[
92]
much repressed.
To common observers I seem well placed here, but I know that it is not so, and that I have had more than average difficulties to encounter, some of them insurmountable.
But from these difficulties I have learned so much that I cannot but suppose my experience is to be of further use.
I do not wish to teach again at all. If I consult my own wishes I shall employ the remainder of my life in quite a different manner.
But 1 foresee circumstances that may make it wrong for me to obey my wishes.
Mother has sold her place at
Groton, and as she is to leave it in April, I shall go home and stay three months at least.
I dream of Elysian peace, of quiet growth, and other benefits no doubt well-known to your imagination.
Then I hope to prevail on her to board with Ellen and me, and send the boys to school for some months.
But after that we must find a sure foothold on the earth somewhere and plan anew a home.
But this leaves me nearly a year for my own inventions.
If at the end of that time it should seem necessary for the good of all concerned that 1 should teach again, I wish to do it, and by the success I have already attained, and by the confidence I now feel in my powers, both of arrangement of a whole and action on parts, feel myself justified in thinking I may do it to much greater pecuniary advantage and with much more extensive good results to others than I have yet done.
in December, 1838.
This was the end of her school-teaching, though she continued to take occasional private pupils in languages