30.
[72]
I will now reply to you, O Laterensis, perhaps less vigorously than I have
been attacked by you and certainly in a manner not more destitute of
consideration for, or of friendly feeling towards you than your manner was
towards me. For in the first place that was rather a harsh thing for you to
say, that in what I was saying about Plancius I was speaking falsely, and
inventing statements to suit the emergency. I suppose, forsooth, I, like a
wise man, planned how I might appear bound to another by the greatest bonds
of kindness and gratitude when I was in reality a free man and under no
obligation at all. Why need I have done so? Had I not plenty of reasons
besides for defending Plancius? were not my own intimacy with
him, my neighbourhood to him, and my friendship for his father, sufficiently
cogent motives? And even if they had not existed, I had reason to fear, I
suppose, lest I should be doing a discreditable thing in defending a man of
his high respectability and worth. It must have been a very clever idea of
mine to pretend that I owed everything to that man who was about to owe
everything to me! But this is a thing which even common soldiers do against
their will, and they are reluctant to give a civic crown to a citizen, and
to confess that they have been saved by any one; not because it is
discreditable to have been protected in battle, or to be saved out of the
hands of the enemy, (for in truth that is a thing which can only happen to a
brave man, and to one fighting hand to hand with the enemy,) but they dread
the burden of the obligation, because it is an enormous thing to be under
the same obligation to a stranger that one is to a parent.
[73]
But because others deny kindnesses which they have
received, even when they are of less importance, in order not to appear
under any obligation, am I on that account speaking falsely, when I say that
I am bound to a man by his previous services done to me, for which it is
quite impossible for me to make any adequate return? Are you ignorant of
this, O Laterensis?—you who being, as you were, a great friend of
mine, and willing to share with me even the danger with which my life was at
that time threatened,—when you had escorted me in that hope of my
sad and bitter agony and departure from the city not only with your tears,
but also with your courage and your person, and with all your
resources,—when you had in my absence defended with all your
means, and all your power of protection, my children and my wife, were
always pressing this statement upon me, that you willingly allowed and
granted that I should employ all my zeal in contributing to the honour of
Cnaeus Plancius because you said that the services which he had done me were
acceptable to you yourself also.
[74]
And is not even that oration, which is the first which I made in the senate
after my return, a proof that I am saying nothing new now,—nothing
just to meet the emergency? For as in that I returned thanks to very few by
name, because it was quite impossible to enumerate all those who had served
me, (and it would have been a crime to press over any one,)
and because I had therefore laid down a rule for myself to name those men
only who had been the leaders and standard-bearers as it were in our cause;
still among them I returned thanks to Plancius by name. Let the oration be
read—which, on account of the importance of the business was
pronounced from a written paper, in which I, cunning fellow that I must have
been, gave myself up to a man to whom I was under no very great obligation
and bound myself to the slavery of this duty which I am now discharging by
this undying testimony against myself. I do not wish to recite the other
things which I committed to writing. I pass them over, that I may not seem
to bring them up now on this emergency, or to avail myself of that
description of learning which appears to be more suitable to my private
studies than to the usages of courts of justice.
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