Now as for those things which they say are the
causes that beget love, they are not peculiar to this or the
other sex, but common to both. For it cannot be that
those images that enter into amorous persons and whisk
about from one part to another, by their various forms
moving and tickling the mass of atoms that slide into the
seed, can come from young boys, and that the same cannot
come from young women. But as to these noble and
sacred remembrances with which the soul is winged, recalling that same divine, real, and Olympic beauty, what
should hinder but that these may pass from boys and young
men, and also from virgins and young women, whenever
a disposition chaste and good-natured appears united with
bloom of youth and grace of body? For, as a handsome
and well-made shoe shows the proportion of the foot (as
Ariston says), so they that have judgment in these matters
can discern the splendid, upright, and uncorrupted footsteps of a noble and generous soul in beautiful forms and
features, and bodies undefiled. For, if a voluptuous person, who when the question was put to him,
To which are your hot passions most inclined,
Or to the male, or to the female kind?
answered thus,
'Tis the same thing to me
Where'er I beauty see,
was thought to have returned a proper and pertinent answer and one that accorded with his passions, is it possible
that a noble and generous lover directs his amours not to
loveliness and good-nature, but only to the parts that distinguish the sex? For certainly a man that delights in
horses will no less value the mettle and swiftness of Podargus, than of Aetha that was Agamemnon's mare; and
he that is a good huntsman does not only delight in dogs,
but mixes with his cry the bitches of Crete and Laconia;
and shall he that is a lover as well as of civil behavior
[p. 300]
carry himself with an inequality more to one than to
another, and make a distinction, as of garments, between
the love of men and women? But some say that beauty
is the flower of virtue. Will they then affirm, that the
female sex never blossoms nor makes any show of tendency
to virtue? It were absurd to think so. Therefore was
Aeschylus in the right when he said, that he could never
mistake the fire in the eye of a young woman who had
once known a man. Now then are those signs and marks of
lasciviousness, wantonness, and impudence to be discovered
in the visages of women, and shall there be no light shining
in their faces for the discovery of modesty and chastity?
Nay, shall there be many such signs, and those apparent,
and shall they not be able to allure and provoke love?
Both are contrary to reason, and dissonant from truth.
But every one of these things is common to both sexes, as
we have showed.
Now then, Daphnaeus, let us confute the reason that
Zeuxippus has but now alleged, by making love to be all
one with inordinate desire that hurries the soul to intemperance. Not that it is his opinion, but only what he has
frequently heard from men morose and no way addicted to
love. Of this class there are some who, marrying poor
silly women for the sake of some petty portion, and having
nothing to do with them and their money but to make
them perpetual drudges in pitiful mechanic employments,
are every day brawling and quarrelling with them.
Others, more desirous of children than of wives, like cicadae that spill their seed upon squills or some such like
herb, discharge their lust in haste upon the next they
meet with; and having reaped the fruit they sought for,
bid marriage farewell or else regard it not at all, neither
caring to love nor to be beloved. And in my opinion, the
words
στέργειν and
στέργεσθαι, which signify
dearly to love and
dearly to be beloved again, differing but one letter from
[p. 301]
στέγειν, which signifies
to contain or
endure, seem to me to
import and denote that mutual kindness called conjugal,
which is intermixed by time and custom with necessity.
But in that wedlock which love supports and inspires, in
the first place, as in Plato's Commonwealth, there will be
no such language as ‘thine’ and ‘mine.’ For properly to
speak, there is not community of goods among all friends;
but only where two friends, though severed in body, yet
have their souls joined and as it were melted together, and
neither desire to be two nor believe themselves to be
separate persons. And, in the second place, there will be
that mutual respect and reverence, which is the chiefest
happiness of wedlock. Now as to that respect that
comes from without, carrying with it more force of law
than voluntary and reciprocal duty, or that comes by fear
and shame,
And many other curbs, that loose desire
And lawless frisks of wanton heat require,
1
these are always present with those who are coupled in
matrimony. Whereas in love there is so much continency,
so much modesty, and so much of loyal affection, that even
if it happen upon an intemperate and lascivious soul, it is
thereby diverted from all other amours, by cutting off all
malapert boldness and bringing down the insolence of imperious pride; instead of which it introduces modest bashfulness, silence, and submission, and adorning it with decent
and becoming behavior, makes it for ever after the obedient
observer of one lover. Most certainly you have heard of
that celebrated and highly courted courtesan Lais, how her
beauty inflamed all Greece, or rather how two seas strove
for her. This famous beauty, being seized with an ardent
affection for Hippolochus the Thessalian, leaving the Acrocorinthus, as the poet describes it,
With sea-green water all encompassed round,2
[p. 302]
and privately avoiding the great army (as I may call it) of
those that courted her favor, withdrew herself modestly to
the enjoyment of him only; but the women, incensed with
jealousy and envying her surpassing beauty, dragged her
into the temple of Venus, and there stoned her to death;
for which reason it is called to this day the temple of Venus the Murderess. We ourselves have known several
young damsels, mere slaves, who never would submit to
the embraces of their masters, and private men who have
disdained the company of queens, when love had the absolute dominion of their hearts. For, as in Rome, when
there is a dictator chosen, all other chief magistrates lay
down their offices; so all such persons, where love is truly
predominant, are immediately free and manumitted from
all other lords and masters, and afterwards live like servants
in the temple of Love. And indeed a virtuous and generous lady, once linked to her lawful husband by an unfeigned
affection, will sooner choose the embraces of bears and
dragons, than to be the bed-fellow of any other person
whatsoever but her only spouse.
