T. Maccius Plautus, Mercator, or The Merchant
Henry Thomas Riley, Ed.

DEMIPHO
to himself . In wondrous ways¹ do the Gods make sport of men, and in wondrous fashions do they send dreams in sleep. As, for instance, I, this very last night that has passed, have sufficiently experienced in my sleep, and, mortal that I am, was much occupied therewith. I seemed to have purchased for myself a beautiful she-goat. That she might not offend that other she-goat which I had at home before, and that they mightn't disagree if they were both in the same spot, after that I had purchased her, I seemed to entrust her to the charge of an ape. This ape, not very long afterwards, came to me, uttered imprecations against me, and assailed me with reproaches; he said that by her means and through the arrival of the she-goat he had suffered injury and loss in no slight degree; he said that the she-goat, which I had entrusted to him to keep, had gnawed away the marriage-portion of his wife. This seemed extremely wonderful to me, how that this single she-goat could possibly have gnawed away² the marriage-portion of the wife of the ape. The ape, however, insisted that it was so, and, in short, gave me this answer, that if I didn't make baste and remove her away from his own house, he would bring her home into my house to my wife. And, by my troth, I seemed very greatly to take an interest in her, but not to have any one to whom to entrust this she-goat; wherefore the more, in my distress, was I tormented with anxiety what to do. Meanwhile, a kid appeared to address me, and began to tell me that he had carried off the she-goat from the ape, and began to laugh at me. But I began to lament and complain that she was carried off. To what reality I am to suppose that this vision points, I can't discover; except that I suspect that I have just now discovered this she-goat, what she is, or what it all means. This morning, at daybreak, I went away hence down to the harbour. After I had transacted there what I wanted, suddenly I espied the ship from Rhodes, in which my son arrived here yesterday. I had an inclination, I know not why, to visit it; I went on board a boat, and put off to the ship; and there I beheld a woman of surpassing beauty, whom my son has brought as a maid-servant for his mother. After I had thus beheld her, I fell in love with her, not as men in their senses, but after the fashion in which madmen are wont. I' faith, in former times, in my youthful days, I fell in love, 'tis true; but after this fashion, according as I'm now distracted, never. Now beyond a doubt, surely thus this matter stands; this is that she-goat. But what that ape and that kid mean, I'm afraid. One thing, i' faith, I really do know for certain, that I'm undone for love; to the AUDIENCE consider yourselves the other point, what a poor creature I am³. But I'll hold my tongue; lo! I see my neighbour; he's coming out of doors. Stands aside.