CDII (A X, 18)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
CUMAE, 19 MAY
My Tullia was confined on the 19th of
May—a boy, a seven months' child. I have
reason to be thankful that she had a good
delivery. The child itself is a poor little
weakling. An astonishingly dead calm has as yet
kept me from starting, and has been a greater
impediment than the watch kept upon me. For all
that talk of Hortensius was mere persiflage. The
truth will turn out to be this: that most
dissolute of men has been corrupted by his
freedman Salvius. 1
Accordingly, henceforth I shall not write and tell
you what I am going to do, but only what I have
done. For all the eavesdroppers of Corycus 2 seem to be listening to what I say. Do
you, however, I beg, continue to tell me any news
there are of Spain, or anything else; but don't
expect a letter from me, except when I have
arrived at my wished-for destination, or in case I
can send anything during my voyage. Even this I
write with fear and trembling: so slowly and
heavily does everything drag on. The foundation
was badly laid, the rest follows suit. I am now
making for Formiae: perhaps the Furies will follow
me there too. 3 However, to judge from
Balbus's conversation with you, my idea of Malta
does not find favour. Can you doubt, therefore,
that he regards me as an enemy? I have, to be
sure, written to Balbus telling him that you had
mentioned to me in a letter both his kindly
feeling and his suspicion. I thanked him. On the
second point I cleared myself with him. Did you
ever know anyone more unlucky? I
won't say more, lest I should make you suffer too.
I am overpowered with the thought that the time
has come when I no longer have the power of acting
either with courage or with prudence.
CUMAE, 19 MAY