I know you are now.
--We heard a good story some time ago, concerning "Abe Linkum
," which we do not remember to have seen in print.
As goes report, Abe is very fond of the grape in a liquid form, and to such an extent that he frequently navigates, in returning to his domicil, as though he was laying a plan for some one of our zigzag fences.
His wife, like all good wives, never attends the celebration of the Feast of Bacchus
, neither does she admire his too faithful followers; and never admits her liege lord to her bosom when he has been too active a participator in the feasts.
It so happened that one night he had been out to a political meeting, and was returning at a very late hour.
He approached the door and knocked.
His wife came to the door and said, "I know you, Mr. Lincoln
; be off; how often have I told you not to come home when you are drunk?"-- "No, wife, I am not drunk" "But you are, Mr. Lincoln
; be off." "Wife, I am not drunk, but have got some of the most glorious news to tell you." "Well, what is it," said Mrs. Lincoln
. "Why, I've been nominated for the highest office on earth — for President
of the United States
!" "Be off, be off be off," said Mrs Lincoln
, " I know you're drunk now!
" The consequence was, Abe had to assist the stars in their nocturnal vigils.