason that physicians generally recommend a professional nurse rather than a member of the family, not so much that t
Beard (search for this): chapter 16
ery sinner of the family goes home and eats a comfortable dinner undisturbed, the single saint is found fasting and praying, and lies awake that night trying to devise some new point at which she can incur martyrdom. When shall we recognize that while the greater part of the world may be guilty of selfishness, there are always many who need rather to be condemned for an unreasonable unselfishness, which mars their own lives, and also demoralizes those of other people? Who knows but Blue-Beard himself might have turned out a decent domestic character, and have had his life cherished by his brothers-in-law, had he encountered a spirited resistance, instead of weak concession, from some of his earlier wives? How much of the usefulness of Socrates may have been due to the wholesome rasping that he received from that friend of her race, Xantippe Husbands spoil wives, wives ruin husbands, sisters are absolutely destructive to the characters of brothers, and it is said that brothers in
1600 AD (search for this): chapter 17
nd women; yet here he showed that he knew something of women, at least in their influence on men. As a member of the famous French Academy, the Forty immortals --on his election among whom he pleased himself with the thought that there were now only thirty-nine men in France who were wiser than himself-he had reason to recognize what women had done for French literature. The Academie itself, the chief literary association of the world, grew indirectly out of an association of women. When in 1600 the beautiful Catherine dea Pisani was married to the Marquis de Rambonillet, and changed the name of the great mansion which had borne her Italian mother's name to that of Hotel de Rambonillet, she there began a series of literary receptions which lasted half a century, and have been the model of all such gatherings ever since. There Corneille read his tragedies before their public representation, and Bossuet preached there his first sermon. Out of the conversations at the Hotel de Rambou
1697 AD (search for this): chapter 17
contributed by my elder sister. Perhaps if all college boys made similar confessions, we should get some additional light as to the influence of women on style. Nor is it altogether a disadvantage to literature, I suspect, that women have been kept out of academic education while it was narrow and pedantic, and are now being admitted to it after it has become more truly liberal. An extremely clever woman, Mrs. Mary Astell, who wrote A Defense of the female sex nearly two centuries ago (1697) in England, puts this point in a very lively way. I have often thought, she says, that the not teaching Women Latin and Greek was an advantage to then, if it were rightly consider'd, and might be improv'd to a great length. For Girles after they can Read and Write (if they be of any Fashion) are taught such things as take not up their whole time, and not being suffer'd to move about at liberty as Boys, are furnish'd among other Toys with Books, such as Romances, Novels, Plays, and Poems, wh
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