Judith White McGuire, Diary of a southern refugee during the war, by a lady of Virginia

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“ [337] awhile my father said to me, ‘Johnny,’ said he, ‘ you are of age, and must work for yourself now; I will give you ten acres of my farm; begin early in spring, break it up, and make a garden; in a few years you will be an independent man.’ Said I, ‘Father, may I put a house on it?’ ‘No, my son; when I die you will have this house; can't you live now with your mother and me?’ ‘ But, father,’ said I, ‘ suppose I get married, where can I live then?’ ‘If I like the match,’ said he, ‘ you may live here.’ I said no more then, but I saw Mary Dare, (he added, in a subdued voice, ‘her name was Mary Dare’ ) and I told her I would try my father again, and if he would not agree to what I said, I would go to America, and make a home for her. She was distressed, and I was in misery. Towards the spring my father said to me every now and then, ‘Johnny, why don't you break up your ground? I have seeds for ye; it is time to begin.’ But I could not begin; and I could not tell him why, I had such a dread of him. At last he said, ‘Johnny, you are behindhand; why don't you go to work?’ I knew from his look that I must speak now, and my mother looked so tender-like into my face, that I said, ‘Father, I can't live here, unless I can bring my wife here, or build a house for her. I am going to marry Mary Dare, and if you object to it, I will go to America.’ My father looked sternly at me, and said, ‘ I will not have you in my house or on my land, if you marry that girl; think about it; if you will give her up, you may live here and be well off; if not, you can go to America at once, and I will bear your expenses. Let me know to-morrow morning.’ My mother looked heart-broken, but she did not speak. She never opposed my father. This was Sunday. Next morning he asked me if I had made up my mind. I said, ‘Yes, sir; to go to ’”