Aristophanes, Plutus
Eugene O'Neill, Jr., Ed.

Wife
Oh! don't throw anything at my head.

Cario
Not even the happiness that has come to you?

Wife
No, no, nothing ... to annoy me.

Cario
Having arrived near to the temple with our patient, then so unfortunate, [655] but now at the apex of happiness, of blessedness, we first led him down to the sea to purify him.

Wife
Ah! what a singular pleasure for an old man to bathe in the cold sea-water!

Cario
in the manner of the tragic messenger
Then we repaired to the temple of the god. [660] Once the wafers and the various offerings had been consecrated upon the altar, and the cake of wheaten-meal had been handed over to the devouring Hephaestus, we made Plutus lie on a couch according to the rite, and each of us prepared himself a bed of leaves.

Wife
Had any other folk come to beseech the deity?

Cario
[665] Yes. Firstly, Neoclides, who is blind, but steals much better than those who see clearly; then many others attacked by complaints of all kinds. The lights were put out and [670] the priest enjoined us to sleep, especially recommending us to keep silent should we hear any noise. There we were all lying down quite quietly. I could not sleep; I was thinking of a certain stew-pan full of pap placed close to an old woman and just behind her head. [675] I had a furious longing to slip towards that side. But just as I was lifting my head, I noticed the priest, who was sweeping off both the cakes and the figs on the sacred table; then he made the round of the altars [680] and sanctified the cakes that remained, by stowing them away in a bag. I therefore resolved to follow such a pious example and made straight for the pap.

Wife
You rogue! and had you no fear of the god?

Cario
[685] Aye, indeed! I feared that the god with his crown on his head might have been near the stew-pan before me. I said to myself, “Like priest, like god.” On hearing the noise I made, the old woman put out her hand, but I hissed [690] and bit it, just as a sacred serpent might have done. Quick she drew back her hand, slipped down into the bed with her head beneath the coverlets and never moved again; only she let flee a fart in her fear which stank worse than a weasel. As for myself, I swallowed a goodly portion of the pap [695] and, having made a good feed, went back to bed.