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Thomas Wentworth Higginson, Letters and Journals of Thomas Wentworth Higginson, Chapter army life and camp drill (search)
. Were I a private, I could do many things and run many risks which I ought not now to incur. I could go out by night on scouts. I have power, responsibility, rule a city absolutely, adjudicate arrests of prisoners and restitutions of old women's cows, plan defences, go on well-escorted reconnoissances, but the propensity for personal scrapes is partially corked up. Jacksonville, Fla., March 24 I remember Charles Devens saying that he never had felt such unutterable relief as when Colonel Baker arrived on the field at the Battle of Ball's Bluff. Not that he brought very strong reinforcements with him, but simply that he lifted the load of responsibility off Devens's shoulders; and after that he had merely to fight and obey orders — not command. Something of this feeling has been mine for twenty-four hours. When the Delaware approached the wharf with the Eighth Maine Regiment and Colonel Rust (my superior officer), I had to send him the message that I was very sorry I could