SCENE II
A room in LEONATO'S house.Enter DON PEDRO, CLAUDIO, BENEDICK, and LEONATO.
D. Pedro.
I do but stay till your marriage
be consummate, and then go I toward Arragon.
Claud.
I'll bring you thither, my lord, if
you'll vouchsafe me.
D. Pedro.
Nay, that would be as great a
soil in the new gloss of your marriage as to
show a child his new coat and forbid him to
wear it. I will only be bold with Benedick for
his company; for, from the crown of his head
to the sole of his foot, he is all mirth: he hath
twice or thrice cut Cupid's bow-string and the
little hangman dare not shoot at him; he hath
a heart as sound as a bell and his tongue is
the clapper, for what his heart thinks his tongue
speaks.
Bene.
Gallants, I am not as I have been.
Leon.
So say I: methinks you are sadder.
Claud.
I hope he be in love.
D. Pedro.
Hang him, truant! there's no
true drop of blood in him, to be truly touched (20)
with love: if he be sad, he wants money.
Bene.
I have the toothache.
D. Pedro.
Draw it.
Bene.
Hang it!
Claud.
You must hang it first, and draw it
afterwards.
D. Pedro.
What! sigh for the toothache?
Leon.
Where is but a humor or a worm.
Bene.
Well, every one can master a grief
but he that has it. (30)
Claud.
Yet say I, he is in love.
D. Pedro.
There is no appearance of fancy
in him, unless it be a fancy that he hath to
strange disguises; as, to be a Dutchman today,
a Frenchman to-morrow, or in the shape
of two countries at once, as, a German from
the waist downward, all slops, and a Spaniard
from the hip upward, no doublet. Unless he
have a fancy to this foolery, as it appears he
hath, he is no fool for fancy, as you would
have it appear he is.
Claud.
If he be not in love with some
woman, there is no believing old signs: a'
brushes his hat o' mornings; what should that bode?
D. Pedro.
Hath any man seen him at the
barber's?
Claud.
No, but the barber's man hath been
seen with him, and the old ornament of his
cheek hath already stuffed tennis-balls.
Leon.
Indeed, he looks younger than he
did, by the loss of a beard.
D. Pedro.
Nay, a' rubs himself with civet: (51)
can you smell him out by that?
Claud.
That's as much as to say, the sweet
youth's in love.
D. Pedro.
The greatest note of it is his
melancholy.
Claud.
And when was he wont to wash his
face?
D. Pedro.
Yea, or to paint himself? for the
which, I hear what they say of him.
Claud.
Nay, but his jesting spirit; which is
now crept into a lute-string and now governed
by stops.
D. Pedro.
Indeed, that tells a heavy tale
for him: conclude, conclude he is in love.
Claud.
Nay, but I know who loves him.
D. Pedro.
That would I know too: I warrant
one that knows him not.
Claud.
Yes, and his ill conditions; and, in
despite of all, dies for him.
D. Pedro.
She shall be buried with her face (71)
upwards.
Bene.
Yet is this no charm for the toothache.
Old signior, walk aside with me: I have
studied eight or nine wise words to speak to
you, which these hobby-horses must not hear. [Exeunt Benedick and Leonato.
D. Pedro.
For my life, to break with him
about Beatrice.
Claud.
'Tis even so. Hero and Margaret
have by this played their parts with Beatrice;
and then the two bears will not bite one another (81)
when they meet. Enter DON JOHN.
D. John.
My lord and brother, God save you!
D. Pedro.
Good den, brother.
D. John.
If your leisure served, I would
speak with you.
D. Pedro.
In private?
D. John.
If it please you: yet Count
Claudio may hear; for what I would speak of
concerns him.
D. Pedro.
What's the matter? D. John.
[To Claudio]
Means your lordship
to be married to-morrow?
D. Pedro.
You know he does.
D. John.
I know not that, when he knows
what I know.
Claud.
If there be any impediment, I pray
you discover it.
D. John.
You may think I love you not:
let that appear hereafter, and aim better at me
by that I now will manifest. For my brother,
I think he holds you well, and in dearness of
heart hath holp to effect your ensuing marriage,—
surely suit ill spent and labor ill bestowed.
D. Pedro.
Why, what's the matter?
D. John.
I came hither to tell you; and,
circumstances shortened, for she has been too
long a talking of, the lady is disloyal.
Claud.
Who, Hero?
D. John.
Even she; Leonato's Hero, your (110)
Hero, every man's Hero.
Claud.
Disloyal?
D. John.
The word is too good to paint out
her wickedness; I could say she were worse:
think you of a worse title, and I will fit her to
it. Wonder not till further warrant: go but
with me to-night, you shall see her chamberwindow
entered, even the night before her
wedding-day: if you love her then, to-morrow
wed her; but it would better fit your honor to
change your mind. (120)
Claud.
May this be so?
D. Pedro.
I will not think it.
D. John.
If you dare not trust that you see,
confess not that you know: if you will follow
me, I will show you enough; and when you
have seen more and heard more, proceed
accordingly.
Claud.
If I see any thing to-night why I
should not marry her to-morrow, in the congregation,
where I should wed, here will I
shame her.
D. Pedro.
And, as I wooed for thee to obtain
her, I will join with thee to disgrace her.
D. John.
I will disparage her no farther
till you are my witness: bear it coldly but
till midnight, and let the issue show itself.
D. Pedro.
O day untowardly turned!
Claud.
O mischief strangely thwarting!
D. John.
O plague right well prevented!
so will you say when you have seen the sequel. [Exeunt.
