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Enter SOPHOCLIDISCA and LEMNISELENE, from the house of DORDALUS.
SOPHOCLIDISCA
It were enough to tell an untaught, thoughtless, silly girl the same thing so many times over; really, in fact, I do imagine that I'm quite looked upon by you as a blockhead and a country booby. Although I do drink wine, still I'm not in the habit of swallowing down your commands together with it. I really had fancied that both myself and my ways had now been sufficiently proved by you; for, as for me, I've attended you now these five years; whereas, in that time, a cuckoo even, I do believe, if he had gone to school, could by now have been made to know his letters well; while, in the meantime, whether speaking or not speaking1, you have not made yourself acquainted with my disposition. Can you not hold your tongue? Can you not cease advising me? I remember, and I know, and I understand, and I keep in mind; i' faith, you are in love, poor thing; on that account your mind's disturbed. I'll cause that that shall be calmed for you. LEMNISELENE
Wretched is the person that's in love. Goes into the house. SOPHOCLIDISCA
to herself . Good for nothing, indeed, he certainly is, who is in love with nothing. What need has that person of life? I ought to go, that I may prove obedient to my mistress; that through my aid she may the sooner become a free woman. I'll go meet this Toxilus, however; his ears I'll stuff with what has been enjoined upon me. Stands aside.
Enter, from the house, TOXILUS and PÆGNIUM.
TOXILUS
Are these things quite clear and certain to you--do you quite remember and understand them? PÆG.
Better than you who have instructed me. TOXILUS
Say you so, you whip-rascal? PÆG.
I really do say so. TOXILUS
What did I say then P PÆG.
I'll tell it to her all correctly. TOXILUS
I' faith, you don't know it. PÆG.
Troth now, lay me a wager that I don't remember and know it all. TOXILUS
Why, for my part, I'll lay a wager with you on this, whether you know your own self, how many fingers you have this day upon your hand. PÆG.
Without hesitation--if you are desirous to lose. TOXILUS
A fair truce rather let there be. PÆG.
For that reason, then, do you let me go. TOXILUS
I both bid and permit you. But I wish you so to attend to it, that you are back home while I'm thinking that you are there. PÆG.
I'll do so. Moves towards their own house. TOXILUS
Whither are you now going? PÆG.
Home; that I may be at home while you are thinking that I am there. TOXILUS
You are a rascal of a boy, and----for this service I'll give you something to add2 to your savings. PÆG.
I'm aware how want of shame is wont to be imputed to a master's word, and that masters cannot ever be compelled to appear before the judge on account of those promises. TOXILUS
Be off now. PÆG.
I'll give you reason to command me. TOXILUS
But, Pægnium, take you care and give that letter to Lemniselene herself, and tell her what I bade you. SOPHOCLIDISCA
apart . Do I delay to go whither I was sent? PÆG.
I'm off. TOXILUS
Then do be off; I'll off home. Take care and manage this business with attention. Fly post haste. Goes into the house. PÆG.
That's what the ostrich3 is wont to do in the Circus He's off from here m-doors there. But who's this woman that's coming towards me? SOPHOCLIDISCA
advancing . Surely this is Pægnimn. PÆG.
This is Sophoclidisca, the private servant of her to whom I'm sent. SOPHOCLIDISCA
aside . There's not a person this day that's reported to be more artful than this boy. I'll accost him. PÆG.
At this bar4 I must come to a stop. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Pægnium, my charmer of a boy, save you; how are you? How do you do? PÆG.
Sophoclidisca, the Gods will favour me. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Why "me?" Which of us? PÆG.
I' faith, I don't know. But if they were to do as you deserve, by my troth they'd hold you in hate, and treat you but badly. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Do leave off your abusive talking. PÆG.
Since I'm saying just as you I'm talking to deserve, properly, not abusively. SOPHOCLIDISCA
What are you about now? PÆG.
Standing opposite to you, looking at a worthless woman. SOPHOCLIDISCA
For my own part, assuredly, I do not know any more good-for-nothing boy than yourself. PÆG.
What mischief do I do, or to what person do I speak abusively? SOPHOCLIDISCA
I' faith, to every one that you have the opportunity. PÆG.
Not an individual has ever thought so. SOPHOCLIDISCA
But, i' faith, full many a one knows that so it is. PÆG.
Heyday, indeed! SOPHOCLIDISCA
Heyday, indeed! PÆG.
According to your own disposition you judge of the ways of others. SOPHOCLIDISCA
I certainly do confess that I'm just as befits one of a Procurer's household to be. PÆG.
I've now had enough of your chattering. SOPHOCLIDISCA
What say you? Do you plead guilty to what I take you to be? PÆG.
If I were so, I should confess it. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Be off then; you've got the victory. PÆG.
Now then be off with you. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Do you then tell me this--whither are you going? PÆG.
Whither are you? SOPHOCLIDISCA
Say you. PÆG.
Say you. SOPHOCLIDISCA
I was the first to ask. PÆG.
Then you shall be the last to know. SOPHOCLIDISCA
I'm going not far hence. PÆG.
And I, indeed, not far. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Whither then, you rascal? PÆG.
Unless I know first of you, you shall never know this of me that you are enquiring. SOPHOCLIDISCA
On my honor you shall never this day know before I've heard it of you. PÆG.
Is such the fact? SOPHOCLIDISCA
Is such the fact? PÆG.
You are a worthless one. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Rogue. PÆG.
That befits me. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Me then it does not befit. PÆG.
What do you say? Are you quite determined, you hussy, to conceal whither you are going? SOPHOCLIDISCA
And are you quite resolved to hide whither you are betaking yourself, you scoundrel? PÆG.
You are giving answer to what I say like for like; be off with you then, since such is your determination. I don't care at all to know. Good-bye. Moving. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Stop! PÆG.
But I'm in a hurry. SOPHOCLIDISCA
And, i' faith, I as well. PÆG.
Have you got anything? Pointing to her hand. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Have you anything? Pointing likewise. PÆG.
Really nothing whatever. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Show me your hand then. PÆG.
showing his right hand . Is this the hand? SOPHOCLIDISCA
Where is that other, the pilfering left hand? PÆG.
hiding his left hand . Why, it is at home, d'ye see; I've not brought one hither. SOPHOCLIDISCA
trying to seize his hand . You've got something, what it is I know not. PÆG.
pushing her away . Don't be mauling me about you she-groper. SOPHOCLIDISCA
But suppose I'm in love with you. PÆG.
You employ your pains to no purpose. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Why so? PÆG.
Why, because you are in love with nothing at all, when you are in love with one who doesn't return it. SOPHOCLIDISCA
It befits these youthful looks and age to be on the watch for pleasure il good time; so that, when your hair comes to change its hue, you may not be always in a grovelling servitude. Why, really, as yet you are not eighty pounds in weight. PÆG.
Still, that warfare is waged much more successfully by spirit than by weight. But I'm losing my pains. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Why so? PÆG.
Because I'm teaching those who know it all. But I'm loitering here. Moves. SOPHOCLIDISCA
taking hold of him . Do stop. PÆG.
You are annoying to me. SOPHOCLIDISCA
And so I shall be then, if I don't find out whither you are betaking yourself. PÆG.
To your house. SOPHOCLIDISCA
And I to your house, i' faith. PÆG.
Why thither? SOPHOCLIDISCA
What's that to you? PÆG.
standing before her . Why, you shan't go now, unless, in return, I know. SOPHOCLIDISCA
You are teazing. PÆG.
I choose to. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Never, upon my faith, shall you wring this out of me, so as to prove yourself more artful than I am. PÆG.
It's a misery to contend with you in artfulness. SOPHOCLIDISCA
You are a mischievous baggage. PÆG.
What is there for you to fear? SOPHOCLIDISCA
The very same that there is for you. PÆG.
Say then, what is it? SOPHOCLIDISCA
But I'm forbidden to tell this to any person, and am instructed that all the dumb people are to speak of it before myself. PÆG.
And most especially was I cautioned not to trust this to any person, so that all the dumb people were to mention this before myself. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Still, do you do so; on giving our words, let's trust each other. PÆG.
I know this--all procuresses are light of faith, and the weight of a water-gnat5 is not more light than is the word of a procurer. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Tell me, there's a dear. PÆG.
Tell me, there's a dear. SOPHOCLIDISCA
I don't want to be your dear. PÆG.
You'll easily prevail upon me in that. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Keep it yourself. PÆG.
And you be mum about this. Showing her a letter. SOPHOCLIDISCA
It shall be kept a secret. PÆG.
It shall not be known. She shows him a letter. SOPHOCLIDISCA
I'm carrying this letter to Toxilus, your master. PÆG.
Be off; he's there at home. And I am carrying this pinewood tablet sealed, to Lemniselene, your mistress. SOPHOCLIDISCA
What's written there. PÆG.
If you don't know, pretty much like yourself, I don't know, except soft words, perhaps. SOPHOCLIDISCA
I'm off. PÆG.
And I'll be off. SOPHOCLIDISCA
Move on then. They go into the respective houses.
Enter SAGARISTO.
SAGARISTIO
to himself . To Jove the opulent, the renowned, the son of Ops6, the strong, the mighty in power, who riches, hopes, kind plenty does bestow, joyously and gratefully do I offer the sacrifice of thanksgiving, inasmuch as in a friendly way they have bestowed for my friend this opportunity of satisfying his necessity and of borrowing the money, so that I can lend him aid in his need. Whereas I no more dreamed, or thought, or imagined that I should have this opportunity--that same has now fallen from heaven as it were. For my master has sent me to Eretria7; he has given me the money to purchase some trained oxen for him; but he said that the fair would take place seven days hence; a simpleton to trust this money to me whose propensity he knew; for this money I shall misapply in some other purpose: there were no oxen for me to buy. Now I'll both promote the success of my friend, and will give my inclination full enjoyment. The pleasures that belong to a long time will I serve up in a single day. Crack, crack8 it will be upon my back; I don't care. Now, to a person that is my friend I shall present these trained oxen from out of my purse; for this, in fact, is a delightful thing, handsomely to bite your thrice-dotted niggardly, antiquated, covetous, spiritless people, who against their servant seal up the saltcellar with the salt. It's a virtue, when occasion prompts, to hold them in contempt. What will he do to me? He'll order me to be beaten with stripes, the fetters to be put on. I may get a beating. Don't let him fancy that I shall go begging to him. Woe be unto him! Nothing new can now be inflicted upon me but what I have already experienced it. But see, here comes Pægnium, Toxilus's boy.
Enter PÆGNIUM, from the house of DORDALUS.
PÆG.
to himself . My task that was set me I've finished; now I'm hastening home. SAGARISTIO
Stop, although you are in haste--Pægnium, listen to me. PÆG.
You ought to buy a person, for you to desire to be obedient to you. Moves on. SAGARISTIO
Stop there, I say. PÆG.
You'd be giving some trouble, I fancy, if I were to be owing you anything, who are now so troublesome. SAGARISTIO
You rascal, will you look back then? PÆG.
I am aware of what age I am; for that reason you shall get off for this abuse with impunity. SAGARISTIO
Where is Toxilus, your master? PÆG.
Wherever he pleases, and he don't ask your advice. SAGARISTIO
Won't you tell me, then, where he is, you villain? PÆG.
I don't know, I say, you elm-twig spoiler9. SAGARISTIO
You are abusive to your senior. PÆG.
As you deserved it first, do you put up with it. My master bade me hold my labour at his bidding, my tongue in freedom. SAGARISTIO
Will you not tell me, where is Toxilus? PÆG.
I tell you that--you may go to perdition everlasting. SAGARISTIO
This day you shall be flogged with a rope's end. PÆG.
On your account, indeed, you cuckoo! I' faith, you carrion, if I were to give you a broken head, I shouldn't be afraid of that. SAGARISTIO
I understand you, you've been up to10 some bad work just now. PÆG.
So I have. What business is that to you? But I haven't, like yourself, all for nothing. SAGARISTIO
Assurance! PÆG.
I' faith, I certainly am; for I am assured that I shall be free; don't be hoping that you'll ever be so. SAGARISTIO
Can't you cease your impertinence? PÆG.
That which you are mentioning, you can't do yourself. SAGARISTIO
Away with you to utter perdition. PÆG.
And off home with you; for there it's all ready prepared for you. SAGARISTIO
He summons me11 on my recognizances. PÆG.
I only wish the sureties may be out of the way, so that you may get to prison. SAGARISTIO
Why's this? PÆG.
Aye, why is it? SAGARISTIO
Still abusing me, rascal? PÆG.
Why, inasmuch as you are a slave, it ought at least to be allowed a slave to abuse you. SAGARISTIO
And is it so? Just look holding up his fist what I shall give you. PÆG.
Nothing; for nothing have you. SAGARISTIO
May all the Gods and Goddesses confound me, if I don't this very day, if I lay hold of you, fell you to the ground with blows. PÆG.
I am your friend; I trust that what you wish may befall you, and that it may come to pass; if you fell me12, may others make you feel yourself fixed to the cross before long. SAGARISTIO
But you may the Gods and Goddesses----You understand what I was going to say after that, if I hadn't been able to restrain my tongue. Can't you be off? PÆG.
You drive me off with ease; for already my shadow's getting13 a whipping in-doors. Goes into the house. SAGARISTIO
to himself . May the Gods and Goddesses confound that fellow! just like a crawling serpent he has got a double tongue, and is a wicked one. Upon my faith, I'm glad he's gone. Going towards the door. Open, you door. But look! he's coming from within, the person that I most especially wished to meet with.
Enter TOXILUS, from his MASTER'S house, followed by SOPHOCLIDISCA.
TOXILUS
to SOPHOCLIDISCA . Tell her that it's now arranged whence the money is to come. Bid her be of good heart; tell her that I love her exceedingly. When she cheers up, then does she cheer me up. What I've told you to tell her, do you quite understand it? SOPHOCLIDISCA
Better than your legs14 under-stand you, do I understand it. TOXILUS
Make all haste, be off home. SOPHOCLIDISCA goes into the house of DORDALUS. SAGARISTIO
apart . Now I'll make myself a perfect droll towards him; I'll carry myself with arms a-kimbo, and assume a lordly air15. Struts along. TOXILUS
But who's this that's walking like a two-handled jug16? SAGARISTIO
apart . I'll spit about me in a dignified style. Spits about. TOXILUS
Why, surely this is Sagaristio. How are you, Sagaristio? How do you do? Is there any tiny hope in you as to that which I entrusted to you? SAGARISTIO
in a lofty way . Step this way; it shall be seen to; I would have it done. Advance--move forward. TOXILUS
What's this swelling17 here upon your neck? Touches his neck. SAGARISTIO
It's a tumour; forbear to press it, for when any person touches it with a rude hand, pain is the result. TOXILUS
When did that first come upon you? SAGARISTIO
To-day. TOXILUS
You should order it to be lanced. SAGARISTIO
I'm afraid to lance it before it's ripe, lest it should cause me more trouble. TOXILUS
I'd like to examine your complaint. Comes nearer. SAGARISTIO
retreatinq . Be off, and do be careful, will you, of the horns. TOX. Why so? SAGARISTIO
Because a couple of oxen are here in the purse. TOXILUS
Do let them out, please; don't starve them with hunger--do let them go to pasture. SAGARISTIO
Why, I'm afraid that I mayn't be able to drive them back to their stall, lest they should wander. TOXILUS
I'll drive them back; be of good heart, SAGARISTIO
You shall be trusted then; I'll lend them you Follow this way, please taking the purse from his neck ; in this there is the money which you were asking me for a short time since. TOXILUS
What is it you say? SAGARISTIO
My master has sent me to Eretria to purchase some oxen; at present my Eretria shall be this house of yours. TOXILUS
You speak quite enchantingly; and I shall very soon return you all the money safe; for now I've arranged and put in readiness all my devices, in which way I'm to get this money out of this Procurer. SAGARISTIO
So much the better. TOXILUS
Both for the damsel to be set at liberty, and, still further, for himself to pay the money. But follow me; I have need of your assistance in this affair. SAGARISTIO
Make use of it just as you please. They go into the house.
1 Or not speaking: Schmieder thinks, that by this expression Sophoclidisca alludes to the habitual taciturnity of Lemniselene; indeed, her quiet and inoffensive disposition is observable throughout the Play. In the concluding Scene the Procurer calls her "ignavis." "lump of laziness."
2 Give you something to add: "Peculiabo." Some Commentators will have it that an indecent allusion is intended here. Possibly they are not mistaken; but it is a rather far-fetched one.
3 The ostrich: "Marinus passer." Literally, the "sea-sparrow," Pægnium alludes to the mode in which the ostrich runs, in answer to the order of Toxilus, who tells him to fly. The ostrich, as it runs, flaps it wings as though flying. Referring to Roman customs, Pægnium speaks as though he had seen ostriches in the Roman Circus. These, and wild beasts of every description, were hunted there at the "Venationes," for the amusement of the people. It is not improbable that ostriches had been recently introduced into Rome, as forming part of the spoil of the Carthaginians. The Emperor Probus, several centuries after this period, gave a "Venatio" of a thousand ostriches in the Circus.
4 At this bar: Seeing Sophoclidisca, he knows that she will stop him for a bit of gossip, and he consequently stvles her an "obex," a "bar" or "impediment."
5 Weight of a water-gnat: "Tipulæ," a "water-gnat," or "waterspider." This is a very pretty illustration. On a sunny day these little animals may be seen in hundreds skating over the surface of still water. Warner suggests that this simile may have been a proverbial one.
6 The son of Ops: He seems to intend a jingle on the resemblance between "Jove the opulent" and "the son of Ops." The Goddess Ops of the Romans was the same Divinity as the Rhea of the Greeks, and was daughter of Cœlus and Terra, and became the mother of Jupiter by her husband Saturn. She was also known by the name of Cybele, Bona Dea, Magna Mater, and Tellus.
7 Eretria: This was a city in the island of Eubœa, on the Eastern coast of Greece
8 Crack, crack: "Tax, tax." The noise of the cracking of the
9 Elm twig spoiler: "Ulmitriba." This word is composed of the Latin "ulmus," "an elm," and the Greek τριβὼ, "to rub" or "wear;" and may mean either "one beaten" or "rubbed with elm-twigs," or "one that wears elm-twigs."
10 You've been up to: This passage is somewhat modified in the Translation.
11 He summons me: The meaning of this allusion is somewhat abscure; but it seems likely that when Pægnium uses the word "præsto," "ready," or "in preparation," Sagaristio understands him to speak of "præs," "a surety" or "bail;" on which he remarks that Pægnium is calling him as his surety.
12 If you fell me: "Tu ut me defigas, te cruci ipsum propediem alii affigant." Literally, "should you fix me down, may others before long be fixing yourself up to the cross;" the play being upon the verbs "defigo" and "affigo." An attempt has been made to give a somewhat similar pun in the Translation.
13 My shadow's getting: Being close to the house, and in a hurry to get home, he says that his shadow is in the house already, getting the beating which awaits its owner for having been so long on his errand.
14 Better than your legs: "Magis calleo, quam aprugnum collum callet." This pun cannot be appreciated in a literal translation, and another is substituted, for which we are indebted to Warner. The play is upon the resemblance of "calleo," "to understand," "calleo," "to be hard," and "collum," "the hard part," or "brawn, of a boar's neck." Literally translated, it is, "I understand in a better degree than the brawn of a bar's neck is hard." This pun occurs also in the Pœnulus, l. 577.
15 Assume a lordly air: "Amicibor." By the use of the word, he clearly refers to some peculiar way of assuming a jaunty air, probably by tucking up a portion of the dress. In the same way we read in our old Novelists of military men "cocking their hats" to look fierce. To spit with noise and gesture was also considered to give an air of importance.
16 Like a two handled jug: "Ansatus." His arms being a kimbo, he compares him to a jug with two handles.
17 What's this swelling: He has the purse slung round his neck, underneath his dress. This bulges out, and Toxilus asks him what it is. There is a somewhat similar Scene in the Asinaria, between Libanus and Leonida.
The Comedies of Plautus. Henry Thomas Riley. London. G. Bell and Sons. 1912.
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