CCXXVIII (F VII, 32)
TO P. VOLUMNIUS EUTRAPELUS (AT
ROME)
CILICIA (DECEMBER)
Owing to your having in
familiar style, as you were quite entitled to do,
dropped your praenomen in your letter to me, I was
at first doubtful whether it did not come from
Volumnius the senator, with whom I am very
intimate, but presently the εὐτραπελία of the letter itself
convinced, me that it was yours. 1 In that letter I was delighted with
everything except this: you are not shewing
yourself a very energetic agent in maintaining my
rights in my mines of (Attic) salt. For you say
that, ever since my departure, everybody's
bons mots, and among
those even Sestius's, 2 are fathered on me. What! do
you allow that? Don't you stand up for me? Don't
you protest? Why, I did hope that I had left my
bons mots with such a
clear stamp on them, that their style might be
recognized at a glance. But as there is so much
scum in the city, that nothing can be so graceless
as not to seem graceful 3 to some one, do your best, an you
love me, to maintain, on your solemn affidavit,
4 that they are none of
mine, unless sharp double meaning, subtle
hyperbole, neat pun, laughable παρὰ
προσδοκίαν—unless everything
else, in fact, which I set forth in the person of
Antonius in my second book de
Oratore, 5 shall appear
en
réglé and really
witty. For as to your complaints about the law
courts I care much less. Let all the defendants,
for what I care, go hang! If Selius himself is
eloquent enough to establish his freedom, I don't
trouble myself. But my prerogative of wit, please
let us defend by any amount of injunctions. In
that department you are the only rival I fear: I
don't think anything of the rest. Do you suppose I
am laughing at you? I never knew before that you
were so sharp! But, by Hercules, joking apart, I
did think your letter very witty and neatly
turned. But those particular stories, 6
laughable as they in fact were, did not, all the
same, make me laugh. For I am anxious that the
friend to whom you refer should have as much
weight as possible in his tribuneship, both for
his own sake—for, as you
know, he is a great favourite of
mine—and also, by Hercules, for that of
the Republic, which, however, ungrateful to myself
it may be, I shall never cease to love. You,
however, my dear Volumnius, since you have begun
doing so, and now see also that it gives me
pleasure, write to me as often as possible about
affairs in the city, about politics. I like the
gossiping style of your letter.
Farther—more, speak seriously to
Dolabella, whom I see and believe to be very
anxious for my regard, and to be most
affectionately disposed towards me: encourage him
in that disposition, and make him wholly mine;
not, by Hercules, that there is anything lacking
in him, but as I am very much set upon it, I don't
think I am showing too much anxiety.
CILICIA (DECEMBER)