[
149]
and when I asked him if he had prayed, he said he had not, that he had been upon his knees, but could not pray, and added that his nature must be more paralyzed and things even worse with him than he had supposed.
I saw that another Teacher and Physician had taken the case out of my hand.
He rather clung to me, but I thought best to leave him with his new Teacher, and I did.
Two of our comrades were killed and horribly mangled by solid shot or whole shell in our
Chancellorsville fights, and we buried one of them at night in a thicket.
Returning there after the burying party had withdrawn, I saw a man on his knees at the graveside.
It was
Allan, and at my approach he rose and advanced to meet me, saying:
Bob, I am a mystery to myself.
I don't see how I am to go up to the gun in to-morrow's fight and face temporal and eternal death; and yet I presume I shall be able to do my duty.
I said decidedly:
You have no business, Allan, and no need to face eternal death.
That is not before you, unless you will have it so.
We said a few words to each other, a few more to God, went back and joined the sad circle around the camp fire a short while, and then laid down together.
I think I told him about Billy, and then we slept.
The next day, after evening roll call, we each put an arm around the other's waist and walked off into the woods, and as soon as we got out of earshot of others I began:
Well, Allan, to go back where we left off-
He put his other hand in mine and I felt a thrill as he did so, while, with the sweetest smile, he said:
No, Bob, I don't think we will go back there.
I've gotten beyond that point, and I don't like going back.
I have found the Lord Jesus Christ, or, rather, He has found me and taken hold of me.
It was the largest, the most thrilling moment of my life.
Never before had I been conscious of such overpowering spiritual joy. We were for the moment two disembodied