Aristophanes, Wasps
Eugene O'Neill, Jr., Ed.

Dog
Bow wow! bow wow!

Bdelycleon
Here he is.

Philocleon
Why, he's another Labes, a great barker and a licker of dishes.

Bdelycleon
as Herald
[905] Silence! Keep your seats! To the Cydathenaean dog. And you, up on your feet and accuse him.

Philocleon
Go on, and I will help myself and eat these lentils.

Sosias
Gentlemen of the jury, listen to this indictment I have drawn up. He has committed the blackest of crimes, against both me and the seamen. [910] He sought refuge in a dark corner to glutton on a big Sicilian cheese, with which he sated his hunger.

Philocleon
Why, the crime is clear; the filthy brute this very moment belched forth a horrible odour of cheese right under my nose.

Sosias
And he refused to share with me. [915] And yet can anyone style himself your benefactor, when he does not cast a morsel to your poor dog?

Philocleon
He has not shared anything, not even with his comrade. His madness is as hot as my lentils.

Bdelycleon
In the name of the gods, father! [920] No hurried verdict without hearing the other side!

Philocleon
But the evidence is plain; the fact speaks for itself.

Dog
Then beware of acquitting the most selfish of canine gluttons, who has devoured the whole cheese, [925] rind and all, prowling round the platter.

Philocleon
There is not even enough left for me to fill up the chinks in my pitcher.

Dog
Besides, you must punish him, because the same house cannot keep two thieves. Let me not have barked in vain, [930] else I shall never bark again.

Philocleon
Oh! the black deeds he has just denounced! What a shameless thief! Say, cock, is not that your opinion too? Ha, ha! He thinks as I do. [935] Here, Thesmothetes! where are you? Hand me the thunder-mug.

Bdelycleon
Get it yourself. I go to call the witnesses; these are a plate, a pestle, a cheese knife, a brazier, a stew-pot and other half-burnt utensils. To Philocleon [940] But you have not finished? you are piddling away still! Have done and be seated.

Philocleon
Ha, ha! I reckon I know somebody who will crap for fright to-day.

Bdelycleon
Will you never cease showing yourself hard and intractable, and especially to the accused? You tear them to pieces tooth and nail.

To Labes
Come forward and defend yourself. What means this silence? Answer.

Philocleon
[945] No doubt he has nothing to say.

Bdelycleon
Not at all, I think he has got what happened once to Thucydides in court; his jaws suddenly set fast. Get away! I will undertake your defence. — [950] Gentlemen of the jury, it is a difficult thing to speak for a dog who has been calumniated, but nevertheless I will try. He is a good dog, and he chases wolves finely.