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Enter DORIPPA.
DORIPPA
to herself . Since a messenger came to me in the country from my husband, that he couldn't come into the country, I made up my mind, and came back to follow after him who fled from me. But looking round I don't see our old woman Syra following. Aye, look, there she comes at last. with a bundle of green sprigs. DORIPPA
Why don't you go quicker? SYRA
By my troth, I cannot; so great is this burden that I'm carrying. DORIPPA
What burden? SYRA
Fourscore years and four, and to that are added servitude, sweat, and thirst; these things as well which I am carrying weigh me down. DORIPPA
Give me something, Syra, with which to decorate this altar of our neighbour1. SYRA
holding out a sprig . Present this sprig of laurel, then. DOR. Now do you go into the house. SYRA
I'm going. Goes into the house of LYSIMACHUS. DORIPPA
laying the sprig on the altar . Apollo, I pray thee that thou wilt propitiously grant peace, safety, and health, unto our household, and that in thy propitiousness thou wilt show favour to my son. rushes out of the house, clapping her hands. SYRA
I'm utterly undone! Wretch that I am, I'm ruined! Ah! wretched me! DORIPPA
Prithee, are you quite in your senses? What are you howling for? SYRA
Dorippa, my dear Dorippa! DORIPPA
Prithee, why are you crying out? SYRA
Some woman, I know not who, is here in-doors in the house. DORIPPA
What? A woman? SYRA
A harlot woman. DORIPPA
Is it so, really? SYRA
In serious truth. You know how to act very prudently, in not remaining in the country. A fool even could have found it out that she was the mistress of your very pretty husband. DORIPPA
By heavens, I believe it. SYRA
taking her arm . Step this way with me, that you, my Juno, may see as well your rival Alcmena. DORIPPA
I' troth, I certainly shall go there, as fast as I can. They go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.
Enter LYSIMACHUS.
LYSIMACHUS
to himself . Is this too little of a misfortune that Demipho's in love, that he must be extravagant as well? If he had been inviting ten men of highest rank to dinner, he has provided too much. But the cooks he directed in such a way just as at sea the time-keeper2 is wont to direct the rowers. I hired a Cook myself, but I'm surprised that he hasn't come as I directed him. But who's this, I wonder, that's coming out of my house? The door's opening. He stands aside.
Enter DORIPPA, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.
DORIPPA
weeping . No woman ever will be, or ever has been, more wretched than myself in being married to such a husband. Alas! unhappy that I am! Just see, to what a husband have you committed yourself and the property you have! Just see, to what a person I brought ten talents for a portion; that I should see these things, that I should endure these insults. LYSIMACHUS
behind . I' troth, I'm undone; my wife's returned from the country already. I do believe she has seen the damsel in the house. But what she says I cannot distinctly hear from hence; I'll go nearer to her. Approaches her. DORIPPA
Ah! woe to wretched me! LYSIMACHUS
behind . Aye, and to me as well. DORIPPA
I'm utterly undone! LYSIMACHUS
behind . As for me, i' faith, to my sorrow I'm downright undone! she has seen her. May all the Gods confound you, Demipho! DORIPPA
I' troth, this was it, why my husband wouldn't go into the country. LYSIMACHUS
behind . What shall I do now, but go up and speak to her? Goes up to her. The husband bids health to his wife. Are the country people3 becoming townsfolk? DORIPPA
They are acting more decently than those who are not become country people. LYSIMACHUS
Are the people in the country at all in fault? DORIPPA
I' faith, less so than the townsfolk, and much less mischief do they meet with for themselves. LYSIMACHUS
But in what have the townsfolk done wrong? Tell me that. DORIPPA
Whose woman is that in the house? LYSIMACHUS
What, have you seen her? DORIPPA
I have seen her. LYSIMACHUS
Whose is she, do you ask? DORIPPA
I shall find out, in spite of you; i' faith, I long to know. But you are trying me on purpose. LYSIMACHUS
Do you wish me to tell you whose she is? She, she---- Aside. Ah me! upon my faith, I don't know what to say. DORIPPA
Do you hesitate? LYSIMACHUS
aside . I never saw one who did it more. DORIPPA
But why don't you tell me? LYSIMACHUS
Nay, but if I may---- DORIPPA
You ought to tell me. LYSIMACHUS
I cannot, you hurry me so; you press me as though were guilty. DORIPPA
ironically . I know you are free from all guilt. LYSIMACHUS
Speak out as boldly as you please. DORIPPA
Tell me, then. LYSIMACHUS
I, tell you? DORIPPA
Why, it must be told, in spite of everything. LYSIMACHUS
She is---- Do you wish me tell her name as well? DORIPPA
You are trifling. I've caught you in the fact; you are guilty. LYSIMACHUS
Guilty of what? If now I had no occasion for silence, now I shouldn't tell you4. Why, this same woman is -- DORIPPA
Who is she? LYSIMACHUS
She---- DORIPPA
Marry, come up! don't you know who she is? LYSIMACHUS
Why, yes, I do know. I've been chosen as an arbitrator with respect to her. DORIPPA
An arbitrator? Now I know; you have invited her here to consult with you. LYSIMACHUS
Why no; she has been given me as a deposit. DORIPPA
ironically . I understand. LYSIMACHUS
By my troth, it's not anything of that sort. DORIPPA
You are clearing yourself too soon5. LYSIMACHUS
aside . Too much of a business have I met with; really I'm stuck fast.
Enter a COOK, at a distance, with SCULLIONS and provisions.
A COOK.
Make haste, get quickly on, for I've got to cook a dinner for an old gentleman in love. And, in fact, when I think of it again, it's to be cooked for ourselves, not him for whom we've been hired: for a person that's in love, if he has that with which he is in love, he esteems that as food, to see her, embrace her, kiss her, chat with her; but we, I trust, shall return well laden home. Step this way. But see, here's the old gentleman that hired us. LYSIMACHUS
aside . Why, look! I'm undone! here's the Cook. A COOK.
going up to LYSIMACHUS . We are come. LYSIMACHUS
Be off! A COOK.
How, be off? LYSIMACHUS
in a low voice . Hush! Be off! A COOK.
What, I, be off? LYSIMACHUS
Be off, I say. A COOK.
Are you not going to have a dinner? LYSIMACHUS
We are full already. DORIPPA
But---- LYSIMACHUS
aside . I'm utterly undone. DORIPPA
What say you? Have those persons ordered these things to be brought to you as well, between whom you were appointed arbitrator? A COOK.
Is this person pointing to DORIPPA your mistress, whom a little time since you told me you were in love with, when you were buying the provisions? LYSIMACHUS
Won't you hold your tongue? A COOK.
A very pretty figure of a woman.! I' faith, she does love a sweetheart. LYSIMACHUS
Won't you be off to perdition? A COOK.
She's not amiss. LYSIMACHUS
But you are amiss. A COOK.
I' troth, I do fancy she's a nice bed-fellow. LYSIMACHUS
Won't you be off? I'm not the person that hired you just now. A COOK.
How's that? Nay but, upon my faith, you are that very man. LYSIMACHUS
aside . Alas wretch that I am! A COOK.
Your wife's in the country, I suppose, whom you were saying a little time ago you hated full as much as vipers. LYSIMACHUS
I, said that to you? A COOK.
Aye, to me, upon my faith. LYSIMACHUS
So may Jupiter love me, wife, I never did say that. DORIPPA
Do you deny that as well? A COOK.
to DORIPPA . He didn't say he hated you, but his wife. DORIPPA
This is made clear, that you detest me. LYSIMACHUS
But I deny it. A COOK.
And he said that his wife was in the country. LYSIMACHUS
pointing to DORIPPA . This is she. Why are you annoying me? A COOK.
Because you say that you don't know me. Are you afraid of her? LYSIMACHUS
I'm wise in being so; for she's my only companion. A COOK.
Do you wish to use my services? LYSIMACHUS
I don't wish. A COOK.
Give me my pay. LYSIMACHUS
Ask for it to-morrow; it shall be given you; for the present, be off. Aside. Alas, wretch that I am! I now find that that old saying is a true one, that some bad comes through a bad neighbour. A COOK.
to the SCULLIONS . Why are we standing here? LYSIMACHUS
Why don't you be gone? A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . If any inconvenience happens to you, that's not my fault. LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . Why, you are utterly ruining wretched me A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . I understand now what you want. You mean, you wish me to go away from here. LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . I do wish it, I say. A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . I'll be off. Pay me a drachma. LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . It shall be paid. A COOK.
aside to LYSIMACHUS . Then order it to be paid me, please. It can be paid in the meantime, while they are putting down the provisions. LYSIMACHUS
aside to the COOK . Why don't you be off? Can't you cease being troublesome? Slips the money into his hand. A COOK.
to the SCULLIONS . Come, do you set down those provisions before the feet of that old gentleman. These baskets I'll order to be fetched from your house either by-and-by or else to-morrow. To the SCULLIONS. Do you follow me. Exeunt, having set down the provisions. LYSIMACHUS
Perhaps you are surprised at that Cook, that he came and brought these things. I'll tell you why it is. DORIPPA
I'm not surprised if you do anything wrongful or criminal; and, by heavens, I'll not put up with it, that I am married thus unfortunately, and that harlots are brought into my house in this way. Syra, go ask my father, in my name, to come here directly together with you. SYRA
I'll go. LYSIMACHUS
Prithee, wife, you don't know what the matter is. In set form now will I make oath, that I have never had anything to do with her. Exit SYRA. What, is Syra gone now? By heaven, I'm undone! DORIPPA goes into the house. LYSIMACHUS
to himself . But, see, she's off as well! Woe to wretched me! Then, neighbour Demipho, may the Gods and Goddesses confound you, together with your mistress and your intriguings! He has most unjustly loaded me with suspicions; he has stirred up enemies against me. At home my wife is most infuriated. I'll be off to the Forum, and tell this to Demipho, that I'll drag this woman by the hair into the street, unless he takes her hence out of this house wherever he chooses. Goes to the door and calls. Hark you! wife, wife! although you're angry at me, you'll order, if you are wise, these things to be carried hence indoors. We shall be able by-and-by to dine all the better upon the same.
Enter SYRA and EUTYCHUS, at a distance, on opposite sides.
SYRA
to herself . Whither my mistress sent me, to her father ----, he's not at home; they said that he has gone off into the country. Now, I'll take home this answer. I' faith, the women do live upon hard terms, and, wretched creatures, on much more unjust ones than the men. For if a husband has been keeping a mistress without the knowledge of his wife, if the wife comes to know it, the husband gets off with impunity; if, unknown to the husband, the wife goes from the house out of doors, a pretext arises for the husband, the marriage is dissolved6. I wish the law was the same for the husband as for the wife; for the wife that is a good one, is content with one husband; why, any the less, should the husband be content with one wife? By my troth, I'd give cause, if men were punished in the same way (if any one should be keeping a mistress unknown to his wife), as those women are repudiated who are guilty of a slip, that there should be more divorced men than there are women now. EUTYCHUS
to himself, apart . I'm quite tired with hunting the whole city through; I find nothing whatever about this woman. But my mother has returned from the country; for I see Syra standing before the house. Syra! SYRA
Who is it that's calling me? EUTYCHUS
'Tis I, your master and foster-child. SYRA
turning round . Save you, my foster-child. EUT. Has my mother returned from the country then? Answer me. SYRA
Aye, for her own especial sake and that of the family. EUTYCHUS
What is it that's the matter? SYRA
That very pretty father of yours has brought a mistress into the house. EUTYCHUS
How say you? SYRA
Your mother, on arriving from the country, found her at home. EUTYCHUS
By my troth, I didn't think my father was a person for those practices. Is the woman now even still in-doors? SYRA
Even still. EUTYCHUS
Do you follow me. He goes into the house of LYSIMACHUS. [ SYRA
to herself . How now7? Do I see Peristrata here, the wife of Demipho? She quickens her pace; she glances about with her eyes; she turns herself round; she inclines her neck on one side. I'll observe from here what matter she's about; it's something of importance, whatever scent she's upon. Stands aside.
Enter PERISTRATA and LYCISSA, from the house of DEMIPHO.
PERISTRATA
The Goddess Astarte8 is the might of mortals and of the Gods, their life, their health; she, the same, who is likewise their death, destruction, downfall, the seas, the earth, the heaven, and the stars. Whatever Temples of Jove we inhabit, they are guided by her nod; her do they obey; to her do they pay regard; what displeases her, the other Deities do quickly put aside. Whatever pleases her, that, all things, which live and have sense, do pursue. Some she tortures, destroys; others, with her own milk does she nourish and raise aloft; but those whom she tortures, they live and enjoy their senses; those whom she hastens to rear and raise aloft, these last indeed do perish forthwith, and to their sorrow use their senses. Then, well-wishers, they lie prostrate, objects of dislike they bite the ground, grovel upon their faces, roar out, and make a riot; and when they think they live, then in especial do they rush on to ruin, then, then do they show eagerness in the pursuit of the object beloved; young men stumble, aged men likewise are led away. They love themselves; the object which they love, they wish to be loved and known. But if at that age they begin to fall in love, much more grievous is their madness. But if they do not love, then they hate, they are morose, too, and wayward; tattlers, haters, ill-disposed, passionate, envious for themselves and theirs. What they have formerly been shamelessly guilty of themselves, if it is done in a more quiet way, fathers do not tolerate as they ought to do; but they proclaim it, and indecently cry it out aloud. SYRA
apart . So far as I understand, Demipho is treating this lady badly too. PERISTRATA
This is the truth. My son is in love and is dying; when his father came to know of it, he was enraged beyond bounds. What insanity is this? This same husband of mine at one time packed my son off to Rhodes to traffic; now, according to the news Acanthio brings, he'll be betaking himself into banishment. O unjust father! O unfortunate son! whither will you betake yourself? Where will you leave your mother? Shall I pass my life bereft? Shall I lose my son? I will not endure it. Has his father sold her? Wherever she shall be found, the mother will redeem her. Do you tell me, Lycissa, do they suppose that she was brought into this neighbourhood? LYCISSA
pointing to the house of LYSIMACHUS . To that, I fancy; to the house of a certain old gentleman, a friend. PERISTRATA
Here, there is no one that 1 know of besides Lysimachus. SYRA
apart . They are mentioning Lysimachus. It's a wonder if the old fellows, who are neighbours, haven't been going halves in the same nest. PERISTRATA
I'll go look for Dorippa, his wife. The door of the house of LYSIMACHUS opens. LYCISSA
Why go look for her? Don't you see her? PERISTRATA
Indeed, I do see her. Let's listen; she's muttering something in a passion, I know not what, to herself. They stand aside.
Enter DORIPPA, from the house of LYSIMACHUS.
DORIPPA
to herself . Syra hasn't come back, whom, poor wretch, it's now a long time since I sent to fetch my father; in her very slowness, she has either hardened into a stone, or she has stopped from swelling with the sting of a serpent. SYRA
apart . I'm undone; here's my mistress, she's looking after me. DORIPPA
continuing . I cannot remain at home; my eyes cannot abide that pretty young harlot; I would have shut her out of doors, but my son Eutychus prevented me. Still, I shan't altogether believe the news he brings. LYCISSA
apart . Do you hear, mistress? PERISTRATA
apart . I hear; let her go on. LYCISSA
apart . I'll let her. DOR. to herself . He says that she has come hither to our house for the sake of an old gentleman, a friend; that he has her for sale, so that he may withdraw her from his son, who's in love with her. This really is a falsehood, either in my husband or my son; the accounts differ. The husband says that she was given him as a deposit; but the son says that she's on sale. SYRA
apart . I'll go meet her on a sudden, that she mayn't find out that I've been loitering. DORIPPA
In this matter I shan't believe my son, who's acting in compliance with his father; for, for him, like a regular cuckoo9, has he determined to tell abundance of lies: for my own part I shall believe the Cook, in preference. But see, here's Syra. How the old witch does run. Syra! SYRA
Who's calling me? Stares around her. DORIPPA
The Gods send a plague upon you! SYRA
Mistress, if you are wise, bestow this upon your rival and your husband in preference. DORIPPA
For saying that, I'm no longer angry with you. But where's your father? Why does he delay? Does gout hinder the man? SYRA
He's lame with neither gout nor chalk-stones10, whom his feet carry into the country. DORIPPA
Not at home? SYRA
No. DORIPPA
Where then? SYRA
They say he's in the country, and that it's uncertain whether he'll return to-day, he has such a large account with his bailiff. DORIPPA
Everything is befalling me this day contrary to my wishes. I shan't live till the evening, unless I drive that hussy away from the house. She turns to the door. I'm going home. LYCISSA
apart . The mistress is going away. PERISTRATA
apart . What, going away? Call her. LYCISSA
calling . Dorippa! Dorippa! DORIPPA
turning round . What nuisance is this? Who's calling me back? PERISTRATA
I'm not a nuisance, but a well-wisher; and it's your friend Peristrata addresses you. Prithee, do stay. DORIPPA
Why, Peristrata--i' faith, I didn't know you: dreadful vexation is tormenting and agitating me. PERISTRATA
This I enquire about--prithee don't deny me. I heard you just now; tell me what annoyance is troubling you. DORIPPA
Peristrata, so may the Gods prosper your only son, do kindly lend me your attention; none could be given me more agreably: our ages are alike; together we grew up; we have husbands alike in age; with no one do I converse with greater pleasure. I'm really annoyed with good reason. What now would your feelings be, if at this time of life your husband Demipho were to bring a mistress before your eyes? PERISTRATA
Has he brought one? DORIPPA
So it is. PERISTRATA
She's at your house? DORIPPA
At my house; aye, and cooks were hired; a banquet was being prepared, if my coming hadn't upset everything. Venus and Cupid are tormenting the wretched old fellow at an unseasonable time. PERISTRATA
But these things are trifles, Dorippa. I wish that I wasn't more wretched. DORIPPA
Trifles? PERISTRATA
Really trifles. DORIPPA
What worse could your husband do? PERISTRATA
Aye, worse than worse. DORIPPA
What is it? Prithee do say. As you to me, so I to you, let's give advice to each other what needs to be done, It's an old saying, that, "he's truly wise who is wise at the risk of another." PERISTRATA
Dorippa, I have an only son; do you know that? DORIPPA
I do know it. PERISTRATA
Him his father some time ago packed off from his own house to Rhodes. DORIPPA
For what reason? PERISTRATA
Because he was in love. DORIPPA
For that very thing? PERISTRATA
Yes, and the very same thing now as well--inasmuch as he had brought a female slave here, his father coming to know of it, took her away, and put her up for sale. DORIPPA
Aye, aye, I know it; my son told me the truth. I fancied she was the mistress of my husband. To whom was she entrusted? PERISTRATA
To a certain old gentleman in this neighbourhood, his friend. I think that he has no other friend here except your husband. DORIPPA
aside . It certainly is she. To PERISTRATA. What does your son? PERISTRATA
He declares that he'll leave this city. DORIPPA
The matter's in a safe position. What if he finds her? PERISTRATA
I imagine he'll stay. DORIPPA
Beyond expectation we are saved; don't doubt it; she's at my house. PERISTRATA
At your house? It was she, I suppose, about whom I heard you talking just now. DORIPPA
It was she. PERISTRATA
O well done; I love you with reason; you've restored me my son. Do let me see her. DORIPPA
Let's go in-doors then. PERISTRATA
Let's go. Turning round. Come here, Lycissa. Do you go tell these things to Acanthio. I'll go here to Dorippa's house. Exit LYCISSA. DORIPPA, PERISTRATA, and SYRA go into the house of LYSIMACHUS.
1 Altar of our neighbour: She alludes to Apollo Prostatorus: an altar or statue to whom was placed near the doors of most of the houses Athens; see the Notes to the Bacchides.
2 The time-keeper: The time was given to the rowers by the "pausarius," who is here called "hortator." The directions he gave were called 'celeusma," from the Greek κελεύω, "to order." Lysimachus probably means that Demipho has hired whole ranks of them
3 Are the country people: There has been much discussion as to the meaning of this passage; it seems, however, pretty clear that it is only an indirect way of asking Dorippa why she has so suddenly left the country for town. Colman thinks, with some of the older Commentators, that Dorippa pouts, and makes no return to her husband's salutation, on which he observes that the town gentry are grown as unmannerly as the country bumpkins. The context will admit of this explanation, but it seems rather far-fetched.
4 I shouldn't tell you: This he says, in his confusion, by mistake for "I should tell you."
5 Clearing yourself too soon: "Numero." Rost thinks that this means "you have quite," or "satisfactorily cleared yourself;" Dorippa, of course, saying so in an ironical manner. She seems, however, rather to allude to his defending himself before he is accused. Lysimachus pretends that some persons have disputed the possession of Pasicompsa, and that she has been left in his hands by mutual consent, till he has given his decision.
6 The marriage is dissolved: She alludes to the facility with which at Rome, where the Play was performed, wives were divorced on the merest suspicion of infidelity.
7 How now?: From the commencement of this line to the end of the act is generally considered to be spurious; probably it is the work of some zealous critic of the middle ages, who fondly thought to improve the Play as it stood. He introduces Peristrata as complaining of the conduct of her husband, in depriving her son of his mistress, but never suspecting what is the true state of the case; an opportunity for a Comic dilemma, which Plautus himself, had he intended to introduce the character, would probably not have neglected.
8 The Goddess Astarte: Astarte. The author seems to allude to Venus under this name. Cicero tells us that Astarte was the Syrian Venus. This soliloquy of Peristrata is very obscure and confused, and couched in most crabbed language, but her intention seems to be to descant upon the supreme sway of love.
9 A regular cuckoo: Plautus, on more than one occasion, calls an adulterer by this epithet.
10 Nor chalk- stones: "Articularius" Literally, "having a disease in the ioints."
The Comedies of Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley. London. G. Bell and Sons. 1912.
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