Aristophanes, Frogs
Matthew Dillon, Ed.

Pandokeutria
Plathane, Plathane, come here!
Here's the villain that once came to our inn
And ate up sixteen loaves.

Plathane
By Zeus,
That's the very one.

Xanthias
Trouble's here for somebody.

Pandokeutria
And twenty boiled beeves, on top of that,
at half a buck apiece.

Xanthias
Some one will catch it now.

Pandokeutria
Lots of garlic, too.

Dionysus
Surely you jest, good woman;
You don't know what you're saying.

Pandokeutria
What! Did you think that,
because you're wearing those booties, I wouldn't recognise you?

Plathane
What else? I've not yet mentioned the pickled fish,
oh no, and the new cheese, the wretch,
that he devoured baskets and all.

Pandokeutria
Then, when I figured out the price,
He looked straight in my face, and bellowed fierce.

Xanthias
That's his doing all right, it's his manner everywhere.

Pandokeutria
Then he drew his sword, and seemed insane.

Plathane
He did! poor woman!

Pandokeutria
We both were terrified,
We ran up to the loft at once;
but he took off—after grabbing our rugs.

Xanthias
That's his way as well—

Plathane
But we should take some action.

Pandokeutria
Go on and call my patron Cleon.

Plathane
And if you meet Hyperbolus, summon him for me
so we can rub this guy out.

Pandokeutria
Detested throat!
How I'd love to take a rock and smash your molars out,
with which you ate up all my wares.

Plathane
And I could throw you in the deepest pit.

Pandokeutria
And I should like to take a scythe, and slice the throat that swallowed up my tripe.

Plathane
But I'm going after Cleon, who'll deliver a summons
and reel it out of him today.

Dionysus
Now may I die, but, Xanthias, I do love you.

Xanthias
I know what you're thinking, I know; but stop, not another word. I won't be Heracles again.

Dionysus
Don't say that, Xanthias.

Xanthias
How could I ever be
Alcmene's son, since I'm a slave and mortal too?

Dionysus
I know you're angry, I know, and you've every right to be.
Even if you beat me, I'd never contradict you.
But if I ever take anything from you in time to come,
may I be cut off root and branch! May I myself, my wife, my children perish, and cock-eyed Archedemus, all together!

Xanthias
I accept the oath, and on these terms I'll take them.