DLXXXI (A XII, 38.3-4)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
ASTURA (7 MAY)
You think that by this time my composure of
spirit ought to be en evidence, and you say that
certain persons speak with more severity of me
than either you or Brutus repeat in your letters:
if anybody supposes me to be crushed in spirit and
unmanned, let them know the amount of my literary
labours and their nature. I believe, if they are
only reasonable men, they would think, if I am so
far recovered as to bring a disengaged mind to
writing on difficult subjects, that I am not open
to their criticism; or if I have selected a
diversion from sorrow in the highest degree noble
and worthy of a scholar, that I even deserve to be
praised. But though I do everything I can to
relieve my sorrow, pray bring to a conclusion what
I see that you are as much concerned about as I am
myself. I regard this as a debt, the burden of
which cannot be lightened unless I pay it, or see
a possibility of paying it, that is, unless I find
a site such as I wish. If Scapula's heirs, as you
say that Otho told you, think of cutting up the
pleasure-grounds into four lots, and bidding for
them between themselves, there is of course no
room for a purchaser. But if they are to come into
the market we will see what can be done. For that
ground once belonging to Publicius, and now to
Trebonius and Cusinius, has been suggested to me.
But you know it is a town building site. I don't
like it at all. Clodia's I like very much, but I
don't think they are for sale. As to Drusus's
pleasure-grounds, though you say that you dislike
them, I shall take refuge in them after all,
unless you find something. I don't mind the
building, for I shall build nothing that I should
not build even if I don't have them. "Cyrus, books
IV and V" pleased me about as much as the other
works of Antisthenes 1 —a
man of acuteness rather than of learning.
ASTURA (7 MAY)
