Begin by prescribing to yourself some character and
demeanor, such as you may preserve both alone and
in company.
Be mostly silent; or speak merely what is needful,
and in few words. We may, however, enter sparingly
into discourse sometimes, when occasion calls for it;
but let it not run on any of the common subjects, as
gladiators, or horse-races, or athletic champions, or
food, or drink, -the vulgar topics of conversation;
and especially not on men, so as either to blame, or
praise, or make comparisons. If you are able, then,
by your own conversation, bring over that of your
company to proper subjects; but if you happen to
find yourself among strangers, be silent.
Let not your laughter be loud, frequent, or abundant.
[p. 2233]
Avoid taking oaths, if possible, altogether; at any
rate, so far as you are able.
Avoid public and vulgar entertainments; but if ever
an occasion calls you to them, keep your attention
upon the stretch, that you may not imperceptibly
slide into vulgarity. For be assured that if a person
be ever so pure himself, yet, if his companion be corrupted, he who converses with him will be corrupted
likewise.
Provide things relating to the body no farther than
absolute need requires; as meat, drink, clothing,
house, retinue. But cut off everything that looks
towards show and luxury.
Before marriage, guard yourself with all your ability
from unlawful intercourse with women; yet be not
uncharitable or severe to those who are led into this,
nor frequently boast that you yourself do otherwise.
If any one tells you that such a person speaks ill of
you, do not make excuses about what is said of you,
but answer: "He was ignorant of my other faults,
else he would not have mentioned these alone."
It is not necessary for you to appear often at public
spectacles; but if ever there is a proper occasion for
you to be there, do not appear more solicitous for any
other than for yourself; that is, wish things to be only
just as they are, and only the best man to win; for
thus nothing will go against you. But abstain entirely
from acclamations and derision and violent emotions.
And when you come away, do not discourse a great
[p. 2234]
deal on what has passed, and what contributes nothing to your own amendment. For it would appear
by such discourse that you were dazzled by the
show.
Be not prompt or ready to attend private recitations; but if you do attend, preserve your gravity
and dignity, and yet avoid making yourself disagreeable.
When you are going to confer with any one, and
especially with one who seems your superior, represent to yourself how Socrates or Zeno would behave
in such a case, and you will not be at a loss to meet
properly whatever may occur.
When you are going before any one in power,
fancy to yourself that you may not find him at
home, that you may be shut out, that the doors may
not be opened to you, that he may not notice you.
If, with all this, it be your duty to go, bear what
happens, and never say to yourself, "It was not
worth so much." For this is vulgar, and like a man
bewildered by externals.
In society, avoid a frequent and excessive mention of your own actions and dangers. For however
agreeable it may be to yourself to allude to the risks
you have run, it is not equally agreeable to others to
hear your adventures. Avoid likewise an endeavor
to excite laughter. For this may readily slide you
into vulgarity, and, besides, may be apt to lower you
in the esteem of your acquaintance. Approaches to
[p. 2235]
indecent discourse are likewise dangerous. Therefore when anything of this sort happens, use the first
fit opportunity to rebuke him who makes advances
that way; or, at least, by silence and blushing and
a serious look, show yourself to be displeased by such
talk.
This text is part of:
The Works of Epictetus: His Discourses, in Four Books, the Enchiridion, and Fragments. Epictetus. Thomas Wentworth Higginson. translator. New York. Thomas Nelson and Sons. 1890.
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