Courting.
--Courting is a luxury, it is sallad, it is rise water, it is the pal spell of the soul.
The man who has never courted has lived in vain; he has been a blind man among landscapes; he has been a deff man in the land or hand-organs, and by the side of murmuring canals.
Courting is like two little springs or water that steal out from under a rock at the foot or a mountain, and runs down the hill side by side, singing and dansing and spattering each other, eddying and frothing and kaskading, now hiding under the bank; now full of shedder, till bimeby the jins and then the go slow.
I am in favor or long courting; it gives the parties a chance to find out each uther's trump cards, it is good exercise, and is just as innermost as two marina lambs.
Courting is like strawberries and cream — wants to be did slow, then you get the flavor.
I have saw folks git acquainted, fall in luv, git married, settle down and git tew wurk in three weeks from date.
This is jist the way sum folks larn a trade — akounts for the grate number of almitey mean mechanicks we hav, and the poor jobs the turn out. Perhaps it is best if I should state sum good advise tew voting men who are about to court with a final view to matrimony, as it was.
The fust thing is to fine out how old she is, which you can dew hi asking her, and she will say that she is nineteen years old, and this you will find wont be far from out ov the wa.
The next best thing is to begin to moderate; say onse every nite in the week for the fust six months, increasing the dose as the patient seems to require.
It is a fust rate wa to court the girl's mother a little on the start.
After the fust year yu will begin to be well acquainted and will begin to like the business.
There is one thing I alwas advize, and that iz not to swop fotographs often than once in ten days, unless you forget how the gad looks.
Okashionally yu want tew look sorry and draw in yure wind us tho yu had pain; this will set the girl to teezing yu tew find out what ails yu.
As a general thing I wouldn't brag on other gals much when I was courting.
It might look as the yu knu tew much.
If you will court three years in this wa, if yu don tea it iz a leetle the slieleest time in yure life, you can get measured for a hat at my expense, and pa for it.
Don't court for munny, nor buty, nor relashuns!
these things are just about as the keroseneile refining bizziness, liable tew get out of repair and bust at enny minute; court a gal for fun, for the luv yu bear her, for the vartue and bizziness there iz in her!
court her for a wife and mother; court her as you would court a farm for the strength ov the sile and the perseskshun ov the title; court her as tho she want a fule and yu nuther; court her in the kitchen and in the parlor, over the wash tub and at the planner; court this wa, young man, and if yu don't git a good wife the fault won't be in the cointing.
Young man, you can rely upon
Josh Billings, and if you kant make these rules wurk, jist send for him, and he will show yu how the thing iz did it shaut cost yu a cent.--
Josh Billings. 
