25.
[59]
But since we cannot change what is already past, why does this mannikin, this
Epicurus of mud and clay, delay to instill these admirable precepts of
wisdom into that most illustrious and consummate general, his son-in-law?
That man, believe me, is influenced by glory. He burns, he is on fire with
the desire of a well-deserved and great triumph. He has not
learnt the same lessons that you have. Send him a book. Or rather, at once,
if you yourself can contrive to meet him in person, think over what language
you can find to check and extinguish that violent passion of his, and as a
man of moderation and consistency you will have great influence over one who
is quite giddy with his desire for glory; as a learned man, you will easily
convince an ignorant man like him, as his father-in-law no doubt you will
prevail with your son-in-law. For you will say to him like a man formed to
persuade as you are neat, accomplished, a polished specimen of the schools.
“How is it possible, O Caesar, for these supplications, which have
now been decreed so often and for so many days, to delight you so
excessively? Men are greatly mistaken about these things,—things
which the gods disregard as that godlike Epicurus of ours has said, nor are
they in the habit of being propitious to, or angry with, any one on account
of such trifles.”
I am afraid you will hardly get him to agree with you when you argue in this
manner. For he will see that they both are, and have been, angry with you.
[60]
Turn to another school, and then speak thus of a triumph: “What is
the meaning of that chariot? What is the use of those generals bound in
front of the chariot? and of the images of towns? and of the gold? and of
the silver? and of the lieutenants on horseback? and of the tribunes? What
avail all the shouts of the soldiery? and all that procession? To hunt for
applause, to be carried through the city, to wish to he gazed upon, are all
mere trifles, believe me, things to please children. There is nothing in all
those things which you can grasp as solid, nothing which you can refer to as
causing pleasure to the body.
[61]
You see me
who have returned from the same province on returning from which Titus
Flamininus, and Lucius Paullus, and Quintus Metellus, and Titus Didius, and
multitudes of others, inflamed with empty desires, have celebrated triumphs;
you see me, I say, returning in such a spirit, that I trampled my Macedonian
laurels under foot at the Esquiline
gate,—that I arrived with fifteen ill-dressed men thirsting at the
Coelimontane gate, where my freedman had a couple of days before hired me a
house suited to so great a general; and if that house had not been to be
let, I should have pitched myself a tent in the Campus Martius. Meanwhile, O Caesar, in
consequence of my neglect of all that triumphal pomp, my money remains safe
at home, and will remain there. Immediately on my return, I gave in my
accounts to the treasury, as your law required; but in no other particular
have I complied with your law. And if you examine those accounts, you will
see that no one has ever gained greater advantage from his learning than I
have. For they are drawn up so learnedly and so cleverly, that the clerk who
made the return to the treasury, when he had written them all out,
scratching his head with his left hand, murmured out, ‘Indeed, the
accounts are wonderfully clear, the money οἴχεται.’”1 If you
make him this speech, I have no doubt that you will be able to recall him to
his senses even when actually stepping into his chariot.
This text is part of:
Search the Perseus Catalog for:
1 A Greek word signifying “is gone, perished.”
This work is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 United States License.
An XML version of this text is available for download, with the additional restriction that you offer Perseus any modifications you make. Perseus provides credit for all accepted changes, storing new additions in a versioning system.