CCCLVIII (A IX, 5)
TO ATTICUS (AT ROME)
FORMIAE, 10 MARCH
ON your birthday 1 you wrote me a letter full of
advice, and not only shewing the greatest kindness
to me, but also the most admirable wisdom.
Philotimus delivered it to me the day after
receiving it from you. The points you put are
indeed of extreme difficulty—the journey
to the Upper Sea, a voyage by the Lower, a
departure to Arpinum, lest I should seem to have
avoided Caesar, a continuance at Formiae, lest I
should seem to have put myself forward to
congratulate him— but nothing is more
distressing than the sight of those things, which,
I tell you, must before long be seen. Curtius
Postumus has been with me: I told you how
oppressive he was. Q. Fufius also has been to see
me. What a triumphant look! What assurance! Post
haste for Brundisium: denouncing the crime of
Pompey, the recklessness and folly of the senate.
If I can't stand such things in my own villa,
shall I be able to put up with Curtius in the
senate-house? But suppose me to endure this with
good temper, what will be the sequel of the usual
"Speak, Marcus Tullius" ? 2 To say
nothing of the Republican cause, which I look upon
as lost, both from the wounds inflicted on it and
the cures prepared for them, what am I to do about
Pompey? With whom—for why should I deny
it ?-I am downright angry. For I am always more
affected by the causes of events than by the
events themselves. Therefore, turning over these
disastrous events in my mind—and what
could be more disastrous!-or rather, coming to the
conclusion that they are his doing and his fault,
I feel more hostile to him than to Caesar himself:
just as our ancestors decided that the day of the
battle of the Allia was more fatal than that of
the capture of the city, because the latter evil
was the result of the former; and accordingly the
one day is even now regarded as accursed, while
the other is generally unknown—so I,
remembering the errors of ten years, among which
was also that year which ruined me, without his
defending me (not to put it more strongly), and
being fully aware of the rashness, incompetence,
and carelessness of the present management, felt
my anger growing. But that is all forgotten now.
It is of his kindness that I think, and also of my
own position. I understand-later, indeed, than I
could have wished, thanks to the letters and
conversations of Balbus—I see plainly, I
repeat, that the one object now, nay, the one
object from the beginning, was the death of
Pompey. As for me, therefore, since Homer's hero,
when his goddess mother said to him, "For next to
Hector's death thy doom is fixed," answered his
mother: “
Death, then! since fate allowed me not to
saveFORMIAE, 10 MARCH
The friend I loved.
” 3 What should I do for one who was not merely a "friend," but a "benefactor" also? One, too, of such a great character, and engaged in such a great cause? Why, in truth, I regard such duties as worth the loss of life. In your Optimates, however, I have no sort of confidence, and henceforth do not devote myself either to their service. I see how they are surrendering themselves to Caesar, and will continue to do so in the future. Do you suppose that those decrees of the municipalities as to Pompey's illness 4 are to be compared with these congratulations now offered to Caesar on his victory? "All terror," you will say. Yes, but they themselves assert that they were alarmed on the former occasion. However, let us wait to see what has happened at Brundisium, Perhaps from that may come a change of plan and in the tone of my letters.
